My Big Fat American Gipsy Wedding

[Deleted]

Ok I cannot fall asleep and have watched like 5 episodes of that show on TLC so far. Where do I start?

First of all as a guy with a sister and possibly a daughter one day this thing that they keep on saying just creeps me out: outsiders are for fun but gypsy girls are for settling down. WTF? No different from the good old days where you would screw the slaves/negroes but only marry the white girl that look like you.

Second: 16-18 is the marriage age and girls are not to work but stay home and keep a clean house. Question: what happen if they divorce or husband dies/becomes disabled? What is the backup plan? (Some get married as young as 14-15)

third: While I don't advocate getting married at 16-18 and having kids, but maybe they have it right. All the parents on the show where in their mid to late 30's and the grandparents in their late 50's early 60's. I mean by my mid 30's my kids will probably be entering kindergaten lol while theirs are leaving home.

Maybe not overthink life and just going fuck it is the way to go at times

And those dresses? WOW! who wants to carry around a 75-100 lbs dress?

[KaraBoo]

And here I thought the title was talking about my brother's wedding in less than 3 weeks.



(I need to watch more cable apparently! )

[Deleted]

May 22, 2012 23:03:19 GMT -5 KaraBoo said:

And here I thought the title was talking about my brother's wedding in less than 3 weeks.



(I need to watch more cable apparently! )

Lol you do but in two weeks I will be giving up cable.

Just watched this one where they got married after knowing each other for a month and met twice before and the one on right now this girl is 14 and looking for a husband.

The grandfather was saying how he did not believe in women working, his wife never had to work a day in her life, his Daugher in law never worked a day in her life and his granddaughter will never have to work a day in her life.

This plan sounds great as long as they remain married, husband always remain gainfully employed and no strategy strucking (death, disability, etc).

[Deleted]

What the heck is an American Gypsy? Explain please!

[reader79]

I love the show, and the original one too. I always wonder what happens to the crazy dresses after they move into the mobile home. If they can't fit into a SUV, does that mean they get rid of them?

And there have been times where I think about how I'm getting kind of old to have a kid if I should ever want one, but then I remember that I can't afford daycare so that feeling goes away.

In the meantime, I have this... www.amazon.com/Blue-Savin-Rich-Husband-Bank/dp/B002JKWU8O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1337759892&sr=8-1

[MarleyKeezy78]

I too watched this show one day and couldn't stop, they had a marathon running. Was my reaction, just WOW!!!



ETA: That Barbie dress was really something! WTE!

[gawgagranny]

Oh my gosh, this show is like a train wreck--you just can't help but watch, even when you know it is going to be a disaster!! As a woman who has been gainfully employed outside the home since about age 14 or so (but who somehow managed to get thru college/pharmacy school, run a home and raise 2 kids, too), I take serious offense to the whole dependency mindset these girls are raised with--but that's their culture & that's all they know.

Personal objections aside, I do find the whole flashy/trashy thing fascinating!! Such mixed messages, though--the girls dress & act so provocatively but are supposed to be so pure....what is up with that?

[Deleted]

May 23, 2012 7:51:42 GMT -5 gawgagranny said:

Personal objections aside, I do find the whole flashy/trashy thing fascinating!! Such mixed messages, though--the girls dress & act so provocatively but are supposed to be so pure....what is up with that?

Talk about mix message lol!

The dressing provocatively is to show off your goods and get a husband in the process. But thee first kiss is not till the wedding night and girls are left in the dark about sex (no sex Ed) because they have to learn from their husband which in turn get his lesson by using "outsider girls" or is as clueless as her.

[gawgagranny]

Oh well, to borrow an old saying, "Ignorance is Bliss...."

[pinkbow832]

I was really curious about the cost of their dresses after watching last weekend. I did a little research and found out that the wedding dresses cost (on average) $5k- $10k+, depending on what the family feels like spending when they call in the order. $10,000 for a wedding dress!!!!!!!!!! $10,000 for a wedding dress that looks like something a hooker would wear!!!

They are really sparkly though, which is apparently where the bulk of the cost comes from.

[NancysSummerSip]

I love this show, and really love the original from England. Yes, it's a lot of trash and flash, but the original British show also includes some very interesting social commentary. Gypsies or travellers in the British Isles tend to be very transient, and as they move from place to place throughout Great Britain, they meet with a lot of hostility and mistrust. The men often cannot get hired with employers find out their background. Hotels and restaurants don't want to host their parties when they find out their background. Many established campgrounds don't want them. Hospitals and health care facilities won't treat them. A number of their semi-permanent settlements have been taken over by local authorities and have involved forcible evictions.

[Deleted]

May 23, 2012 8:16:05 GMT -5 gawgagranny said:

Oh well, to borrow an old saying, "Ignorance is Bliss...."

LMAO ;D ;D

That is the exact saying they used las night on one of the episodes I watched. It went like: in gypsy culture, when it comes to sex... Ignorance is bliss for the girls.

Their own mothers/grandmothers never talk to them about it fearing it might make them curious. They need to find out from their husband and one of the young man said: if your wife is showing you tricks or how to do certain things you got problems.

I don't know about that, I was my wife first and she still showed me a few tricks since after all she is the one on the receiving end and knows what works best and what doesn't work for her.

[NancysSummerSip]

www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8325797/Big-Fat-Gypsy-Weddings-ten-facts-about-Gypsies-and-Travellers.html

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanichal

Some background information on Gypsy culture.

[Deleted]

May 23, 2012 8:41:13 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

May 23, 2012 8:16:05 GMT -5 gawgagranny said:

Oh well, to borrow an old saying, "Ignorance is Bliss...."

LMAO ;D ;D

That is the exact saying they used las night on one of the episodes I watched. It went like: in gypsy culture, when it comes to sex... Ignorance is bliss for the girls.

Their own mothers/grandmothers never talk to them about it fearing it might make them curious. They need to find out from their husband and one of the young man said: if your wife is showing you tricks or how to do certain things you got problems.

I don't know about that, I was my wife first and she still showed me a few tricks since after all she is the one on the receiving end and knows what works best and what doesn't work for her.

of course they don't want the women to learn anything about sex - then they can tell their wives that it's normal for their husbands to plow them for 2 minutes and roll over without addressing their needs.

[emma1420]

May 23, 2012 8:41:12 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

I love this show, and really love the original from England. Yes, it's a lot of trash and flash, but the original British show also includes some very interesting social commentary. Gypsies or travellers in the British Isles tend to be very transient, and as they move from place to place throughout Great Britain, they meet with a lot of hostility and mistrust. The men often cannot get hired with employers find out their background. Hotels and restaurants don't want to host their parties when they find out their background. Many established campgrounds don't want them. Hospitals and health care facilities won't treat them. A number of their semi-permanent settlements have been taken over by local authorities and have involved forcible evictions.

The British version seems to be about another culture. One that is very different than the way most people live. I don't get the American version. There don't seem to be any major cultural differences between an American "gypsy" and any other American. And I do think that there are real gypsy's in this country, but I'm betting that they don't live in houses and aren't being featured on that show.

[CarolinaKat]

The 'Gypsy's' that I know (yes I do know some) own a gravel company and are pretty damn kooky.... one is named Tarzan and drives a pink and purple -truck and they have large wild family celebrations. They don't restrict women from working/education, but they do marry young and have deep respect for their culture/traditions even though they aren't as strict as the ones on TV. They are also fairly transient, but have a 'home base'

[NancysSummerSip]

Emma, the American version does seem to be very, well, "Americanized," for lack of a better word. I agree with you that there are cultural differences between the European and American gypsies. In an old collection of stories (they originally ran as columns in the old New Yorker magazine), writer Joseph Mitchell did several pieces on gypsies in the 1930s and 1940s. His work was done in conjunction with several NYPD officers he knew from his beat. And in America at that time, the opposite seemed to be true when it came to who worked: the women worked (mainly as fortune tellers and running tea shops) and the men rarely did, unless you count things like petty theft as work. And as Carolina mentioned, they did travel, but also had a home base, particularly for the winter months when road travel back then was far more difficult.

The book is one I own, and it's called Up In The Old Hotel. Mitchell died several years ago, and the book is available from Amazon and Random House Digital.

[Colleenz]

I did a little research and found out that the wedding dresses cost (on average) $5k- $10k+,

That actually sounds reasonable for the complexity of those dresses. I thought they would be a lot more. (Not that I am advocating spending that on a wedding dress).

[weltschmerz]

While I don't advocate getting married at 16-18 and having kids, but maybe they have it right.
---------------------
Right? There's nothing right about a young woman being confined in a culture of dependence, trapped in an ideology of illiteracy and housework, subject to the whims of a drunken lout of a husband and having absolutely no recourse if she's abused or unhappy.
No wonder the highlight of her life is a wedding. It's all downhill from there.

[sheilaincali]

They have mentioned on the show before that physical abuse is pretty common in their culture. The girls frequently say that want a man thats "hard working and won't get drunk and beat them" Divorce is very uncommon.

[amishgal]

Gah, I got sucked into this last night too when I couldn't sleep. At first I thought it was Jersey Shore since all the boys have that haircut! I just couldn't believe the father of the 14/15 year old saying, I hope she doesn't run off, if we can keep her from getting married until she's 17 or 18 we've done good. WTF?!

[weltschmerz]

Gypsies or travellers in the British Isles tend to be very transient, and as they move from place to place throughout Great Britain, they meet with a lot of hostility and mistrust.
---------------------------
It's little wonder that this happens. I've spoken to several people on the UK boards who told me they dread it when gypsies set up camp in their neighbourhoods. Everything metal that isn't nailed down disappears. People have to store everything from patio furniture to bicycles indoors because these things mysteriously vanish. Even the stuff that IS nailed down disappears. Copper from church roofs and metal crosses from cemetaries.
I guess things haven't changed that much since my mother was a little girl in Russia. A gypsy would come to your front door to sell you trinkets, while the rest of the clan would go round the back and clean out your larder, taking all the food you stored for the winter. And your goat.

[Deleted]

May 23, 2012 10:30:29 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

They have mentioned on the show before that physical abuse is pretty common in their culture. The girls frequently say that want a man thats "hard working and won't get drunk and beat them" Divorce is very uncommon.

They mentioned it last night too; one of the girls was saying how their man are known for being raging bulls and she said it as if it was natural.

Her mom pulled her future husband aside to ask him about his iterations and not beating her daughter. I was like are you kidding me? A mother have to ask for the guy not to beat their daughter?

I guess when it is the norm in your culture/surroundings it becomes your normal and you just accept it.

[michelyn8]

A couple of weeks ago one my daughter's friends posted on FB about an episode taking place in my hometown. I was surprised to hear that there were gypsies living there and am still trying to figure out what part of town would put up with them. There are no mobile homes or trailer parks in that town so they'd have to be in one of the apartment complexes or own/rent houses.

[happyhoix]

I haven't watched the American version. I saw a few episodes of the UK version and the one thing that stuck in my mind was that they think it's disgusting to have toilets in their mobile homes. They all go outside to do their business. (I didn't see if they had outhouses - surely they wouldn't just crap in a field?)

Actually there were two things - the oldest girls drop out of school very early on and stay home to take care of all the younger siblings. Boys seem to have almost no chores, girls spend all day cleaning the mobile home and looking after siblings. When they become teens the boys move out into 'bachelor' trailers (they still don't clean them themselves - their moms or sisters do) but the best the girls can hope for is to find a guy to marry who can buy them their own trailer to clean, so they can start having a litter of their own kids.

Clearly I would not have made a good gypsy bride.

[sheilaincali]

On the British version there is one girl they show from time to time that works for a cake maker. The girl is unusual for a Gypsy because she has a job. She took a group of her friends to play paint ball for her birthday and it was drama getting their waivers filled out and signed. Several of the kids (16 to 20 year olds) couldn't read to fill out the paperwork. She had to fill out most of them for her friends and have them sign them. It was really pretty sad.

[Deleted]

Is it possible that reality TV is not that real?

[NancysSummerSip]

they think it's disgusting to have toilets in their mobile homes. They all go outside to do their business.

No washers, dryers or showers in the homes, either. Those are all in blockhouses outside the living quarters. Seems odd to us "settlers" (the name they give those of us who live in one place), but they don't deal with any dirty clothes or bodily functions inside their home.

[Deleted]

On the issue of kids, I am glad I came down on the younger side. Granted, I had graduated from college at age 20 and worked two years. I probably would have worked through my pregnancy and gone back afterwards, but it was "legal" to fire women for being pregnant in 1976-77. I did get unemployment then . . . because no one wanted to HIRE an obviously pregnant teacher.

But I was glad I had my first child at 23 and my second at 25. That wasn't too young (teen mom) or too old (thirty mom). That also meant that when I was in my mid-forties, my kids were grown. That is, ironically, when I finally got the divorce I had wanted for years.

But my kids are like you guys. My daughter is 35 and has a 5 year-old, a 3 year-old, and a 1 year-old. My son is 33 and has a 7 year-old, a 5 year-old, and a two-month old. So they will be in their mid-fifties when their kids are grown.

I guess every decade really is the new <whatever decade before them>.

[happyhoix]

"But I was glad I had my first child at 23 and my second at 25. That wasn't too young (teen mom) or too old (thirty mom). That also meant that when I was in my mid-forties, my kids were grown. That is, ironically, when I finally got the divorce I had wanted for years."

I agree, DH and I had DS when I was 28 and DH was 32. DS just graduated college two weeks ago and is launched (got a good job) so now DH and I have from now until retirement to try to sock away as much extra cash as possible. My last boss, on the other hand, is two years younger than me and has two small girls, one in elementary school and one who just graduated from day care this week. He'll be 72 when they graduate from college. This wouldn't be so bad if he actually saved any money, but he's the kind that spends everything he earns. He jokes that he has to stay in good health because he doesn't think he can retire until he's at least 75.

I'd hate to be in that boat - but it's his own making. He could be putting aside money for college now, like most other parents do.