Hell, Handbaskets, and Optimism

[Opti]

I'm having an extenstional crisis which is highly money related.
I'm pretty sure the answer is do the impossible one more time.


Nevertheless I'd like your support and musings. I originally came to YM because I got in over my head in CC debt taking out those crazy money transfers at low interest rates in hopes of timing my home sale and giving me time to find a decent paying job and remain in NJ
instead of moving home.

Interestingly I find myself at the tail end of that story in a not so dis-similar position.

[Opti]

Other fun current Hell, Handbasket facts.


I have a friend right now in ICU with vision problems. A mutual friend had vision issues around the winter holidays which was a sign of something more. We all know each other from volunteering for an organization called PSG, Professional Services Group. I also have been having vision issues, but unlike my friends I don't have husbands, health insurance, enough income, so hopefully it is mostly a metaphysical reaction to being unable to see how things are going to work out.

I should probably delete all this and maybe I will later today.

[Opti]

I write a lot because my thoughts are complex and it helps me clarify them.


The simple question YMers, EEers, PBers is do you think
Optimist is the kind of person you think social programs should support and keep alive or is one's current financial situation the way we should measure my worth and others?

[Tired Tess]

I think we are the same age. No, "social programs should support and keep alive" Optimist. I'm very sorry I don't know what the answer is for you, but sitting back letting others keep you is not it.

Why can't you move out of state? NJ is expensive.

[Opti]

Alright. One vote for starvation if I don't find a job with enough income before this round of unemployment runs out.


Next?
(I could move out of NJ but my funds are so limited it is basically a Hail Mary move with my remaining retirement income. My car needs at least $3K in repairs. Not sure if I can make long drives or not safely. And no, the family lets me live with them option is dead and a two day drive.)

[Deleted]

Um, i would love to give my opinion but i am not really sure what the question is. If you could debrief me a bit, i would be happy to give ya my 2 cents!

[constanz22]

Jun 2, 2012 11:06:09 GMT -5 @shooby said:

Um, i would love to give my opinion but i am not really sure what the question is. If you could debrief me a bit, i would be happy to give ya my 2 cents!

Me neither...my first thought after reading the OP was "are you drunk?". LOL, can't follow or understand it at all....sorry...

[Happy prose]

Optimist..if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

[Deleted]

Your message it too vague for the literal types that inhabit this board. I admit that I had a bit of difficulty with it too and I was raised by musicians.

That being said I think you need to reinvent yourself. You seem to have a creative streak. Look beyond the want ads and become master of your own destiny. What could you do for money on your own? What service could you perform (at least temporarily) to support yourself when unemployment runs out. I don't think that society should let people starve but it seems to me that the government is not going to create any new solutions so you must create your own.

I will be facing unemployment myself after June 11th so this isn't just an academic exercise for me either.

[Deleted]

If you have assistance available to you, why wouldn't you use it?

Your OP is maybe intentionally vague but if calling a job to you means just thinking about it and not doing anything, then I don't believe it will work. If you mean more that the power of positive thinking gives you a better outlook and people respond to it better (like interviews) then I can get on board with that.

Where you are in NJ makes a big difference on available jobs and income levels. I would second the vote to get out of that state because it is so expensive. Maybe your positive energy could go towards that? At some point your thinking on work moved away from jobs that would be associated with IT, or from getting extended skills in that area; and jumped over to healthcare. Not sure what went into that, but what field do you want to be in? Are there any additional UE retraining programs that could help you make progress in something more aligned with your interests?

It seems like you isolate yourself and try to handle everything on your own. Maybe it is time to learn to accept help from others.

[Opti]

Jun 2, 2012 12:23:50 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

I believe in safety nets. If you are contemplating signing up for some sort of assistance, take it.

I had a hard time reading your posts too. I don't know what your situation is. Can you break it down a little more for us?

At the moment No.

Sorry all, I go from Ferrari fast to near light speed under stress.

[Opti]

Jun 2, 2012 12:36:56 GMT -5 @rockit said:

If you have assistance available to you, why wouldn't you use it?

Your OP is maybe intentionally vague but if calling a job to you means just thinking about it and not doing anything, then I don't believe it will work. If you mean more that the power of positive thinking gives you a better outlook and people respond to it better (like interviews) then I can get on board with that.

Where you are in NJ makes a big difference on available jobs and income levels. I would second the vote to get out of that state because it is so expensive. Maybe your positive energy could go towards that? At some point your thinking on work moved away from jobs that would be associated with IT, or from getting extended skills in that area; and jumped over to healthcare. Not sure what went into that, but what field do you want to be in? Are there any additional UE retraining programs that could help you make progress in something more aligned with your interests?

It seems like you isolate yourself and try to handle everything on your own. Maybe it is time to learn to accept help from others.

Thanks. Most people don't believe me when I say I need help
and many of the rest don't realize all the many things I've tried
when they are attempting to offer help.

My Rehab tech hours have dried up and given it was only $10/hr
and on my feet it is not a viable healthcare job for me even in LCOL Indiana.

[mmhmm]

It would help, I think, Optimist, if we had a little bit more information. I understand the reluctance to over-share on the internet, but there are some things that aren't too invasive, the knowledge of which might give us some assistance in helping you find the right path for yourself.

What's your education? What kind of work are you looking for? When does the unemployment run out? What avenues are open to you if you don't find employment before that time?

As to accepting assistance, if you need it, it's certainly not the wrong thing to do in my opinion. It's the right thing to do. I pay taxes so people who need help can get help, and I'd rather my taxes be used that way than to wage war! People who use assistance programs to get through rough patches, and to better themselves, are right fine in my book!

[Opti]

Jun 2, 2012 12:22:07 GMT -5 cyanne said:

Your message it too vague for the literal types that inhabit this board. I admit that I had a bit of difficulty with it too and I was raised by musicians.

That being said I think you need to reinvent yourself. You seem to have a creative streak. Look beyond the want ads and become master of your own destiny. What could you do for money on your own? What service could you perform (at least temporarily) to support yourself when unemployment runs out. I don't think that society should let people starve but it seems to me that the government is not going to create any new solutions so you must create your own.

I will be facing unemployment myself after June 11th so this isn't just an academic exercise for me either.

Thanks I am a musician too. Piano, Cello, Voice, and a few others.
Haven't come up with a low level service to offer in pinches like these. For now, I'm continuing my writing which will likely be my big money ticket eventually if things work out but I simultaneously have to look for a well paying enough job, go through the BK process, and possibly move to a lower cost state within two months.

[Mardi Gras Audrey]

Cello? Do you have a cello? At some of the bigger hospitals in our city, they pay musicians to play for a few hours in the waiting room/lobby area. It helps to calm down the people with sick loved ones. Do you have any hospitals nearby that are a little larger? They may pay for your services and you could do it a few hours a day, while sitting in the lobby.

[mmhmm]

If you can figure out a way to get out of NJ, that's probably an excellent step to take, Optimist. High COLAs are a killer when one is facing difficult times, and there are plenty of cheaper places to live. If you could find an affordable place to live, even on a small budget, that's near to a community college, you could work and go to school to learn something that will support you while you pursue your writing talents. I tend to suggest nursing because you can make the same money with a two-year degree as you can with a four-year degree, but not everyone is cut out to do it. Still, there are other choices for re-education that will increase your chances of finding employment.

[Deleted]

Are people trying to "save you" from BK? That's just a financial decision pure & simple. Take the emotion out of it and it is a no brainer.

There is a lot you could share here IF you want other perspectives, but you will get a ton of feedback and it might make your head implode. It seems like you are a nice person that has had to deal with a couple years of total financial crap and can't figure out how you come out on top. If you want a lot of things to consider, spill the whole story. You'll get LOTS of opinions, some good and some you just need to ignore. Maybe that will help you forge a path forward!! You will get called out if you keep putting up roadblocks as to why you can't do things . . . but you will either argue your points, or realize that you are in a self-defeating mode.

Mostly I'd be worried about what the Post-BK plan looks like. You are in a really HCOLA in a horribly low paid job & one of those two factors must change for you to attain success going forward. Maybe moving to a LCOLA and TRULY focusing on the writing as one of two jobs would help you move forward.

Wishing you the best & I hope you will decide to share more so you can get your own thoughts organized!!!

PS - did you mean that you are having an extensional or existential crisis? Money Related vs Personal Path - I couldn't figure it out

[Deleted]

PPS - I think I mentioned some time ago that you should touch base with Savoir Faire about IT jobs in NY/NJ area. He's very knowledgeable about skills & market in that area. You should PM him if you want to get back into IT in that market area. He gave me good insight on certifications and which you could achieve with self study.

Also if you want to move, do you have any skills in child care? Live In Nanny positions are available all over the country & getting selected for one of those jobs gets you to a new location with room & board included + some pay. You'd have to ditch possessions & car, but maybe it is time for a total fresh start and that is one way to go.

[mmhmm]

I hadn't thought about the live-in nanny positions, Rock It. Some of those are outstanding. I have a good friend whose daughter is a nanny in NYC, and she loves it.

[weltschmerz]

Jun 2, 2012 13:35:44 GMT -5 Mardi Gras Audrey said:

Cello? Do you have a cello? At some of the bigger hospitals in our city, they pay musicians to play for a few hours in the waiting room/lobby area. It helps to calm down the people with sick loved ones. Do you have any hospitals nearby that are a little larger? They may pay for your services and you could do it a few hours a day, while sitting in the lobby.

I don't know about there, but nursing homes here hire musicians for music/recreational therapy.
A few gigs a day, and some do quite well. Some have even risen to fame, play at the Jazz Fest and Place des Arts, but still play at the homes from time to time. They love it.

[maryjane]

Optimist, yes you are worthy of help. Your racing thoughts might be part of an existential crisis, or they might be caused by other physiological factors. I would like to gently suggest you get the physiological causes rules out. Here is a link to screening centers in NJ counties that can help with that: nj.gov/humanservices/dmhs/services/centers/index.html

As far as practical suggestions, I don't really have any because I am really too worried about your overall well being. As far as your other questions, no, I not think I can assess your worth based on your finances. I think we are all equally valuable even thought we are not equally able to do things like be kind, make money, take care of plants, solve complex math equations, etc...

You are valuable. I am sorry.

[mmhmm]

Yes, welts, nursing homes here often use musicians to entertain their residents. I imagine it's a pretty nice gig, since you'd have an appreciative audience.

[busymom]

Optimist, you are a keeper. There is no shame in accepting help from family, friends or the government when you're in a jam. Being a single person with no one else to rely on makes it tougher...

I have to agree with the others that moving to a lower cost part of the country may be part of the answer. I don't know your age either, but I know the job market is nasty & ugly right now for those who are over 40. For my out-of-work friends, they've taken a variety of ways to make money while looking for a "real" job. One cleans houses, another has started doing daycare, a third is doing house-sitting. There is no shame in scraping together a job, or several, to pay bills.

The health issues you're having could be stress-related, but eventually you'll have to get that checked out. Could you go to your county to find out if you could get some assistance there?

Wishing you the best! Hang in there!!!

[Peace Of Mind]

Optimist, you are worthy and if you need assistance get on it asap. I do know your story and I do know you have been trying and have other "road blocks" that make it harder for you, but don't ever think you are not worthy. Prayers and blessings that you figure it all out soon before you go down the wrong road of thought.

[Opti]

Jun 2, 2012 14:18:43 GMT -5 @maryjane said:

Optimist, yes you are worthy of help. Your racing thoughts might be part of an existential crisis, or they might be caused by other physiological factors. I would like to gently suggest you get the physiological causes rules out. Here is a link to screening centers in NJ counties that can help with that: nj.gov/humanservices/dmhs/services/centers/index.html

As far as practical suggestions, I don't really have any because I am really too worried about your overall well being. As far as your other questions, no, I not think I can assess your worth based on your finances. I think we are all equally valuable even thought we are not equally able to do things like be kind, make money, take care of plants, solve complex math equations, etc...

You are valuable. I am sorry.

Don't worry I'm not manic or on a unretrieveable edge. I'll try to type less and slower so I don't scare you.

Believe it or not it is most likely the usual combination of lack of sleep caused by stress, allergies, and my ever present friend the sinus infection.

[jarhead1976]

Good luck . Nothing wrong with a hand up. When you least expect it! Opportunity will knock. Optimism always wins the day.

[Opti]

Jun 2, 2012 14:34:05 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Optimist, you are worthy and if you need assistance get on it asap. I do know your story and I do know you have been trying and have other "road blocks" that make it harder for you, but don't ever think you are not worthy. Prayers and blessings that you figure it all out soon before you go down the wrong road of thought.

POM!

[lurkyloo]

Optimist: Have you thought of offering music lessons? Take advantage of your HCOL state: there are likely to be lots of parents who will pay a fairly stiff hourly rate for their snowflakes to learn piano or voice (maybe cello too).

Oh, and It sounds like you're in a rough place right now. I hope you can figure things out.

[resolution]

POM, I missed your earlier posts before you edited them, but I do think you should get whatever assistance you are qualified for. That being said, if you have been looking for work long enough for your unemployment to run out, then I do think it would be a good idea to go to a different area to look for work.

Have you tried signing up with any temp services? My BIL's girlfriend has gotten about 7 jobs in the last year through a temp agency. This last one ended up being a keeper.

[Opti]

Kari, I probably will sign up. I chose not to last year because they all want to have my social security number before they even find me a job. Seems to be getting way too common but I've got so little to take now only a dumb ass crook might even bother.