The J
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Post by The J on Jan 19, 2011 14:07:49 GMT -5
I can't even imagine how horrible that all must've been. I just don't understand cheating...just be single. Then you can screw whoever you want, whenever you want. I was already pretty messed up from the whole postponing the wedding thing, so this just made it worse. Supposedly, her "motivation" was to make the breakup easier on me to accept. Talk about a load of bullshit.
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Regie
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Post by Regie on Jan 19, 2011 14:22:55 GMT -5
"I found some of your panties in my drawer" "Not mine" need I say more.
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Jan 19, 2011 14:23:32 GMT -5
J Why was the BULLSHIT possible...without your permission???
You may not be able to answer this now but it is something to think about.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Jan 19, 2011 14:27:10 GMT -5
J, that sucks! And she sounds like a creep.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 19, 2011 14:27:14 GMT -5
How about her car parked behind the shed where you wouldn't see it if you pulled up and a bag of her clothes in his room??
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 19, 2011 14:28:36 GMT -5
J Why was the BULLSHIT possible...without your permission??? You may not be able to answer this now but it is something to think about. Huh?! He's not supposed to "let" her go away for a weekend with her friends.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Jan 19, 2011 14:29:17 GMT -5
Deb, I am doubting J gave her permission to cheat. Not everyone wants to spend their life snooping on their significant other to see if they can find clues. Honestly, if you think they are cheating and keep looking for clues, you will start to find all kinds of things that you think are clues, when they are really not.
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 19, 2011 14:34:44 GMT -5
J Why was the BULLSHIT possible...without your permission??? You may not be able to answer this now but it is something to think about. My permission? She had said she was going to be hanging out with one of her good friends. What am I supposed to do? Say no? Chain her to wall? She was my fiancee, not my property. If I couldn't trust her, then there'd be no reason to stay with her anyway.
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Befferz
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Post by Befferz on Jan 19, 2011 14:35:02 GMT -5
J Why was the BULLSHIT possible...without your permission??? You may not be able to answer this now but it is something to think about. Um, this doesn't even make sense... By definition, cheating is without permission.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 19, 2011 14:37:15 GMT -5
Deb, I am doubting J gave her permission to cheat. Not everyone wants to spend their life snooping on their significant other to see if they can find clues. Honestly, if you think they are cheating and keep looking for clues, you will start to find all kinds of things that you think are clues, when they are really not. Is a 3some considered cheating, 'cause I'm sure he would have given permission for that...........
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 19, 2011 14:38:32 GMT -5
Deb, I am doubting J gave her permission to cheat. Not everyone wants to spend their life snooping on their significant other to see if they can find clues. Honestly, if you think they are cheating and keep looking for clues, you will start to find all kinds of things that you think are clues, when they are really not. Is a 3some considered cheating, 'cause I'm sure he would have given permission for that........... So he'd have gone for 2 guys and a girl?! SWEET!! Hey J!! How YOU doin'
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Jan 19, 2011 14:39:07 GMT -5
True or False before J is shown 'not his condoms on her' that were not his , there were .... clues
as bottom line to dissolve their relationship IF that is what J wanted to do,
Some relationships can be salvaged...
{idea for another thread}
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Jan 19, 2011 14:40:59 GMT -5
::So he'd have gone for 2 guys and a girl?! SWEET!!::
LMAO!
Deb, is your post in English? It's like I should recognize the words, but the way you have strung them together makes no sense.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 19, 2011 14:41:20 GMT -5
True or False before J is shown 'not his condoms on her' that were not his , there were .... clues as bottom line to dissolve their relationship IF that is what J wanted to do, Some relationships can be salvaged... {idea for another thread} Looks like SHE is the one that wanted to dissolve the relationship, but was too much of a pansy ass to do it and had to be passive aggressive about it. And sometimes clues are only clues in hindsight.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 19, 2011 14:41:48 GMT -5
::So he'd have gone for 2 guys and a girl?! SWEET!!:: LMAO! Deb, is your post in English? It's like I should recognize the words, but the way you have strung them together makes no sense. I thought I was just having reading comprehension problems.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jan 19, 2011 14:41:57 GMT -5
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 19, 2011 14:43:44 GMT -5
::So he'd have gone for 2 guys and a girl?! SWEET!!:: LMAO! Deb, is your post in English? It's like I should recognize the words, but the way you have strung them together makes no sense. I thought I was just having reading comprehension problems. Me too!!
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Befferz
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Post by Befferz on Jan 19, 2011 14:44:27 GMT -5
True or False before J is shown 'not his condoms on her' that were not his , there were .... clues as bottom line to dissolve their relationship IF that is what J wanted to do, Some relationships can be salvaged... {idea for another thread} This doesn't make sense either. But I think you're asking if there were other clues that the relationship wasn't all it was cracked up to be before J found the condoms. I have no idea what the answer is to that. But either way, it doesn't mean he gave her permission to cheat. Even if he treated her like shit (and I'm sure he didn't, but just hypothetically speaking), that's still not permission to cheat.
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Post by jennml on Jan 19, 2011 14:44:35 GMT -5
Supposedly, her "motivation" was to make the breakup easier on me to accept. Talk about a load of bullshit. ...and BS like this is why crimes of passion exist...
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Jan 19, 2011 14:45:31 GMT -5
J gave her 'permission' FOR HIM to be treated that way and cannot see how it happened.,,in his subconscious otherwise he would have stopped it.
There are subtle clues....
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 19, 2011 14:47:56 GMT -5
I'm not crossing swords.....
False. I already said that. I didn't monitor her email or texting or facebook messages or anything like that, so I had no idea that she was talking to someone else.
I wanted to get married. I was completely blindsided by her breaking up with me.
Once the trust is gone, I don't see a reason to do so. Besides, she wanted out.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Jan 19, 2011 14:48:00 GMT -5
There are subtle clues that some people should be on medication, too.
I've also found a subtle clue that you should retake middle school English.
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Befferz
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Post by Befferz on Jan 19, 2011 14:48:20 GMT -5
J gave her 'permission' FOR HIM to be treated that way and cannot see how it happened.,,in his subcontinents otherwise he would have stopped it. There are subtle clues.... Sometimes that's true, and sometimes it's not. Go back and read the threads about sociopaths. They don't need permission to do the things they do. Not saying J's ex was a sociopath; that was just an example. Human nature does not fit into blanket statements like that.
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Befferz
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Post by Befferz on Jan 19, 2011 14:48:59 GMT -5
There are subtle clues that some people should be on medication, too. I've also found a subtle clue that you should retake middle school English.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 19, 2011 14:49:32 GMT -5
J gave her 'permission' FOR HIM to be treated that way and cannot see how it happened.,,in his subconscious otherwise he would have stopped it. There are subtle clues.... And you're spewing a load of horseshit.
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 19, 2011 14:49:59 GMT -5
J gave her 'permission' FOR HIM to be treated that way and cannot see how it happened.,,in his subconscious otherwise he would have stopped it. There are subtle clues.... Stopped what? Her first overt act was telling me that we should push back the date of the wedding. That was on a Sunday. Wednesday she went to spend time with her "friend". Thursday morning I found the condoms. Thursday evening our relationship was over.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 19, 2011 14:50:13 GMT -5
Damn! How about some sword swallowing tricks?
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Post by jennml on Jan 19, 2011 14:50:45 GMT -5
ummm...do you mean "in his subconscious"? From what he's said on this thread, I don't see how you can assume that...now if he'd stayed with her and not confronted her after the finding of the condoms and the FB/password blocking then yeah he'd have been giving tacit permission to get screwed. According to him, there were no other indicators prior to the condoms except for her postponing the wedding, which could be explained away in many different ways besides she wants to cheat.
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 19, 2011 14:51:59 GMT -5
Damn! How about some sword swallowing tricks? You can swallow my sword anytime...... As long as there are strict guidelines about who gets what entryway, and clear communication before any shifting happens, I suppose if the chick is hot enough........
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 19, 2011 14:52:50 GMT -5
Damn! How about some sword swallowing tricks? You can swallow my sword anytime...... As long as there are strict guidelines about who gets what entryway, and clear communication before any shifting happens, I suppose if the chick is hot enough........ Awww, you do love me!!
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