Friday Funny: Revenge Shopping

[Deleted]

thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/

A friend posted this on FaceBook and it's hilarious. The writer was going to the mall and her husband told her he'd strangle her if she bought any more towels. So she bought a giant metal chicken. But you have to read her priceless storytelling and see the picture.

Now I want a giant metal chicken and DH says we don't need it. I think I'm going to go buy some towels.

[Deleted]

She should be expecting divorce papers shortly.

[steph08]

I read that a few weeks ago. I totally loved it! I could see myself doing the same thing!

[zibazinski]

THAT is freakin' hysterical!!!!

[Pants]

Omg, I laughed so hard I cried a little.

[Deleted]

The good news is that based on the front door of her house she can afford a $100 chicken.

[NancysSummerSip]

Absolutely priceless! I wanted to leave a comment, but for whatever reason, the site (or maybe my computer) would not allow me to.

[thyme4change]

As funny as it is - she sounds like a real bitch, and he sounds like a pill. What a miserable couple. And even worse, she posts it all over the internet so everyone can know exactly how mean she is to her husband, and exactly how mean he is to her. That marriage is over.

And I totally want a 5 foot chicken. My husband would laugh his ass off.

I've considered getting this for our garden.

www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102876212&c=10519

[zibazinski]

I want one, too, and DF would find it hysterical if I got one. She sounds like a hoot as does her friend. What DF actually wants and I am going to get him one is a huge metal giraffe that he can put in our wooded area but a chicken would just crack him up.

[swamp]

The day my DH tells me I can't buy bath towels is the day he finds himself back at his mothers house. With the old bath towels.

However, I also want a 5' chicken for my garden.

[Deleted]

I wonder if this is on the blog: Stuff White People Like


Giant Metal Chickens

[wvugurl26]

Now that is hysterical. I would so do that. ;D

[wvugurl26]

I'd buy the bath towels too but I may have been called a spiteful bitch before

[thyme4change]

The good news is that based on the front door of her house she can afford a $100 chicken.

Where have you been the last decade? Don't you know that the only people that can afford a $100 anything are people that look like they can't? And anyone who looks like they can afford it is clearly bankrupt from playing KUWTJ.

[Deleted]

Jul 8, 2011 11:33:12 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

As funny as it is - she sounds like a real bitch, and he sounds like a pill. What a miserable couple.

I agree that the dialogue between the 2 of them was a lot more vehement than anything that goes on between DH and me. And if I really wanted more towels or a giant metal chicken, we'd have a peaceful discussion about it and I'd probably get it with his agreement.

[swamp]

Jul 8, 2011 11:40:59 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Jul 8, 2011 11:33:12 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

As funny as it is - she sounds like a real bitch, and he sounds like a pill. What a miserable couple.

I agree that the dialogue between the 2 of them was a lot more vehement than anything that goes on between DH and me. And if I really wanted more towels or a giant metal chicken, we'd have a peaceful discussion about it and I'd probably get it with his agreement.

I'd just go buy the damn towels without telling DH I'm doing it, and it wouldn't be an issue

[Deleted]

Jul 8, 2011 11:41:57 GMT -5 swamp said:

Jul 8, 2011 11:40:59 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

I'd just go buy the damn towels without telling DH I'm doing it, and it wouldn't be an issue

I hope that is what my wife would do as well. If not, I think I would end up with a giant metal chicken, or something more expensive and less kitschy.

[sil]

Nothing to add except that I think the chicken is FANTASTIC!

[thyme4change]

This all reminds me that I'm in a canundrum. We are re-doing our bathroom, and I'm considering getting brand new towels, so for just once - for a whole week, everything will be brand spankin' new. I got a new hairdryer at a charity auction a few months ago, and I put it away, so when the new bathroom is ready, I'll use the new blowdryer (my old one has that burning hair smell that they get right before they short out and smoke.) My old bathrobe is dreadful, so I'm buying a new one that matches the new bathroom. My toothbrush doesn't hold a charge, so I'm going to buy a new one. But my towels really aren't that bad, and they are white. So, buy new just because I can, or suck it up. What do you think?

[swamp]

Jul 8, 2011 11:47:33 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

This all reminds me that I'm in a canundrum. We are re-doing our bathroom, and I'm considering getting brand new towels, so for just once - for a whole week, everything will be brand spankin' new. I got a new hairdryer at a charity auction a few months ago, and I put it away, so when the new bathroom is ready, I'll use the new blowdryer (my old one has that burning hair smell that they get right before they short out and smoke.) My old bathrobe is dreadful, so I'm buying a new one that matches the new bathroom. My toothbrush doesn't hold a charge, so I'm going to buy a new one. But my towels really aren't that bad, and they are white. So, buy new just because I can, or suck it up. What do you think?

Go get the towels. And the chicken.

[zibazinski]

I think you should buy a chicken instead.

[thyme4change]

she'll just embarass the heck out of them in front of their friends.

LOL - I was picking up my daughter from gymnastics the other day and talking to one of the other Moms (whom I LOVE) and her daughter was daudling. The mom yelled across the facility "Suzy, I've decided to start singing. If you aren't over here and ready to go in 90 seconds, I'm going to start dancing." Suzy ran across the gym so fast she could have broken a world record. She was yelling "No, no, no, no, no, no, no" the whole way.

It reminded me of the "Melissa and Joey" preview where Melissa said to her kid "Behave or I'm going to come to your school and kiss you during lunch hour."

[thyme4change]

P.S. I would love to get the chicken, but my bathroom is pretty small.

[april47]

Jul 8, 2011 11:44:21 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

Okay ... now I totally want a 5 foot chicken. AND a garden zombie!

I kind of think this was hilarious and Beyonce should be flattered. However, what is a garden zombie and do you have a picture of it?

[zibazinski]

I'd like to see that as well.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Thyme's got a link to the garden zombie up on post 4 or so.

[thyme4change]

See the link on post 7, or take a flight somewhere and look through the sky mall cataloge. Or go to sky mall's website and search, or google "garden zombie."

[Deleted]

I always wondered who bought stuff from sky mall...

[Wisconsin Beth]

Jul 8, 2011 12:11:57 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I always wondered who bought stuff from sky mall...

I so badly wanted the library chair/table combo thing they had about 18 years ago. It was awesome and extremely out of my price range at the time. Still would be for that matter...

[shanendoah]

I'm not allowed to bring any more mugs into the house unless they are big enough to be used for soup bowls. We have limited cupboard space and more mugs than any two people have ever needed already. (I love dollar store giant mugs), so DH called for a moratorium until some break. Its a reasonable request.
Of course, right after he placed that moratorium (a couple years ago) I attended a Christmas party that was a mug exchange...

As for the garden zombie- I saw that when I was flying recently and thought that would be a really great gift for DH, but we don't currently have a garden, and I'm the one who mows, so it would just get in my way, unless....

I could place it on the side of our hill that's too steep to be mowed. The weed whacker could work around it just fine, and it would have the added bonus for creeping out anyone who parked in front of my house. Hmmm.....


ETA: I LOVE ProBoard ads The ad on my page is now for SkyMall with the Garden Zombie