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Post by babble on Nov 23, 2011 12:30:48 GMT -5
I don't need a man for any financial reason. If at some point current BF and I decided to cohabitate, he'll move into my house, and that will reduce my expenses and his as well, so we'll both have more money to accomplish other goals and have more fun. That's my situation too. But, according to the other posters, it will cost more if your BF moves in. Your utilities will double in cost, your mortgage will increase 2+, your lawn will grow twice as fast, it will snow twice as much, etc.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Nov 23, 2011 13:06:25 GMT -5
I don't need a man for any financial reason. If at some point current BF and I decided to cohabitate, he'll move into my house, and that will reduce my expenses and his as well, so we'll both have more money to accomplish other goals and have more fun. That's my situation too. But, according to the other posters, it will cost more if your BF moves in. Your utilities will double in cost, your mortgage will increase 2+, your lawn will grow twice as fast, it will snow twice as much, etc. actually some posters, such as myself, were explaining that their specific situation as a single person is DIFFERENT than yours, therefore their expenses went WAY up when their situation changed. do you live in a one bed room 500sq ft apartment with barely enough space for yourself and your things? and will you share said space with another person? your original post was just so generalized and doesn't account for a million different factors that could come into play... like maybe a couple has a combined income that is equal to or lower than YOUR income as a single. now do you feel like you're carrying more of a burden than someone that is married?
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Post by bluecluessubtlety on Nov 23, 2011 14:07:33 GMT -5
Are there any threads about women that live alone? How do you like making the mortgage/rent payment with only your income? How about the dreaded property tax bill? Everything is your responsibility. No sharing expenses here. Couples don't realize that your mortgage or utilities are not 1/2 of theirs because you live alone. I work a couple of extra jobs just to have some fun money. When I hear friends complain about money or their husband's spending habits, I would like to see them living on their own. A lot of them could not live on their own. Do you think they realize that? Sometime they tell me I am lucky. Bah! I still don't understand the point of the OP. Was it wistfully wishing for a partner to share with? Putting down couples because they don't know how good they have it? Just a random thought? As to the end of the post, I was part of a couple. And I complained about my ex's spending. You would like to see me living on my own? Well I am. And doing much better financially than I was as part of a couple. And FTR, yes my rent is about half what the mortgage was. He had very expensive tastes. We didn't need the size house we had (that he kept). I rent a very large 3BR for DS and I and it's still half of what I had as a couple. So is the electricity. No gas now. And water/sewer is half. And food is less than half for 2/3 the people.
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dividend
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Post by dividend on Nov 24, 2011 19:47:01 GMT -5
do you live in a one bed room 500sq ft apartment with barely enough space for yourself and your things? and will you share said space with another person? your original post was just so generalized and doesn't account for a million different factors that could come into play... like maybe a couple has a combined income that is equal to or lower than YOUR income as a single. now do you feel like you're carrying more of a burden than someone that is married? I'm not sure I understand your question. I do know that around here, in general, mortgages for starter sized homes (2BR + 1.5 bath) can be cheaper than 2 individual apartments, and cooking / drinking at home is much cheaper than eating /drinking out all the time. So in a lot of situations, both people save on housing costs. I've seen that happen for several of my friends. I'm not sure what combined income has to do with whether a couple would save money living together or not, or what that has to do with being married. Maybe that's because I've been saving and planning to buy my own house regardless of my relationship status, so for me it's not something that is happening because I want more space for us as a couple. I did qualify my original statement by saying that financial responsibility has always been important to me in a partner, so YMMV, I guess.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 24, 2011 21:06:34 GMT -5
I answered as a single woman. I find it easier to handle this stuff single than when I was coupled. I don't have to negotiate with anyone about what our priorities are. And I make more money now than I did then so expenses are not difficult.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Nov 24, 2011 21:49:12 GMT -5
I purchased my first home as a single woman. I don't really see what the big deal is, lots of single people make it on their own.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 24, 2011 22:37:12 GMT -5
There are tradeoffs in both directions. Single, you don't have a second person to help carry the weight when you falter - but you also don't have to run decisions by someone else or compromise on what you want. I think it evens out in the end.
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bring in the new year
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Post by bring in the new year on Nov 25, 2011 15:56:15 GMT -5
I think it also comes under the grass is always greener for some people. I inherited the first house so can't really say if I could or could not have bought my own home. But I've been supporting a house and a car since I was 22 without any other person contributing. I don't worry that I can't make the bills. I've made the bills even when money was tight (thanks to having always had a ef.) In some ways, I think I have less to worry about then a married couple. If I screw up, it's just me. I'm not responsible for putting my husband and kids on the street because I effed up. And I never assumed there would be another source of income when I went into a house or I bought a car. I assumed when I meet someone, we'd figure out what we needed once we were married and until then, we'd stay responsible for our own stuff. Frankly, at this age, I doubt I'd ever be comfortable with someone else supporting me. What I want in a partner is a PARTNER. Someone to do stuff with and someone to moan to and someone - well, I've got a long list of things that can only be done with another person. I want the company more than the finances. When it comes down to it, I don't think single is a separate category of saving. There's stuff singles can save on and stuff they can't. It doesn't make sense for me to buy the huge cans of fruit - they'll go bad before I get halfway through it. But I can certainly buy the big turkeys and then freeze what I don't need. But there's great last minute tickets to concerts and most of those tend to be single seats. If I have to budget for something, I only have to budget for myself. Most of the tips on here I think are just as useful for singles as well as couples.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Nov 27, 2011 16:17:56 GMT -5
I'm not sure I understand your question. I do know that around here, in general, mortgages for starter sized homes (2BR + 1.5 bath) can be cheaper than 2 individual apartments, and cooking / drinking at home is much cheaper than eating /drinking out all the time. So in a lot of situations, both people save on housing costs. I've seen that happen for several of my friends. I'm not sure what combined income has to do with whether a couple would save money living together or not, or what that has to do with being married. Maybe that's because I've been saving and planning to buy my own house regardless of my relationship status, so for me it's not something that is happening because I want more space for us as a couple. I did qualify my original statement by saying that financial responsibility has always been important to me in a partner, so YMMV, I guess. The OP was stating that couples have it easier. which, is such a general statement that it can't possibly be true for everyone. i was just asking if she'd feel the same about a couple who had a combined salary equal to what she made as a single person. would she feel that the couple still had it easier than she has it? there are a million different factors so, to make such a general statement just doesn't hold much water. I know it's entirely possible to save money by co-habitating. but i also know that it's also possible to actually have it go the other way going from a single to cohabitating, while keeping the same basic standard of living. it's interesting to me to see the different comments on everyone's situation, but i don't think the OP was really interested in anything that wasn't in perfect alignment with her opinion.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Nov 27, 2011 16:24:56 GMT -5
There are tradeoffs in both directions. Single, you don't have a second person to help carry the weight when you falter - but you also don't have to run decisions by someone else or compromise on what you want. I think it evens out in the end. exactly, i lived on my own for 10 years before moving in with DH... the thing that i liked about being on my own, is that if something happened... i only had to worry about ME. if i lost my job or had something happen to my housing situation (which it did happen once, the place i was renting got sold and i had to find a place to live ASAP, and only needing housing for 7 months as i was planning to move. easier to rent a room from a friend as a single, than as a couple) the only one who was put out was ME, not a hubs or a kid or anything like that. on the flip side, now that i'm married, it's also nice to know that there's something there to fall back on if something does happen. unfortunately DH and i are not at a point where we could live off of one income, but that's our ultimate goal.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Nov 29, 2011 8:33:46 GMT -5
I don't need a man for any financial reason. If at some point current BF and I decided to cohabitate, he'll move into my house, and that will reduce my expenses and his as well, so we'll both have more money to accomplish other goals and have more fun. That's my situation too. But, according to the other posters, it will cost more if your BF moves in. Your utilities will double in cost, your mortgage will increase 2+, your lawn will grow twice as fast, it will snow twice as much, etc. I do not think anyone was saying any of those things. I lived on my own for 12 years before marrying DH. In that time, yes I had to make certain life choices based on my situation. I did not order lunch every day like some people, I could not shop until I dropped, etc. But I knew how to live within my means, so that I could trade off some of those things for things that I considered more important - like the size and location of my home. Any lifestyle change like getting married or even just adding a roommate though come with some sort of financial adjustments. And IMO, COUPLES living together is a whole new set of financial headaches. For example, this year we purchased a new bedroom suite. On our own, we had both had cheap, hand-me-down stuff that suited our needs. But married, we were looking for something that would outlive us. Ended up spending $3,300 on a beautiful Amish-built suite. Eventually roommate situations could go that same route too. Who is responsible for replacing shared furniture for example? Do you share common household stuff, like towels?
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aliciar6
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Post by aliciar6 on Nov 29, 2011 12:42:25 GMT -5
it was much cheaper living alone. When XH moved in after we got married, it cost me more, and it didn't cost him a thing. I should have started making him pay 1/3 of everything back then but I was too nice and felt bad because i made so much more, i'd been on my own and supporting myself for years and he never had to do that. Prior to him moving in, I lived with out a TV, cable, internet, I could live on $150 a month for groceries and wasn't having to buy all kinds of stupid stuff all the time. He had to have a boat so he could go bass fishing and becaues he got the boat he needed a new truck that could pull it. We never combined incomes, so i have no idea where his money was going, but it wasn't to the household. He also wasn't helping out around the apartment either. He really did nothing but go to work, wolf down dinner in 5 minutes then park it in front of the TV all night. The AC always had to be blasting in the summer...i went from a $19 electric bill to one in the $70's or higher.
Then I made the stupider decision to agree to buying a house to make him happy because the apartment wasn't good enough for him, he considered it ghetto (and it wasn't at all). Now I am stuck with the house and paying the full mortgage, taxes etc, and I don't even live there, since i moved in with my bf. thankfully, I can afford all my bills and still have money to put away and spend...it will get better when I can rent out the house since at the moment selling isn't an option. the best 10K I ever spent was getting rid of him.
so it depends on who you are with and how you split things up.
things may be different the next time around since I'm with a guy who has his own house (almost paid off), similiar goals, we are on the same page money wise, we make close to the same salary and we actually function like a couple should.
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