TUES 1/11 QUESTION: Ever been desperately broke?

[pepperdoo]

I started reading Smart Spending, and that's how I found out about the Brown Bag Challenge. We cut our variable expenses by 75%, and went on a strict budget and ended up paying off over $27,000.00 in debt, including both vehicles.

[Deleted]

Yes. Thank God for generous parents, I was never in serious danger of starving or being homeless. But the situation embarrassed me enough to get better educated and change some self destructive habits. I have always worked but there were some pretty low paying jobs for a few years and when I made good money waitressing I drank it. So I stopped drinking, went back to school, got into a new line of work and started entry level and continuously getting promotions. It was a slow and steady thing for me.

[Deleted]

never. i am too boring to go broke.

[dancinmama]

Yes, when DH and I were in college we were constantly scraping by to make ends meet. We were both working our way through with no student loans to speak of.

After we graduated and got entry level professional jobs, we no longer lived on the edge, but we continued to live like poor, starving students for quite a while so that we could save the down payment for our first home and a sizable EF.

[rumples]

Broke? Yes. Desperately? I don't think so.

I've never been in danger of being homeless nor have I had phone or utilities cut off. Early on in my work life, though, I do recall not going anywhere because I only had enough gas in the car to get to/from work and eating some really strange meals because I was limited to what was in the cupboards - which usually wasn't much.

[vnot]

Broke? Definitely. I remember scrounging for change to pay the rent when I was in college.

Changes I made? Dumped the bf who would rather sit home and play WoW than get a second job and let me work the three jobs while I was going to school fulltime. That was a pivotal point in my life where I realized that this was not the life I wanted. It's still a work in progress but I don't worry about paying rent or my bills any more. Now I can focus on me and the consequences of my own choices w/o someone else adding on to the burden. I'm not where I want to be financially yet but I'm also not broke.

[NancysSummerSip]

Desperate as a result of stupidly broke, yes.

I take all the responsibility for it. Granted, I learned nothing from my folks about solid money management, but I don't blame them. I was an adult when I got into trouble, and an adult when I wised up and got out.

I found the boards a few years back. Paid off $10,000 in debt, started and EF, stockpiled food and non-food items, started a second income stream, learned to coupon and shop sales, started an HSA and a "someday fund" for when I blow my cubicle into little tiny pieces and walk away from it. ;D

[NancysSummerSip]

Thanks, Insurance.....how have you been? I know you were at the brink, but you have really been sounding good these last few months. I think you are a great example of how not to give up and give in to despair, but rather to pick it up and fight back, even when it hurts.

[NancysSummerSip]

Actually, yes.

I write a frugal living column, and although it is it localized to my neighborhood, I do include non-local information. I would be interested in mentioning your story (no real names used).

[museumgal]

Oh yes when we were both in grad school DH and I were making a combined $10,000/yr. Graduating mostly solved it, even if we were temping for the first year or so, being available for full time work made the difference.

[NancysSummerSip]

The link to my column is on the Smart Spending Resource Thread.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Broke? Yes.
Desperately? No.

A few years after graduating from law school, I found myself laid off and forced to take a lower-paying job that paid 25% less than the job I had. I turned to credit cards to make up the gap. The next thing I knew, I was looking at $15,000 in credit card debt ... plus scary-high student loans, a condo mortgage, and a car payment. It took me about 4 years and consumer credit counseling to pay off the credit cards, and by then I was able to refine the condo mortgage and the car (lower rates for both) and to begin to appreciate the concept of living within my means.

Then in 2002 I got engaged to my wonderful DH (who has always been debt-free) and, as an engagement present, he paid off my car loan and my student loans ~ a $75,000 gift ~ because he wanted us to begin married life "debt free." And we did.... at least until we bought our house in 2003 when we got married.

[bobbysgirl]

Gee wiz, MOLLY. What a sweet story. I like it.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

He's a keeper

[tiredboomer]

Yes, due to a year's joblessness. We even had to move in with a relative during that time. When we both got jobs we moved into a rental and began a life of extreme frugality. Over time we got better jobs and bought and paid off a home. We have two paid-for autos, a six month stockpile of groceries, and a fat retirement account. While I would hate to go through the first couple of those years again, we learned some very valuable lessons.

[Agatha]

Yes. Once many years ago I suppose one could say I was homeless for a day. But that had more to do with emotional and hormonal overload than lack of ability to live within my means. Long story.

Then there was the week I had before I got a paycheck, scrounging and counting up every penny I could find. Whoopee! Twelve whole dollars! Yes, with that generous amount I went grocery-shopping and fed myself until I got that paycheck. Someone close to me said they wished they had known I was so broke and fussed something terrible. But, hey! I did it! Guess I just have this stubborn streak about being independent.

[sidney]

About 5 years ago dh and I were in no debt other than our mortgage. Fast forward a few years and we are in debt up to our eyebrows. Combination of bad choices and bad circumstances. Dh had a layoff, he got a job right away but making $12000 less a year. Yikes that hurt. Then dh got Melanoma cancer. Thankfully he's doing good but the medical bills killed us.
We are nowhere even close to being out of debt. We are however looking at things diffrently. Building up an emergency fund. Planning for big expenses that come up. Trying not to add anymore debt.

[Apple]

Very poor, yes. But I don't know if we got to desperate or not.
When DS was born he was 7 weeks preemie, then-husband was laid off work the same day, I had one week of vacation I could use. We were in the hospital a couple hours away from home for two weeks. I missed one week of pay and my spouse's unemployment check was only $80 a week, which they made him repay because they said he "couldn't work" during that time even though he could have (and would have if he had a job--we really needed money). I was back at work the day after DS came home from the hospital because I couldn't afford not to. We did save on day care though--my spouse ended up being laid off for 5 months. He was so lazy about getting a job though that I ended up working at two locations for my employer to get full-time and then some.
The only reason we didn't get buried in medical bills was because I didn't make full-time sooner. I was supposed to get the next promotion to full-time which would have meant benefits, but my boss found out I was pregnant and gave it to a 17 year old coworker instead. Since she was a minor she couldn't use half the equipment, so I ended up doing most of her work on top of mine, but no increased hours and no benefits. We ended up on our state health plan (his work did not offer benefits) for 6 months. DS was born during that time so everything was mostly covered. When my boss realized I wasn't going to spend months at home with the baby, he gave me a full-time position and I was able to get my own insurance. So, that one crappy move on the boss's part probably saved me financially. Other than that, I've always had savings as back up to use when things would have otherwise been desperate. Even at 11 with a paper route my dad made me put money in my savings--at least half of what I earned. By the time I graduated, I had $5000, that covered first/last month's rent, security deposit, etc, and left enough that we made it through that first winter with the baby ok. My near life-long habit of savings is the only thing that has kept me from being desperate, even when poor.

[kimber45]

We have been poor, but never desperate thanks to the IL's. When DS was born we had no insurance, so it took a while to pay for him .

I think now we are doing OK. DH works full-time, has benefits, I work PT, plus we have our gun shop for extra income. The only downside there is we probably buy as much for our personal collection as we sell for profit.

[Frugal Nurse]

I have been broke a few times since quitting my awesome paying job to go back to school to become a nurse (I'm currently an LPN and now I'm going to become an RN in 4 months.. woohoo!)Most recently, I graduated LPN school the first week of May, our upstairs bathroom sprung a leak and damaged our downstairs ceiling pretty badly, and found out 2 weeks later that I was accepted to RN school, which started the day after I got accepted. I had to come up with tuition, $1500 worth of books, and $400 worth of software in a week! It was stressful, and felt desperate at the time (although we would have survived if I didn't get to go to RN school right away), but we made it. Right at that time, we got a check for being part of a class action lawsuit on a former employer for about $1500, found out our House repair was going to be about $2k less than the check the insurance company gave us to fix it, I sold my old photography light kit for $400, he sold his nice speakers in his car for $100, and I found couponing!

[coffeegrl]

Broke? Yes Desperately? Depends on your definition of desperate. Right now I'm hoping I can make it till my student loans come in and I get the difference at the end of January. I'm not going to be out on the street and I have enough food that I will still be able to eat 3 meals a day, but I do worry.

I do have the option of having vacation time at my part time job added onto my paychecks if I need some extra "oomph" to finish out January. I get 60 hours per year. I just wouldn't be able to actually take any time off this summer or anything and get paid for it. But with doing an internship and taking a class this summer, I wouldn't be able to go anywhere, even if I did have money. So I know I do have a small safety net to catch me and hold me up till the end of the month.

[towgirl]

Pretty broke. My worst, actually. Just divorced with 2 kids (about 12 years ago). Had enough for some milk for the rest of the week, bought 2 scratcher lottery tickets instead. I won $80. I will never forget that. Probably the last time that i "wasted" money. I will never forget it!! (zoom ahead 12 years...life is great....)

[thinblue]

Yes, there have been times when I was broke, very broke. I supported myself throughout my college years and I remember having to sell my bike to make my rent payment. I could have called home for some money but I wanted to do it on my own. I think that's why, now, so many years later I have been diligent on setting up an EF. You never know when you will need it, but it's very nice to have.

[Cheesy FL-Vol]

I will never forget the time when my kids were very small. We (ex & I) always made sure we had formula, diapers, baby and toddler food, and there were times we went without. I do remember the one time the two of us looking in the fridge for something, and all that was in there was flour tortillas. That wasn't fun, and not very tasty. Thinking back, we probably could have spread them with a little butter, and warmed them in a pan and I am pretty sure I kept cinnamon sugar. Those were some bad days, and we were really young. I am glad I am not at that place in my life, but I will always remember where I have been so I don't repeat those mistakes.

[donnafreedman]

Yep: Single mom on "permanent part time" at a big-city newspaper. We lived mostly on meatless spaghetti and great northern bean soup. I washed all our laundry, including diapers, on a scrub board.
This lasted about 15 months, until I got married -- to the wrong guy, but live and learn. It was YEARS before I could eat bean soup again. (These days, though, I make a pot of pinto beans about once a week because it's fast and easy.)

[Apple]

Oh, Donna, you just reminded me of my last year of college. My husband had just taken off and left me with the mortgage and the "baby" (he was 3). I was going to school full-time, trying to keep up my straight A record (I should have given that up, but I did it), working 30+ hours a week, trying to be the best mom I could be and my refrigerator died, then my washing machine. It was winter when the frige died so I used a cooler on the back porch to keep food cold (fortunately it was weeks of below-freezing weather). When the washer died I was doing all the laundry in the bath tub--that was hard because of the time it took, time was something I had very little of. Something else died around that time, but I can't remember what right now. After several months I got a 0% interest credit card and bought new appliances with it and then saved like crazy so I could pay them off before the time expired (I did I had tried to find a used one, but no luck since I didn't have enough cash on hand to pay what they were asking.
A friend sold me his car cheap (a Honda, with interest-free payments) so that I could sell my gas-guzzling pick up (I had started commuting 45 miles one way with no one to car pool with) and I sold the pickup to my son's baby sitter for $2000, half in payments, half in daycare discounts of $100 a month each (lifesaver!).
Wow, I'd forgotten about all that!

[Apple]

Jan 14, 2011 14:32:49 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Donna, Apple, everyone: Your stories are absolute eye-openers. It reflects how resilient we (especially single moms) can be. Cheesy: What a visual when you wrote about the tortillas. Thinblue: Were you ever able replace your bike?

That's what I love about this place. So many of us have been there that we really do mean it when we say "you can do it!" People aren't coming here to get beat up, but to figure things out. I've learned so much from so many people already, and there is still so much more to learn.

[998fbird]

I haven't ever been desperately broke, but there were a lot of years when DS was in elementary/middle school when I had to squeeze and stretch every penny and there wasn't room in the budget for very many wants. The grocery budget was only for necessities, no junk, and clothing was basic, no brand name sneaks for DS or expensive electronic toys. And I even had an EF. I was also truly blessed by coworkers and a couple of other people who gave me clothes for DS. There was actually a period of years where because of these generous folks that the only thing I needed to buy to for DS was undies, socks and shoes.
Thanks for asking this question and reminding me that I'm just fine financially and to see things clearly and not pout or panic because I feel financially pinched.

[thinblue]

InsusranceGal - Yes, I did get a replacement bike the very next year. My DH's uncle gave us matching mountainbikes for our wedding present! It reallywas one of my very best gifts ever...

[busymom]

Oh yes, we've had our "extremely broke" years. Thankful that we never lost the house, or our apartment, but we've had our share of bad luck due to employers filing for bankruptcy, as DH & I had a number of years where we were working for unstable companies. Before the kids were born, there was a chunk of 1 year where we lived on peanut butter sandwiches. I'm thinking of the Dave Ramsey quote--"rice & beans, beans & rice". But, we got thru it, & you will too. If you've lost a job, cut all your non-essentials--cable, cell phone (if you've got a landline), learn to shop used clothing stores (Goodwill, etc.). Don't be afraid to go to the foodshelf if you need to, as you'll be surprised who else you might see there. (You can always donate generously there when your life is going better). Focus on better days in the future, as you will get there!