yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 30, 2011 8:04:48 GMT -5
I've been at my job for 10 years (yeah, I was only 20 when I started as an intern) and I think I might be having a 30s crisis. I just can't see myself doing this for 25-35 more years. Are the next 20 years just going to fly by?
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reader79
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Post by reader79 on Jun 30, 2011 8:28:23 GMT -5
I'm 31, and on my 11th year at my company. I am eligible to apply for the Voluntary Resignation Program, and receive 33 weeks severance. I want to start over soooooo bad..... but I won't, cause I'm a chicken.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 30, 2011 8:30:20 GMT -5
I'm chicken too. Sometimes I think I should have been a nurse but going back to school just seems silly now and too much of a hassle.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Jun 30, 2011 8:32:49 GMT -5
My cousin went back to school around 28-30 to get her nursing degree. She likes it much better than her high-powered corperate job.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 30, 2011 8:37:36 GMT -5
CarloinaKat - Do you know how long it took her? I haven't made the leap of actually looking into programs yet.
I have various scenarios of "how things should work" floating through my head right now. Like maybe I hold out a few more years until I have kid #2 and contemplate the whole switch careers again. Or maybe I wait until kids are in grade school, quit and go to school while they're in school ... I don't know if 6-7 years down the road I'll feel even more chicken or less.
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RoadToRiches
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Post by RoadToRiches on Jun 30, 2011 8:39:39 GMT -5
I know what you are saying. I am 35 and having some career crisis now. Not sure if I want to do what I am doing now. I like it, but I feel like I could be doing something more enjoyable. I am thinking about switching jobs and go to a company (I am looking at some positions now with Fortune 500 company that lots of my friends work at) that has tuition reimbursement so I can go back to school.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Jun 30, 2011 8:42:57 GMT -5
She did a 2 year program (that had the option of completing a semester early 5 instead of 6)at a local CC with excellent RN exam pass rates. She ended up quitting her job and moving in with her sister, to be near the program. During this time she also met and married her husband and was pregnant with child #1 when she sat for her exam. To this day, I have NO IDEA how she did all that in 2 years.
She's a nurse on a specialty surgical team now almost 6 years later and much prefers this to her profession before even though it makes much less. She doesn't have to travel 6-7 weeks out of 8 anymore.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 30, 2011 9:11:28 GMT -5
I appreciate all the responses.
In a way this has been in the back of my mind for a while, but it has really been brought to the forefront lately. I think now that I have a child, I hate to "waste my time" even more so on something I don't like at all.
wrongside - I think your situation is particularly difficult. I too would be tempted to at least wait three more years so the pension isn't completely wasted but of course you have no idea what opportunities will be available to you at that time.
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regina24601
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Post by regina24601 on Jun 30, 2011 9:21:01 GMT -5
yogiii - I'm 28 and I'm on my second career (high school teacher first, now I'm in banking/investments). I'm finishing up a master's degree to go into yet ANOTHER field in the next year or so, and then I plan to complete the loop and go back to teaching in 5 years or so.
I totally get what you're saying about your baby making you not want to waste time at a job you don't love. I feel the exact same way, which is why I plan to go back to teaching in a few years.
It's scary changing careers - DH and I have done it twice - we even picked up and moved across the country each time with no jobs until we got there. We've landed on our feet, and it's always been an exciting challenge. Totally worth it.
Life is too short to be unhappy. I think (piecing together from the kind of poster that you are) that you have made some good financial decisions and are in a place where you have the luxury of making changes. Priorities change after kids, and I'm a firm believer in the mantra of "Folllow your bliss." There are no guarantees in life, so sometimes you just have to take a chance! Do your research, maybe shadow a nurse or something, and see if it's a leap you want to take! (And FWIW, my mom and sister are both nurses and can't imagine doing anything else.)
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Jun 30, 2011 9:21:29 GMT -5
I think I might be having a 30s crisis. I just can't see myself doing this for 25-35 more years. Are the next 20 years just going to fly by? Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. ~ Ferris Bueller's Day Off I'm 47. Back in my 30's I was facing similiar questions about my job... I'd been in IT since the mid 80's right out of school. I had just finished getting my BS in some general computer stuff by attending night school. I couldn't see myself doing the same things at 50 or 55 or even 60. So, I started questioning my 'life': what did I want out of life? Where was I going? Was that REALLY were I wanted to go? Was I having fun? Was I happy? What would make me happy, seriously - not the generic 'a million dollars and a beach to lie on while the cabana boy brings me another cold drink'. I didn't quit my job or do anything drastic... I started looking at other types of careers and talking to people who did them. I started playing 'make believe' - what would it take to get to do that job? What were the benefits? What were the drawbacks? Would doing it make me happy(be interesting/fulfilling/whatever)? I discovered that the High School Career Counselors were alittle short on Career advice... there's lots of jobs/careers that seem interesting to me that I never considered or knew about... but it turns out my job in IT is OK for me. I do like it and it takes advantange of the few strengths I have Back when I was 35 I also started to get my financial house in order. I had a well paying job but frittered alot of money. I figured I needed to save/invest/not fritter so much so that when I was 50/55/60 I could change jobs to something lower paid without living in a cardboard box under a bridge. I also started to take more time to suss out hobbies (things other than computers) that I enjoy and to spend more time with my Friends/Family versus my Work Friends/Family. Somewhere around 40 I discovered YM. At 47, I think I'm doing pretty good, I'm still in IT but if/when I need to bail on it I think I'll be OK. I'm not stressed at work (I like work well enough) and I have some good relationships with family members and a circle of friends and a few hobbies I enjoy. I feel that I have some control over my life and most definitely over my choices. My advice in a nutshell would be to NOT sit back and ignore where you are going in life... maybe you are on a good path but you need to KNOW you are on a good path. You don't want to wake up one day in your late 40's and go "How did I get here?" You want to wake up each day and KNOW how you got to today AND where you are heading. You accomplish this by doing some introspection and exploring what things you can (without quiting your day job). Maybe do some volunteering in an area you are interested in. Maybe there's a hobby that borders on what you are interested in that will put you in touch with people who have jobs based around that hobby. Embrace some change Do something different that doesn't severly impact your day job (Don't quit your job and assume you'll fall into something you love). Stop and look around. You don't want to miss life.
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backontrack
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Post by backontrack on Jun 30, 2011 9:30:20 GMT -5
Is there any chance you can do a different job at your current company? I've been at the same place since I got out of college 13 years ago, but have been able to work on many different projects and in different capacities, so I haven't gotten bored yet.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 30, 2011 9:41:01 GMT -5
momontheclock - Boredom isn't really my issue. Just since I've been back from maternity leave (about 7 months), I've worked on 4 totally different projects. We've actually had a bunch of lay-offs and that accounts for some of my shifting around.
ATSiaRU - I understand your point. I think so far, I keep coming back to the conclusion that my job is "ok for me for now" but I'm not sure if that holds true anymore. I'm not going to do something drastic, like quitting my job without having another lined up, but in the event that I did quit or get layed off, I feel 70% certain that I don't want another job in the same field. To me that means maybe my job isn't ok enough anymore.
I remember looking briefly a year or two ago at the accelerated RN degree programs for people who already had a BS/BA. I think there were still some general ed type classes I'd need to take before I could do something like that. It seems it would be a 3 year schooling commitment for me, that's the part I'm scared of.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jun 30, 2011 9:44:12 GMT -5
...:::"Are the next 20 years just going to fly by?":::...
In one way, YES! You will wake up at age 50 and wonder where your life went, and why you didn't take advantage of opportunities when you had the chance. You will hate yourself for "waiting just a little longer" when now it is far too late and many doors are closed forever.
In another sense, no. They will drag by. Every day, all you will focus on is getting through the day. Every day you get through is a day that is gone forever. After 20 years worth of these days, then you will feel like it flew by because you will remember this post you made at age 30 and kick yourself for not acting on it.
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april47
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Post by april47 on Jun 30, 2011 9:44:40 GMT -5
I went back to school in my mid 30's to become a nurse. I just retired after 25 years in nursing. I got my pre-requisites at a CC then went to a university BSN nursing program. It does pay adequately and there is a need most of the time. Be prepared to work long hours on your feet and night shifts. There are a lot of rules and regulations and sometimes you feel like your hands are tied. Sometimes sad sometimes joyful. Be sure you are in good physical health, flexible about hours and days, work weekend and holidays, and can handle stress. I felt frustrated, exhausted, and sore much of the time. It CAN be very fulfilling at times though. I hear through my friends that they are not hiring much at the moment and things are slow but that changes all the time. By the time you get out of school maybe they will be short again and giving hire on bonuses. Good luck!
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RoadToRiches
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Post by RoadToRiches on Jun 30, 2011 9:45:43 GMT -5
I think I might be having a 30s crisis. I just can't see myself doing this for 25-35 more years. Are the next 20 years just going to fly by? Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. ~ Ferris Bueller's Day Off I'm 47. Back in my 30's I was facing similiar questions about my job... I'd been in IT since the mid 80's right out of school. I had just finished getting my BS in some general computer stuff by attending night school. I couldn't see myself doing the same things at 50 or 55 or even 60. So, I started questioning my 'life': what did I want out of life? Where was I going? Was that REALLY were I wanted to go? Was I having fun? Was I happy? What would make me happy, seriously - not the generic 'a million dollars and a beach to lie on while the cabana boy brings me another cold drink'. I didn't quit my job or do anything drastic... I started looking at other types of careers and talking to people who did them. I started playing 'make believe' - what would it take to get to do that job? What were the benefits? What were the drawbacks? Would doing it make me happy(be interesting/fulfilling/whatever)? I discovered that the High School Career Counselors were alittle short on Career advice... there's lots of jobs/careers that seem interesting to me that I never considered or knew about... but it turns out my job in IT is OK for me. I do like it and it takes advantange of the few strengths I have Back when I was 35 I also started to get my financial house in order. I had a well paying job but frittered alot of money. I figured I needed to save/invest/not fritter so much so that when I was 50/55/60 I could change jobs to something lower paid without living in a cardboard box under a bridge. I also started to take more time to suss out hobbies (things other than computers) that I enjoy and to spend more time with my Friends/Family versus my Work Friends/Family. Somewhere around 40 I discovered YM. At 47, I think I'm doing pretty good, I'm still in IT but if/when I need to bail on it I think I'll be OK. I'm not stressed at work (I like work well enough) and I have some good relationships with family members and a circle of friends and a few hobbies I enjoy. I feel that I have some control over my life and most definitely over my choices. My advice in a nutshell would be to NOT sit back and ignore where you are going in life... maybe you are on a good path but you need to KNOW you are on a good path. You don't want to wake up one day in your late 40's and go "How did I get here?" You want to wake up each day and KNOW how you got to today AND where you are heading. You accomplish this by doing some introspection and exploring what things you can (without quiting your day job). Maybe do some volunteering in an area you are interested in. Maybe there's a hobby that borders on what you are interested in that will put you in touch with people who have jobs based around that hobby. Embrace some change Do something different that doesn't severly impact your day job (Don't quit your job and assume you'll fall into something you love). Stop and look around. You don't want to miss life. Great post. Karma to you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2011 9:51:49 GMT -5
If you were 62, I would tell you to suck it up. But you are in your early 30s - you can't keep going to a job that feels like it has no growth potential/no challenge/no interest or whatever for the next 35-40 years.
I would take on a part time job in the evening as your own personal life coach. (Sounds hokey, I realize, but far less embarassing that hiring an actual life coach)
Take some career aptitude and interest tests online. Learn about the different options available. Find what interests you and see what sort of education or training you would need to pursue that. See what getting that training would entail and make a plan.
It is a lot easier to keep getting up and going to work everyday if you feel like you are also making progress towards something better.
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telephus44
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Post by telephus44 on Jun 30, 2011 10:16:24 GMT -5
I'm 33 and kind of feel the same way. I've only been at this company 4 years, but I've been in this job position for the last 10. I'm very good at it, but it seems like there's no where to go, and my industry is a dying one. I've spent the last few years thinking about starting over, shifting to part-time and being more of a SAHM, trying harder to be more aggressive in my career as it is - and I'm still not 100% sure.
Right now I've pretty much decided that my job is good enough for now. I had a review yesterday, and my boss actually said the company is really impressed and wants me here for the long term, and they will help grow me in different directions as things come up. I've kind of decided that my job is good enough for now, and I want to spend more time and energy focusing on other things - I'm really interested in yoga and environmental activism. I'm going to try focusing more on that, and just kind of let the job thing ride. I mean, I put in 100% when I'm there, I will take emails and phone calls at home, I'm not just a clock puncher - but I'm not going to aggressively go for plant manager in the next 3 years. If I can get another 20-30 years here and get some growth and make it out before my industry totally fizzles, I'll be ok.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jun 30, 2011 10:20:33 GMT -5
When you say "doing this" - do you mean the same job at the same desk at the same company? Or, any mouse-jockey job?
I felt that way around 30-ish, and then I got a new boss, who was awesome and gave me some really great opportunitites to grow, and then I got a promotion and then I changed companies and I love what I do now, 12 years later. It seems like it is the same thing (basically) as I did back then, but somehow between technology advances and such, it feels fresh and challenging.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jun 30, 2011 10:32:45 GMT -5
DH went to college at 35 to become a Civil Engineer and he finished in 4 years, while working part time and having two kids at home driving him nuts. His reasons were a little more dramatic than being bored at work but it does show that you are way young enough to do it. So if it is what you really want I say go for it!
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 30, 2011 10:50:17 GMT -5
By "doing this" I actually mean engineering in general, not just my specific job/company.
I think sarah and telephus have some good points too, I really need to look into things in a more serious manner and create an outline, like if I want to be a nurse I would go to school here for 3 years, it would cost this, etc etc. Another thing I've considered over the years is teaching middle or high school math (my BS is actually in applied math) which would mostly involve just getting hired and certified but I'm afraid that I only want to do that due to the nice schedule and I'd quickly tire of that as well. I have a lot of family members who are teachers, so I understand the ups and downs of that profession.
A lot of these feelings have strengthened due to having a kid. Maybe eventually working part time doing what I do now will be enough. I have a fairly long commute and a very demanding job. I'm often so mentally tired by Fridays that I just stare at the wall after DS goes to bed. I don't want to live my life like that forever, but maybe eventually decreasing hours will be enough.
I don't know.
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telephus44
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Post by telephus44 on Jun 30, 2011 11:00:04 GMT -5
I definitely think having a child was what changed my viewpoint. I was really an aggressive career person before my son was born - tons of extra hours, taking on extra projects. Now, 4 years later, I'm not so sure. I like working. I like my job. I've had people tell me just to quit and stay home with my son. And then there's the elusive part-time job that will combine my life's passion, make tons of money, and allow me to stay home with my son so I'll be the best mom ever, which I still haven't found.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jun 30, 2011 11:07:02 GMT -5
There was a book called something like "What Color is Your Parachute" that helped people evaluate what they're good at, and helped them figure out a possible career.
30 is definitely NOT too old to go back to school. If you realize now that something needs to change, in 4 years you will be kicking yourself for not at least looking at options, and making some small changes to work towards your new goal.
I wish you well! Don't waste your entire life on a job your hate! (Those are the people who have heart attacks & don't even live to retirement.)
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2011 11:09:13 GMT -5
I'm 33 and probably would feel the same way about my job. It's exactly as you describe. Decent pay, good benefits, and safe.
For me, I realized just with talking to people that most people don't really LOVE their jobs. So I consider it only a problem if you absolutely HATE your job. Like one girl I knew who hated her job so much that when she took a vacation and had to go back to work, she would actually cry the night before. That's not normal.
If you really think you want to do something else, then investigate and keep an open mind. But realize that most people that talk about loving their career are kind of full of it.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jun 30, 2011 11:17:46 GMT -5
busymom - thanks for the book tip. I wish I'd known about it yesterday, I would have added it to my B&N.com order!
I am 32, and feel exactly like the OP. next week, I will reach 10 years with my current employer. the first 9.5 of those years were spent working in a great department, for a crappy manager. the past couple months have been interesting, in that I'm resetting my expectations to accommodate a boss that will actually help me out if I need it. I'm not sure that I will enjoy the changed job function, but I'm willing to give it time to see if I do. I'm almost done with my WIR race, and I'm seeing that I can take a significant pay cut if necessary to find something else to do.
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RoadToRiches
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Post by RoadToRiches on Jun 30, 2011 11:24:58 GMT -5
Phil said it the best in one of the threads something to the effect of: People turn their hobby into their career, only to find out that they hate their hobby...
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Clifford
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Post by Clifford on Jun 30, 2011 11:44:23 GMT -5
I think sarah and telephus have some good points too, I really need to look into things in a more serious manner and create an outline, like if I want to be a nurse I would go to school here for 3 years, it would cost this, etc etc. I am 35 and I made the leap last month. I left a large, steady company (after 10 years) where many people talked about my potential, and went to a smaller company owned by an investment group. I know that I may have given up stability, but I needed a change of pace. I think that now that you have admitted to yourself that you are unhappy, you will not be satisfied day-to-day. You will start to focus on all of the negatives, and start wondering about missed opportunities (if you haven't already). Start moving forward by doing what you mentioned in the quote above. Also consider past strengths (like your Math degree). My new job is actually in the field where I started for the old company but transitioned away from years ago. I am feeling challenged again and - compared to the expertise in the small company - I am a now a big fish.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2011 11:51:02 GMT -5
Phil said it the best in one of the threads something to the effect of: People turn their hobby into their career, only to find out that they hate their hobby... I agree with this 100%. I used to think I hated working. Then I started a side-business and started making very good money with that. After that, I realized I didn't actually hate my day-job. I hated relying on it 100% for income. It's kind of like the guy that's 75 years old but keeps working. Once you don't need the money, it is not as tough to deal with.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 30, 2011 12:09:49 GMT -5
I agree too. Nothing I'm considering switching to at this point is a hobby of mine. If that was the case I'd be an aerobics instructor or a personal organizer ( I like cleaning and organizing things, I'm weird that way). Nursing seems appealing because I enjoy working with/helping people and then the corny aspect of feeling a big sense of pride/accomplishment from helping someone out. I feel like I have a lot of empathy to offer and I'm the type of person that cracks jokes to lighten the mood, etc. I enjoy stuff that's fast paced and I think that career switch would be exciting to me but I do need to research more into it as it would take a large amount of effort on my part and I want to go into something like that with my eyes 100% open. I'm not very confident that type of career switch will actually happen, I'm not a big risk taker and everything about it screams risk to me. However, I do think I still need to look into it more, even if it is just to completely rule it out Something that seems more likely is utilizing my current skill set (like Clifford was mentioning) but applying it to a different type of work. I might just start looking at various open jobs in my immediate area to get a feel for what I could do closer to home. I think part of my problem is that although there are certainly good aspects to my job, some of the negatives are becoming more of an issue as time goes by (such as the long commute/long hours).
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Cass
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Post by Cass on Jun 30, 2011 12:14:43 GMT -5
Wow, there are a lot of us. I'm doing it too, quit after 10 years at my job. Working two low paid jobs this summer and upgrading at night to be ready for Nursing school in the fall. The pay cut stinks in the short term, but I am trying to think long term. I'm 35.
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on Jun 30, 2011 12:43:24 GMT -5
My advice would be to give yourself the chance to go with your gut. If you don't like the actual work, that is one thing; if you don't like who you work for or the work environment - that is completely different.
DH made a career change in his 30s. He started his career as a planner (cuz that's where the opening was), even though his interest was corporate finance. He like the planning, but after a few years, he had an opportunity to take a job with the same company in finance and went for it. He really loved it, but eventually ended up working for a jerk and was extremely unhappy (not with the work, but with his boss). He went back to planning (again with the same company) and took a cut in pay to get out from under the jerk. If he had not been able to do that, I'm pretty sure that he would have left the company. He LOVED, LOVED, LOVED the planning job; but the projects dried up about 6 years ago.
At that time he got really lucky. He took a job transfer/relocation (paid for by his company) to take a management position in the exact location where we wanted to move in retirement. The job required experience in administration, planning, and finance - PERFECT FOR HIM. He interviewed and got the job. WHEW!!
I think he's been really lucky in that he was able to change careers back and forth within the same company and use both career fields to garner an excellent paying position in the last years of his career.
Little did we know how that first job in a field that he THOUGHT he did not want to work in, ended up being the best thing that ever happened in his lifelong career. ;D
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