Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 18:59:40 GMT -5
I thought it might be nice, with so many of our WIR posters being preggers that we could start an ongoing discussion about Kids -- planning, pregnancy, raising them -- and financial issues related to them. So post away whatever you'd like to discuss!
VirgilBot TP v0.02 Started Thread Port on 01/05/2011
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:00:35 GMT -5
boos_momMessage #1 - 09/04/07 07:31 PMI thought it might be nice, with so many of our WIR posters being preggers that we could start an ongoing discussion about Kids -- planning, pregnancy, raising them -- and financial issues related to them. So post away whatever you'd like to discuss! boos_momMessage #2 - 09/04/07 07:35 PMI would like to know if folks have spent the $ to get expensive or cheap ovulation kits? I've seen those microscope ones that you can examine your spittle to see when you're ovulating. The cheapie ones are maybe $25. Or have folks used the sticks? Those seem to cost more and have the excess waste factor that I'm not thrilled about... Any opinions on what's worked for them and has minimal cost? The Reflector - WIRMessage #3 - 09/04/07 07:43 PMThanks for starting this thread, boos_mom! I'm 14 weeks pregnant, due on March 5. I have 2 main financial issues involving the baby right now. Long term - I need to do an analysis of how much daycare will cost for 2 kids instead of 1 and figure out what my job situation will be when I get back from (most likely unpaid) maternity leave. If I am going to end up working just to pay for daycare I'd rather find a way to stay home. My daycare provider will probably be happy to work up some numbers for me on a few different scenarios but I don't want to approach my boss for another couple of months because a) I'm still proving that I can be pregnant and do a good job, and b) we're moving offices and in the middle of some very large and complicated jobs and I do NOT want him stressing out about what to do with me at this particular moment in time. I will just have to be patient on this front which is not my strong suit. Short term - I am wasting a ton of money on food. My appetite is slowly returning but it seems I only want to eat certain foods at certain times so I'm either buying everything under the sun at the grocery store and hoping I still want to eat it when I get home or giving in to cravings and going to Subway once or twice a week for lunch. I can usually get out of Subway for around $5, but it's starting to turn into a habit. Hopefully my taste buds will level out in the next couple of weeks and I can stop wasting so much money on food! The Reflector - WIRMessage #4 - 09/04/07 07:47 PMWe used an ovulation kit - first we got a cheap Target brand one for $15 but it was really hard to read so we got a $25 First Response kit, it worked beautifully and we got pregnant our first month trying. It also worked our first month using it while trying to get pregnant with DD (we had gone 4 months trying to time things on our own before that). Both kits were the pee on a stick variety. It was definitely worth the cost to us. KineticKidMessage #5 - 09/04/07 08:18 PMI just had my baby girl August 25th! She's an absolute darling: sweet as can be, a good sleeper, not too fussy, and a really good eater (great thing I'm breastfeeding or else we'd be facing some large formula-related expenses!). My biggest financial challenge is how to continue saving money when I'm no longer working. We have a nice emergency fund, but savings will definitely taper off now that I'm staying home. However, I'm exhausted--averaging 4 hours per night of sleep!--and have too little energy to do much else other than feed the Little Girl, let alone get a part-time job... opedMessage #6 - 09/04/07 08:28 PMI would like to know if folks have spent the $ to get expensive or cheap ovulation kits? I've seen those microscope ones that you can examine your spittle to see when you're ovulating. The cheapie ones are maybe $25. Or have folks used the sticks? Those seem to cost more and have the excess waste factor that I'm not thrilled about... Any opinions on what's worked for them and has minimal cost? Boo... when are you thinking of trying?... check out the book The Billings Method from the library. It is used for natural family planning... the up shot being that once you learn to tell when your body is fertile by being aware of the natural signs, then you can choose either to avoid sex or have sex on those days when you are fertile... depending on your intentions to get pregnant or avoid pregnancy... it is cheap and no waste... no test kits, but it will require some time commitment... checking your vaginal mucus and probably your temp every day...
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:00:48 GMT -5
opedMessage #7 - 09/04/07 08:31 PMSmarter... don't even think about a part time job now... feeding that little girl should be your only concern (and changing and cuddling...etc. of coarse )... you've planned well and now you can relax for a little while knowing you are secure... Congrats by the way. dakota4600Message #8 - 09/04/07 08:35 PMI just found out I'm pregnant and due about May 3rd. I go to the Dr. in a couple weeks to confirm. We didn't use an ovulation kit, I just went by mucus changes, we got PG after 2 months of trying. We did use Pre-seed though, it is expensive, but I heard really good things about it. ($15 for 6 applications) Things we need to do financially before baby comes - Pay off 2nd mortgage (Should be done by December) Payment $150, Currently Paying $700, Starting this month will up to $1700
- Figure out daycare. I think we will luck out on this. My dad & DH's dad are both retired and expressed interest in watching the little one=NO COST. My dad currently watches my niece when she is not is school. If we could come up with plan where they each take a couple days a week, it might work. I worry that they will get tired of this. My SIL is due in Feb and wants to stay home and has talked about watching other kids to help keep money coming in=LOW COST. Daycare is something I really don't want to have to consider. Neither DH or I ever went and I would love it if my little one doesn't have to.
- Start saving $1K a month for my 2/3 months off. (Probably won't happen until Jan because of paying off second Mortgage, but we might be able to save 1500 a month then.)
- Figure out how to tell my boss and have a plan written up to show her how things will be covered.(Hopefully 6 weeks off and 6 weeks working from home PT.)
- After I pass 12 weeks start shopping for nursery items on sale.
Am I 30 AlreadyMessage #9 - 09/04/07 08:45 PMdakota, that's my birthday! So I hope that's when the little one really comes lol. Well I'm not pregnant. I opened the thread for the parenting part as I have 2 (3 and soon to be 11). dakota4600Message #10 - 09/04/07 08:48 PMIt is my mom's birthday as well. I told her that I had a really special b-day present, but it may not be quite ready on her birthday! Am I 30 AlreadyMessage #11 - 09/04/07 08:58 PMOr the bun can be ready a tad early lol. anne81Message #12 - 09/04/07 09:06 PMCongratulations Smarter! I'm glad to hear you and daughter are doing well. Congrats to you too Dakota! Is it your first? Boos-mom - check out Amazon. They have ridiculously cheap pregnancy tests (more sensitive than the drugstore ones) and ovulation kits. I just ordered five pregnancy tests for $3. Husband and I just started trying (right before he went out of town for five days of course!) I've already left my job (we've been living off DH's income) so I won't have to worry about daycare. It's around $1500 a month where I live - if you can find someone to take an infant. We really focused on paying down my school debt this year so we've already cut the minimum due each month in half. My goal is to pay off two more of my school loans (total is a little less than 10,000) by the time baby arrives. Does anyone know of any good strollers for tall people? I went to a store with a friend who was buying one and they are all ridiculously short. I'm 5'7 and DH is 6'5. The one that I thought might be okay was $500!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:01:19 GMT -5
dakota4600Message #13 - 09/04/07 09:19 PMAnne Yes it is our first. Good Luck! I hadn't thought of strollers for tall people. We are about the same height as you & your DH. I'm guessing the handles are too low for you? We wandered around a baby store the day we found out, but really didn't look at strollers. DH decided that the changing tables were too low and is going to make one that is a dresser that will be a little higher. Though I sincerely doubt it will get done before the baby is here. (He'll be running home from the hospital to finish it if I know him at all ) Jess HMessage #14 - 09/04/07 09:26 PMHi everyone! I'm sure I will be referring to this thread a lot in the coming months. I am pregnant, due April 20th, and this is the first for DH and I. We are also going to be making a big move at the end of October, where DH will be taking a new job (with about a $25,000/yr paycut- yikes!) and I am now in the process of looking for a job for when we move. Luckily, the new area is a lower COL and also closer to all of our family (2 hours as opposed to 10 hours now). But we are going to be going through a lot of changes very quickly, and so we are planning now to try and prepare ourselves so we don't have to be stressed about money with all the other stuff that is going on. Plus, depending on what I end up doing before the baby is born, I'm planning on staying home at least part-time (if not full-time) once he/she arrives. While we are living on just DH's paycheck now, we use mine for savings, so we'll have to figure out how to get more savings out of his smaller paycheck. This could get interesting... I don't really have any questions or comments to add now, but I'm sure I'll be back. Jess H anne81Message #15 - 09/04/07 09:42 PMDH decided that the changing tables were too low and is going to make one that is a dresser that will be a little higher. LOL! DH also does woodworking - I swear he got into it because he's so tall! He had the house before I moved in so a lot of it (office desk, workshop benches, etc.) is customized to his height. I feel like a mouse sometimes. As for the strollers - most of the handles are too low for me so I can't imagine how they work for him. Do you mind me asking what type of vehicle you drive? DH and I did an experiment with my corolla and the only he fits in it with a carseat is if I put the carseat behind the driver seat, and push it way forward while he sits in the passenger seat. It's really uncomfortable for me as the driver - especially if he's never going to be able to drive. He just has a truck. Shrew2uMessage #16 - 09/04/07 10:10 PMDoes anyone know of any good strollers for tall people? I have a Graco travel system (bought in May from Target for $149, I think; came with a carseat, base and stroller). I'm 5' 3", so I just stood on a footstool (18", making me an effective 6' 9"...woohoo!) to check the reach - I could touch the top handle of the stroller without bending over. Subtract 4" for your husband and add a few inches of reach...it may be worth checking out. anne81Message #17 - 09/04/07 10:45 PMThanks for the suggestion! boos_momMessage #18 - 09/04/07 10:51 PMCongrats Smarter, Reflector, and dakota! Smarter - hang in there, the first month is the hardest, talk about a fog of exhaustion. Seeing that you can get on a computer and type coherently probably puts you ahead of where I was at that time! Reflector - don't be too hard on yourself about the cravings. It is hard on the budget, I agree, but forcing yourself to eat something you physically can't eat (smell, taste, texture, etc) is pointless as well. So, for all those planning folks out there, you might want to factor in more $ for food even while pregnant. I did pick up lunches a lot too, but toward the end, I could only get small/mini portions anyway. Also, think about bringing your own chips and drink so you only need to buy the sandwich itself, cheaper than a meal (and even buy a footlong and make it 2 lunches for a cheaper price, if you find you keep getting the same thing). anne - We have a Combi stroller (can make a travel system w/ many non-Combi infant car seats) with adjustable heights for the handle, although I don't know if a 6'5" person would find it comfortable. We also have a Maclaren umbrella stroller and that is a very nice stroller (ergonomic handles, easy to manuever, nice "ride", comfortable for the kid). You might check out their "infant" type strollers. Costco happened to have it in the warehouse for $50 cheaper than the baby boutique stores. If the regular brands don't work, then "test drive" at the high end boutiques and then look on ebay or craigslist for re-sells. Thanks to all for the tips about the ovulation kits and the book. I'll check into them but am getting slightly impatient as it's been about 7 months of trying (even though I was okay with the near 1 year of trying the first time); I'm hoping to keep the time between the two closer together. So, I may just go for the sticks...
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:01:32 GMT -5
TwoBoys2008Message #19 - 09/04/07 10:53 PMI usually just lurk on the WIR board, but I couldn't help but wanting to join you for this topic! My husband and I are expecting twin boys in January. boos_mom -- for trying to get pregnant, I recommend "Taking Charge Of Your Fertility" and [ www.ovusoft.com] www.ovusoft.com. Charting helped me realize something was wrong after a few months, and my doctor was able to help without the standard 1 year of trying to concieve. Also, I bought Ovulation and Pregnancy tests online, there are lots of places to get them, for less than a dollar a piece -- my Dollar Tree also had both. For preparing for a baby -- my husband and I over the last two years have been saving, saving, saving! I make most of the money, so we've saved enough to cover the mortgage for a full year. That does't include other bills, but counting those, it should be plenty to cover the 3 months of unpaid leave I plan on taking off after the babies are born. Though, now that we are expecting twins, I'm worried that we'll need the money to pay for other things, like an addtional crib, and carseat, and twice as many clothes, and especially NICU time. I really hope I make it full term! I bought the book "Baby Bargains" -- If I'd been really thrifty I would have borrowed it from the library. It reviews all baby items and rates them, based on cost and safety and usability. It's "guaranteed" to save you money. Be sure to look at the 2007 book, as they updated it every couple of years because of new models and stuff. bethanyknMessage #20 - 09/04/07 11:13 PMCongrats, everyone, on their impending arrivals! Hubby and I decided to finally start trying. We've been married for 8 years, so, needless to say, we've been intercepting baby questions for many years. Hopefully sometime soon we'll be successful. As we wait to find out if there's any action in the uterus, we've already started planning by reading tons of books and costing out how much it will be for all the baby stuff. Hubby is insistent that we should get all new baby equipment (crib, car seat, stroller, furniture, playyard, etc.) since we'll likely be using them for 2 kids in all. Costing out all the stuff at reasonable new prices, it seems like it will be $4,000 - $5,000 even before the baby comes. I'm hoping this thread(s) will tell me from a mother's perspective what is essential and what perhaps I can skip buying. I'm all for space saving, cost effective ways to make baby and me happy. For instance, we've discussed getting a $15 booster seat with good reviews rather than a $100 high chair that takes up precious dining room/kitchen space. I've read some of the consumer guides on baby stuff. I just wish there was a way to try all this stuff out, so that I could figure out which stuff I will likely use and which stuff I won't even try to lug around. I have a feeling people will put me in the psych ward if I tote around a bag of flour in various baby equipment in order to see what works! Sam814 - 11wksMessage #21 - 09/05/07 04:14 AMLol bethany, just tote around a nephew, or niece, for awhile My sister is saving me a lot of money by letting me live vicariously through her I take the kid when he is all cuddly and cute, and then I get to give him back when he is screaming. No late nights for me, just yet! Although, DF and I are getting married in 4 months, and he seems to think little ones should follow soon after (his mom is pushing hard for little ones now!). You can get some great things that will last you 2+ kids, and get them used. Look on Craigslist or something like that. Get the things you will need from people who only had one kid Some things to get new are definately a crib mattress (cribs used are ok as long as they are newer and structurally sound/well taken care of) & a carseat (once they are in an accident they have to be thrown away). The rest I would say buy used. ylm23Message #22 - 09/05/07 08:01 AMboos_mom - thanks for starting this! I am due with our first in exactly a month. We have been lucky to get tons and tons of hand me downs from family ... plus I am lucky enough to have a mother who has the money and the interest to do things like buy everything off the registry that wasn't already purchased I am very nervous about all the unknown costs of a baby though, like if she'll bf or if we'll have to get formula and what that will cost, if she has any health problems and how much insurance will cover, etc. it seems to me that if she's normally healthy and breast feeds, the only extra expenses for a while should be doctor visit co-pays and diapers. am I missing something? about the changing table - my FIL is a wonderful woodworker and he built us a frame to go around the contoured changing pad and you just put it on top of a dresser. when we're past diapers we just take the frame off and it is a dresser again. anne - we're having issues with our car seat and our corolla too! but our problem is our car is old ('94) and it seems the design just doesn't get the base snug enough. we can get it tight with the car seat alone but it is a huge PITA. Luckily we won't need to drive the baby around too much, i don't think. The pediatrician i am planning to use has his office on our street! also, since i am not working, there's no day care cost. bethany - about new/used stuff. The bassinet i have was used by my 2 brothers, me and my 2 nephews. the crib was used by 2 nieces (we did get a new mattress though). car seats really should be new, especially the infant one, but really much of the stuff, as long as it is in good condition and meets current safety standards, can be used. kids don't really do much damage to most of the big ticket items so even if something is used, it should still make it through your 2 kids. The Reflector - WIRMessage #23 - 09/05/07 01:45 PMCongratulations to all you expectant moms! Good luck to those of you trying! I can't believe I'm giving advice for tall people! I'm 5' tall, my husband is 6'2". We got a Graco travel system (I think it was around $150) and the stroller has an adjustable handle that I can put all the way down for me and all the way up for him. The only problem with it is that sometimes his big feet hit the brake on the stroller by accident. Just go to a store and test drive lots of them and see what works. If anyone has a Babies'RUs in their area it is a great place to go and compare items. Online there are reviews on everything which was really helpful for us. Once you find out what you want you can start bargain hunting/registering wherever you want. We used our store do research and to register and almost everything was given to us at various baby showers because DD was the first grandchild in both families. I think we only spent about $200 ourselves. We also planned ahead and made sure that everything could be used for subsequent children. I think all we'll need for the new baby is a crib mattress and a couple of diaper champs. And more clothes if it's a boy! kjshMessage #24 - 09/05/07 01:55 PMFor all those with car seat concerns - check with your local fire department. In our area, you can take your car and car seat there and they will help ensure that it's installed securely and properly. When my friends were getting ready for their first (who started walking last week - yay she's a genius , the husband swears up and down that he followed the directions for the car seat. They took it to the FD on a whim and found out it wasn't secure at all.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:02:03 GMT -5
mrslynchMessage #25 - 09/05/07 03:07 PMi've posted similar information before, but i think it's worth repeating. i'm not currently pregnant, but our daughter is almost 9 months (and teething--very delightful) and here are some things i wish i had known before she was born: do not buy anything that is newborn sizes--that size only goes up to 8 pounds, and your baby may come out bigger than that (like mine did)--0-3 months size should be sufficient; do not take the tags off of anything more than a week's worth of clothes prior to the birth--you may recieve items that are the wrong season, etc; sleep sacks are the greatest thing ever, especially for middle of the night diaper changes--get several of these; budget for medicine--you never know; budget for formula, even if you plan to breastfeed--again, you never know; budget for co-pays for doctor visits; prepare your pets for the baby (we did and our dogs absolutely love our daughter); if possible, take part in dependant care and flexible spending through your job (if available)-we do this and it has helped tremendously; you can never have too many spit-up rags--cloth diapers will be good--the other ones are too flimsy; and lastly, don't let anyone make you feel guilty if you have to send your child to daycare. for financial reasons, i have to work and every day i drop her off, i feel horrible, but then i remember that it's better to send her to daycare so i can work and we can keep our house then for me to stay home and for us to have to live in an unsafe neighborhood (there are plenty near my house) because it's all we can afford. and to address the stroller question...i'm 5'3" and my husband is 6'1"...we have no problem with our graco travel system (it rocks, actually). debtinheritorMessage #26 - 09/05/07 03:25 PMI have some questions, and I'm sorry if they seem really stupid, but I'll ask them anyway. I just got married on August 25, so we're not trying yet, but I'm trying to plan for the future. DH will be 36 in January and would like to start trying then (I just turned 30.) I've never done any research on when is the best time of your cycle for getting pregnant and all that, so I'm curious when people say they check the vaginal mucus to see when is best, what they're talking about. We started a savings account for when we do have a baby back at the end of April. Right now we have over $550 in it. I'm trying to save up to make sure that I can take 12 weeks off and have the money to cover the time off. I'm very fortunate in that my mom will more than likely buy us a lot of the things we need when we do have a baby. But I'm also planning on having money to buy stuff just in case. I go back and forth, thinking we should get a house before we have a baby, but then I worry that we won't be able to get a house for a while, because we want to pay off more debt first. As far as daycare, my parents will watch our kid(s) 3 days/week, so we will have to find something for the other 2 days. DH's company will reimburse for daycare expenses up to $10,000 total. I just freak out now that we'll never be financially ready to have a baby. debtinheritorMessage #27 - 09/05/07 03:27 PMprepare your pets for the baby (we did and our dogs absolutely love our daughter) mrslynch - how did you prepare your dogs? We have a dog who is spoiled, and I'm afraid when that day does come, she will be very jealous. mrslynchMessage #28 - 09/05/07 03:40 PMour dogs are beyond spoiled. well, the first thing we did was get a baby doll (think cabbage patch doll) and kind of kept it around the house so they got used to the idea of a small thing being around. then, once the baby was born, my husband brought home her first hat from the hospital (it is recommended that you use the first one because the scent is stronger or something like that) and they slept with it so they became familiar with the smell. then, on the day we brought her home, we sat with her and the two of them on our couch and let them smell her, etc. the biggest thing we did, though, is not made her off-limits. we let them sniff and lick her, we let them play in the same room as her, even if she was on the floor (supervised, of course), we let them into her room...stuff like that. we also made sure to keep giving them attention, even though there was another person in the house. i think this has helped eliminate a lot of jealousy, but it also could have to do with their breed...some breeds are better with kids, in general, than others...but it's not an absolute that if you have, say, a rottie, it's going to attack the baby. mine are a bichon and a bichon/poodle, by the way. debtinheritorMessage #29 - 09/05/07 03:47 PMThanks, those are all good ideas. Ours is a pug/sharpei mix. I don't think we could let her sleep with the baby's hat because she would eat it (she'll eat anything.) But those are all good ideas. The problem is her crate is in our 2nd bedroom and if we do have a baby before we move out of the condo, she'll lose her room because the baby will be moved into there. dakota4600Message #30 - 09/05/07 03:51 PMAnne We both drive Nissans and I hadn't even thought about that. I do know that when we took the Sentra (the smaller one) on vacation and had a loaded back seat it was a problem when we switched drivers. YLM That is exactly what my hubby wants to build. I hope we can find a dresser that is up to his standards, but my guess is that he will want to build it himself. Something to do with the fact that I'm caring the baby, he wants to create something. I have one "velcro" dog (where ever I go he goes in the house) and one that is ok with not being the center of attention. I'm worried about momma's boy not accepting the baby. We've done some research and have started paying him less attention now and making him lay down before he gets petted. My dogs are big and I worry about them jumping up when I bring the baby home. We are working on it now, because I figure when I start showing they might knock me off balance. We were originally thinking we could borrow a lot of baby stuff from friends and family, but everyone who already has kids is currently PG or has a newborn. So our kid will have lots of playmates.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:02:16 GMT -5
dakota4600Message #31 - 09/05/07 03:53 PMDebt My velcro dog is a sharpei lab mix. Hubby and I were reading up on it last night and they said to not let them take the scented item, but smell it. It also suggested using a leash for the first few interactions. mrslynchMessage #32 - 09/05/07 03:54 PMours sleep in our bed, so we didn't have to worry about that, thankfully! if she sleeps in a crate, then a few months before the baby is born, you could move the crate into your bedroom so she could get used to sleeping in there. that way, she won't feel like her room was "taken away". Jess HMessage #33 - 09/05/07 03:56 PMWe have the same concerns about our dog, who is now our "baby". He is a 45 pound basset hound, and is good with kids (he's afraid of most people in general, but likes little kids). He has been around our nephew when he was a baby, and just sat there as nephew tugged on his ears, put his hands near his mouth, etc., so we aren't really worried about him harming the baby. However, his lifestyle is definately going to change once there is a little one that takes more of our attention away (he is also a "velcro" dog). Luckily, he is finally out of his puppy stage, so he's mellowed out and I'm sure he'll adjust okay. Holly SmithMessage #34 - 09/05/07 04:17 PMWe've been married for 8 years, so, needless to say, we've been intercepting baby questions for many years. DH and I have also been married for eight years. Nowadays, we're more likely to hear something like "You must not like children, then." Now that I'm pregnant, I'm so looking forward to showing these people up. As far as the buying stuff, DH and I are taking our time. We probably won't buy much until the third trimester, and then we're going according to budget. CA pays part of your salary if you want to take family leave, and I want DH to do that for the first seven weeks. We have the money set aside to do that, but not if we spend it all. debtinheritorMessage #35 - 09/05/07 04:26 PMJess - our dog is also our "baby" right now, and we call her that. She is also a "velcro" dog although I never thought of it that way, but her name is Shadow because she was my shadow. I got her before I met DH, now she shadows both of us, last night she laid on the couch out in the living room with me for a while, then decided it was his turn, so went in the computer room. She can't decide who to spend time with. anne81Message #36 - 09/05/07 05:32 PMAs we wait to find out if there's any action in the uterus LOL! Thanks for the Graco suggestions everybody - the place I went was this huge warehouse but they didn't carry that brand. Dakota - the corolla seems fine for the forward facing seats but it was the infant rear facing one that took so much space! Even with the seats pulled forward the carseat still touched the back.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:02:47 GMT -5
TwoBoys2008Message #37 - 09/05/07 07:51 PMdebtinheritor -- I don't know much about having kids, but I know quite a bit about trying to have kids. Your cervical fluid (or vaginal mucos) changes throughout your cycle. There is a point when it looks and feels like "egg whites". When you have this, it's likely that you are at your most fertile. I mentioned it earlier, and would again recommend the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility" it talks all about identifying your most fertile days, and has (gross) pictures of fertile fluid. But it helps you figure out what you are looking for. I too have a "fur" baby, and I'm not sure how my dog is going to adjust to two new babies, or "attention theifs". She used to sleep in my bed, but now sleeps in a dog bed in our room. Recently though, she has start sleeping in our bed again, at least for a while, and then moves to her bed, and then back to ours in the morning. I think she can tell somethings going on. I'm sure she is going to be jelous. She'll probably get more walks after the babies are born, because I'll be trying to get some of this weight off! VG2Message #38 - 09/05/07 08:51 PMRotties are actually very protective of children. I have a 100 lb Rott that is wonderful with children. The only thing is that sometimes toddlers fall down when she is trying to rub against them and they are still unsteady on their feet. In my experience larger dogs tend to be better with children and view them as pups. The biggest issue comes when the children get larger and the dominance game starts. I also see a large amount of people want changing tables. Did anyone with kids ever use the tables. I think I used mine once. I found it much easier to lay them on a blanket or my lap to change diapers. Really the only things I used were crib, swing, and the vibrating bouncy chair (best thing ever created). opedMessage #39 - 09/05/07 09:15 PMDid anyone with kids ever use the tables. Nope... not once. Really the only things I used were crib, swing, and the vibrating bouncy chair (best thing ever created). I second all of these... i also used my Medela Pump in Style breast pump... but then i was working at the time. anne81Message #40 - 09/05/07 09:26 PMI read somewhere that you should wrap a baby in a blanket in the hospital then bring it home for your dog to smell before you bring home the baby. You put the dog on the blanket and make a big deal out of the dog - feed them treats on it and pet them there. It makes them associate the baby's smell with goodness. boos_momMessage #41 - 09/05/07 10:18 PMI also never had a changing table, used the crib or a changing mat on the carpet. Kid did enjoy the vibrating bouncer, happily entertained herself in the crib, got a playpen for visits to relatives' homes (but not a must have), the swing wasn't so great (but might want to consider those swings that swing side-to-side as well as front-to-back; ours was just front-to-back), the baby carrier/bjorn(WONDERFUL), and the play gym on the floor (the generic was just as good as the $80 version). For baby costs once the baby is born: mostly diapers, wipes, diaper creams, cornstarch powder, formula, and doctor visits (figure 1x month and any prescriptions if using daycare, a little less if no other kids to visit with) are the most costly in the beginning. I did usually go out for walks during the day when kid was 2-3 months because I was going stir-crazy. So I factored in a lunch out several times a week, but usually had leftovers for another meal. I didn't spend that much on the baby in the beginning. Baby food is expensive! But, I didn't have time to make my own while also pumping when I returned to work. Oh, those Medela milk bags aren't cheap, ~$18 for 50, and figure on replacement parts. Don't forget bottles for those 'daddy/gma' times. Only one ToysRUs around and it's ALWAYS depleted so bought stuff online, when I had free shipping and a coupon. Cheaper than I could find around here. Car seats are extremely difficult to install properly. I have to stand in the car seat to install it in my mother's car and it's still not as secure as I'd like. I love the LATCh system, if you have it, although I have difficulty removing it from the car (probably early arthritis or carpal tunnel). Holly SmithMessage #42 - 09/05/07 10:27 PMDoes anyone have any experience with using a diaper service (particularly in SoCal)? DH and I are thinking about using one, but we need opinions and advice. I've heard from some that it's about the same price as disposable diapers, and I sure would like to keep our plastic consumption down.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:03:00 GMT -5
mrslynch Message #43 - 09/06/07 12:23 PM
i think changing tables are a matter of preference. i use mine all the time. i find it easier, especially first thing in the morning, to change my daughter on there. plus, it's off the ground, so i don't have to worry about the dogs sniffing around the dirty diaper (which they love).
livingalmostlarge Message #44 - 09/06/07 01:35 PM
Interesting, I have two bichons mrslynch and one in particular is really spoiled. We've had him for 6 years and he's 11, so I've noticed he's gotten very grouchy about being touched. He used to love kids and still lets them do what they want, but now he'll growl if they prod him too much. The other bichon adores kids and thinks they just play rough.
I'm just worried our dogs will try to sleep with baby and smother it.
I've been losing the 20 extra lbs I gained over the last few years, and I was wondering do most people lose the baby weight easily? I struggle with my weight and have to watch it constantly to be healthy. And this I wonder if it could push me over the edge?
mrslynch Message #45 - 09/06/07 02:33 PM
our bichon, who's 3, will growl a little if the baby gets into his space for too longbut he does it to me, my husband, and the other dog as well. he's very possessive of his personal space--not a fan of "space invaders". our bichon/poodle (he's 1 1/2), however, would sit on top of our baby if we would let him...he has no personal space issues at all.
with regard to losing weight...it all depends upon the person, how much weight she gained during pregnancy, etc. for instance, i have a friend who only gained 18 pounds during her first pregnancy so she got it off very quickly (within 6 weeks). i, on the other hand, gained 65 (gestational diabetes is a wonderful thing), and am still working to lose the last 20 9 months later. i, too, struggle with weight, so this last 20 is not helping at all. but, there are plenty of people who gain what i did and lose it within 6 months or so and plenty of people who only gain 20 and never lose it. i think it depends on how committed you are and how much that extra weight bothers you.
wow, i can't believe how much i have to say on this topic!
dakota4600 Message #46 - 09/06/07 02:55 PM
I can't imagine getting down on the floor to change diapers all time. Both DH and I are tall and that just doesn't sound like fun. With my niece they used her changing table all the time, it also made for a convient place to store all the diapering stuff.
I would love to do the diaper service thing, but they don't even have one where we live. It is a large midwestern city and there is nothing. I've heard from others that you can't even find the good cloth diapers to buy and wash yourself.
I have big dogs that play rough with each other and it worries me that they will see our little one as pack member and want to play that way with him.
Am I 30 Already Message #47 - 09/06/07 02:57 PM
I have Rottweilers and they absolutely LOVED my ds when he was a baby. To be honest my males (one died and I got another last year) were more accepting of him. My female just seems as if she could care less if he was there or not lol. My first male always had his head in my lap so I dont know if he had that bond with the baby or not. Whenever my ds kicked, he would jump up, look at my belly and then lay back down until the next kick came along. Oh and he also helped me roll my fat butt out of bed. DS was already 2.5 when I got my 2nd male so he already knew that he wasn't the alpha. I think dogs already know that you (the owner) is the alpha, or at least you should be! So when the kids come along, they know that's the alpha's puppies.
The one thing you will want to make sure of is that your dogs are not food agressive. I dont know any toddler that didn't stick their hand in a dog bowl. But if and when that time rolls around, you don't want the dog to snap at him or her. I constantly bothered my first 2 dogs as they were eating-bumping into them, tugging the ears or anything else I thought a child my come up and do, except for sticking my fingers in their rear ends (why do kids do this?!?!?!). So now if my son comes up to them during a feeding, they don't even pay attention to the fact that he's there.
And one more thing! Unless you want diaper filling all over your floors, dispose of them immediately and keep the garbage in a high place. I learned that one the hard way lol.
debtinheritor Message #48 - 09/06/07 03:21 PM
I agree with mrslynch about weight in that I think it's dependent upon the person. I struggle with weight loss, so DH and I are going to start eating healthier and get into an exercise routine so that when I do get pregnant we can continue with the healthy habits and hopefully I won't gain too much during pregnancy and then afterward I'll be anxious to get back to my exercise routine, even if it's just putting the baby in the stroller and going for a walk. DH's sisters are tiny. I met his youngest sister not even 2 weeks after she had her 3rd baby and you would not know she had ever been pregnant, and she doesn't even have to work at it. So it's just how your body is made, but if you struggle with losing weight now, you will probably struggle with losing weight after the baby.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:03:31 GMT -5
opedMessage #49 - 09/06/07 06:47 PMthe one step ahead company is a little pricy, but markets some unique things, not found everywhere... one thing i thought of is that they offer a stroller handle extender for those of you who are tall... here's the link... www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=176&cmSource=Search anne81Message #50 - 09/06/07 06:53 PMThanks for the link! I'm trying to lose a few pounds while simultaneously getting pregnant. . I've been told that's okay. I lost 70 lbs. over the last two years and regained a little. I have to admit having struggled to lose all that weight I'm terrified what will happen when I get pregnant. I had one lucky girlfriend who ate trashy food all the time, and when she got pregnant all she craved was fruits and vegetable! She gained only twenty-five pounds with both her pregnancies and each baby was 10 lbs.! debtinheritorMessage #51 - 09/06/07 07:10 PMThe one thing you will want to make sure of is that your dogs are not food agressive. That's a good point. I do that to my dog just because I never wanted her to be aggressive with food, so she just looks at me when I mess with her when she's trying to eat, like, are you done yet? lol Then continues to eat. Am I 30 AlreadyMessage #52 - 09/06/07 07:30 PMReally the only things I used were crib, swing, and the vibrating bouncy chair (best thing ever created). Oh I LOVED the swing! My kids are almost 8 years apart so I didn't have one with my first ds. I had a vibrating bouncy chair but since my 2nd ds was about 10 lbs at birth, he didn't stay in there long. Oh and there was that crecent shapped pillow I loved when I was breastfeeding. I forgot what it's called though. And when the kid gets to the age when he/she is trying to sit up, it helps them balance. I met his youngest sister not even 2 weeks after she had her 3rd baby and you would not know she had ever been pregnant, and she doesn't even have to work at it. So it's just how your body is made, but if you struggle with losing weight now, you will probably struggle with losing weight after the baby. If you're pregnant don't even bother to worry about weight right now. I dont know why we women beat ourselves up over it when I see a lot of guys walking around like big hairy beer guzzling cavemen lol. With my first pregnancy I gained all of 17lbs and was MISERABLE. With my 2nd I gained 39 and worked up to 2 days before I gave birth. I'm just a lil hippy now, but who doesn't like curves? debtinheritorMessage #53 - 09/06/07 07:33 PMOh and there was that crecent shapped pillow I loved when I was breastfeeding. I forgot what it's called though. And when the kid gets to the age when he/she is trying to sit up, it helps them balance. That's the Boppy pillow! I dont know why we women beat ourselves up over it when I see a lot of guys walking around like big hairy beer guzzling cavemen lol. Such a good point! Am I 30 AlreadyMessage #54 - 09/06/07 07:38 PMOh yeah the Boppy! Thanks debtinheritor! . Now I use it as a seat cushion lol.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:03:44 GMT -5
MuttleynFelixMessage #55 - 09/06/07 07:54 PM lost 70 lbs. over the last two years and regained a little. I have to admit having struggled to lose all that weight I'm terrified what will happen when I get pregnant. Anne - My SIL lost quite a bit of weight before getting pregnant with her first child and she really worked on eating healthy during her pregnancy (no soda, no chocolate, minimal junk food). She only gained maybe 20 lbs and it came right off. She is really my inspiration for what I should do if I decide to have kids. I'm just hear to read. No kids, no plans for kids for a couple years (13 more months and people will start bringing it up - I told people not talk to me about having kids until I take the professional engineers exam in Oct 2008). But I like hearing what everyone has to say and kind of get some ideas in my head in case things don't go as planned. I'm really lucky that my sister has already put stuff aside for me to have when we decide to have kids. After she had her last one she divided all of her baby stuff up between her hubby's sister and me even though neither of us were going to have kids any time soon. Former_Roomate_99Message #56 - 09/06/07 08:24 PMAnne81 and anybody else who is trying to get pregnant or could become pregnant, Remember your vitamin supplements. -70% of spinal cord defects are caused by a folic acid deficiency. -Going into a pregnancy with any kind of vitamin deficiency greatly increases your chances of morning sickness. opedMessage #57 - 09/06/07 08:46 PM-70% of spinal cord defects are caused by a folic acid deficiency. Just want to reinforce this, and to remember that folic acid is most important BEFORE you know you are pregnant... you need to take this just if you are thinking about it (frankly if there is any chance you could get pregnant it is best to have folic acid daily). anne81Message #58 - 09/06/07 10:03 PMThanks for the support Muttleyn - I'll just have to be disciplined. I've seen with my friends that are pregnant how much pressure there is to eat. Everyone says that you're eating for two - even though you only need a few hundred extra calories a day. Thanks for the advice about vitamins. I've been taking the prenatals for almost two months. I'm loving hearing that my efforts might make morning sickness more bearable! Speaking of which - they make me nauseous. I've tried a few brands. Does anyone have any advice/suggestions? KineticKidMessage #60 - 09/06/07 10:15 PMDoes anyone have any experience with using a diaper service (particularly in SoCal)? Yes! Try Dy-Dee Diaper Service: www.dy-dee.com/index.html
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:05:42 GMT -5
anne81Message #61 - 09/06/07 10:16 PMSmarter - How do you like using cloth diapers? I'm curious, a little scared, and in the dark about the process. livingalmostlargeMessage #62 - 09/06/07 10:26 PMMy dogs don't eat. Their free feeders so they eat when they feel like it or not at all. I do worry about the prenatals. What are they called? boos_momMessage #63 - 09/07/07 02:27 AManne - I'm using PreNate Elite. Those are a little easier my tummy than another rx was, talk about rocks. I am lucky that I lost most of the baby weight, 35 lbs. total with a near 8 lbs. baby, within 6 weeks (breastfeeding is great for that!), but my body shape/firmness is not the same. Rather depressing when you look at those Hollywood moms, blech. And, I was lucky my shoe size did not remain bigger. So, plan that you might need sneakers or sandals in a bigger size toward the end. debtinheritorMessage #64 - 09/07/07 12:08 PMJust want to reinforce this, and to remember that folic acid is most important BEFORE you know you are pregnant... you need to take this just if you are thinking about it (frankly if there is any chance you could get pregnant it is best to have folic acid daily). Does anyone know if a regular women's one-a-day multivitamin has folic acid? Rather depressing when you look at those Hollywood moms, blech. boos_mom - just look at it this way, normal everyday women could look like those Hollywood moms too if they could afford a nanny to take care of the baby, a personal chef to cook healthy meals, and a personal trainer to whip them into shape! Since most women actually have to take care of their own babies, it's just not feasible. The Reflector - WIRMessage #65 - 09/07/07 12:44 PMAs for the prenatal vitamins I take NataTab and they work for me. They do tend to make me a little nauseous so I take them before bed with a full glass of water which seems to help. The good thing is that they either don't make me nauseous this way or I sleep through it, the bad thing is that I really have to pee in the morning (and later in the pregnancy with DD I was getting up at 2am to pee). If vitamins make you really nauseous though you can either try taking them with food or have your OB prescribe a different one. As for the baby weight, I lost about 15 lbs before getting pregnant with DD by doing a modified South Beach Diet (my doctor put me on it for blood sugar reasons) and kickboxing twice a week. I gained 37 lbs during the pregnancy and lost most of it in the first 2 months partly because of breastfeeding and taking a lot of walks. Just listen to your body. The only time I threw up with DD was because an elderly relative was literally forcing me to eat "for two" even though I felt sick. After we left I had to make DH pull the car over and I threw it all up. Even though I took most of the weight off my body didn't quite look the same. I finally fit into my prebaby jeans but they didn't quite fit right. I'm looking forward to a time when I can finally buy clothes that look good on me without trying to plan ahead for future baby weight gain/loss. dakota4600Message #66 - 09/07/07 02:58 PMI just use the generic CVS pre-natals. My OB said the unless you have a condition/disease or can't tolerate the OTC stuff, just to buy the ones in the vitamin section. They don't bother me at all, I take them at bed time and I do wake up to pee, but they don't upset my stomach at all.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:05:56 GMT -5
Amazon HunterMessage #67 - 09/07/07 04:09 PMDebtinheritor, I take One A Day Women's and it has 100% of the recommended folic acid and iron. It doesn't seem to be too harsh on the stomach (but I have a really strong stomach, so that may not work for you). But it is not a prenatal, just a regular vitamin. AH Amazon HunterMessage #68 - 09/07/07 04:12 PMAll, My hubby and I have been talking about having a baby within the next 2 years (or so). We aren't actively trying yet as we want to pay off some bills and build up a significant EF for time off. What is the best financial advice you can give to planners? Specifically, what was the best thing that either someone told you or that you found out through trial and error. I have four kids, but I've never given birth or had an infant as two are adopted and two are my stepsons. AH Soon to be Mom of 3Message #69 - 09/07/07 05:04 PMHi Everyone! Gosh, I can't believe it's been a month since I had my boy! It's been a fun month! The first two weeks with learning to breastfeed, lack of sleep and recovering from childbirth were tough, but he's a great baby and it's getting easier every day. Congrats to SmarterthanEver for your baby girl and to all the women on here that are expecting! As far as prenatals, I went with the Kroger brand and I also took an iron supplement. When the prenatals gave me morning sickness, I took the children's gummy chewable vitamins (Doctor OK'ed it). Just make sure you take the correct dosage (the kids **** are half of the adults, so you take twice the amount). For ovulation kits and pregnancy tests, I bought mine from saveontests.com or early-pregnancy-tests.com, whichever had a better deal. I also second the recommendation to read Taking Charge of your Fertility. I tried the saliva thing, but it didnt work for me. Weight-wise, I gained right around 30 pounds and I am currently a little under 10 pounds over my pre-preggo weight. I'm not sure if it's from the breastfeeding or all the Asian herbal stuff my mom and MIL have been feeding me. (J/k, not all of it is gross, just certain foods like pig kidneys) Money-wise, I received my short term disability check (6 wks salary at 60%) in one lump sum a couple of weeks after I gave birth. My husband took the week off the first week and then he quit his job . He wasn't happy where he was and he had another one lined up (but he doesn't start until the 19th). It's been nice having him around to take the baby so I can get stuff done, like brushing my teeth, showering, etc. I have 10 more weeks off unpaid and then I have to go back to work. Hubby will be an independent contractor, so more pay, but no benefits, so it's up to me for health insurance. anne81Message #70 - 09/07/07 06:12 PMWanna_be congratulations! Amazon - I would find out exactly what your insurance covers (some people have been surprised to find out that the anesthesiologist can be extra for example) and what the exact maternity/disability leave benefits are. rusty86Message #71 - 09/07/07 07:16 PMNot that I am recommending forgoing the prenatal vitamins, but I had a girlfriend who had trouble with them (keeping them down....upset her tummy too much). Her OB said that eating a bowl or 2 of Total cereal every day would be an okay alternative. SHe felt much better and the baby was just fine.... No one else has told me that since though.... Amazon...some little things that I learned (financially) in having my child - yes I agree investigate what your insurance covers and what your company policy is on leave. I was lucky to get 8 weeks paid at 100% (I was a salaried ee....hourly got 60%) - The OB will usually have a lump cost for the entire pregnancy and usually can tell you how much you will need to pay out of pocket at that point.....outside lab services, anesthesiogist and hospital costs are not part of that so you may want to check on that coverage as well. - Little things - certain things that you have to have ...well you might not ever use...the baby swing...godsend to eating dinner with my husband for 30 minutes every night....but the baby bjorn baby carrier....too much trouble putting together for me to use....check with some moms on things they thought were more of a waste than not. - I got 3 strollers at my shower....travel system, jogger stroller, and umbrella....We used the jogger more frequently once the infant carrier wasn't used (20 pounds) just because it was easier to fold up, the wheel were sturdier, etc.....my husband was also a runner. Do you need 3? probably not, but the travel system was nice when he was in the carrier, but I wish I would have borrowed one rather than had someone purchase it. - Day Care....if you plan on going back to work...you may want to start looking at places while you are pregnant - to price around and see what you want - home care, day care centers etc....It's a bit overwhelming to drive to places to look and make phone calls once the baby comes. You will also have an idea of cost prior to the big day. In some cases you will also find there are waiting lists for infant care because of the ratios required to care for them. My employer had a great resource that you may find in your area (or something similar to it) Child Care Resources....I called them, told them where I lived and they sent me a list of licensed home care and centers within my requested distance...they also sent some questions to ask to help guide you (I was so clueless and I really appreciated this) - Biggest advice I wish I never followed...washing all clothes before wearing or ahead of time.!!! I was so prepared and cut off all the tags and washed everything...because my son was bigger than average and grew so fast I "wasted" so many pieces of clothing during that 0-6 mth stage!....I started to leave the tags on and wash as I needed....if he outgrew a size I would take the clothes with the tags still on and exchange them for the next size. Am I 30 AlreadyMessage #72 - 09/07/07 07:34 PMNot that I am recommending forgoing the prenatal vitamins, but I had a girlfriend who had trouble with them (keeping them down....upset her tummy too much). I had issues with iron pills (I'm severly anemic). My doctor gave me a list of things to eat so I was able to cut down on the pills (I was supposed to take 3 or 4 a day!). Pregnancy isn't some cookie cutter type of experience so always ask your doctor about natural ways to take in the nutrients that you need if you can't handle the pills. As rusty said, every state has a child care council. I know in NY you're even able to look up the violations that the daycare had/has. I was also able to find out the prices from them as well. I found that home daycares were ALOT easier for me. The centers would close for snow days (on school district's schedule) and I rarely get snow days at my job. One thing I never took was lamaze. I dont know if that's something any of you ladies were considering. I know women who did and the whole breathing thing went right out the window lol. The nurses, doctors and midwives coach you anyway. Keep DH involved! I see a lot of women take over the parenting 100% because they doubt their DH's when handling a newborn. Then later on they complain that they never change a diaper. This usually comes around the time diaper changing smells so bad it'll wake the dead. And while DH will do that, or bath time, feedings, playing, etc. you can get some well deserved rest.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:06:20 GMT -5
opedMessage #73 - 09/07/07 07:36 PMSHe felt much better and the baby was just fine.... I wasn't the best with the actual pre-natal vitamins either... they made me kinda sick... so i won't lecture too much, but it is important to remember that, if you are getting any nutrients then the baby should be fine... its you who will be deficient... the baby will take its nutrients from your body first... (if you are nursing and pregnant than your breasts will get the nutrients second)... and you will get them last... In many countries without our level or prenatal care you will see mothers who experience health problems, and particulalry teeth problems, after they have multiple children... this is in part due to babies leeching the nutrients from their mothers (or at least this is how it was explained to me...). boos_momMessage #74 - 09/07/07 08:02 PMdebtinheritor - you forgot: the plastic surgeon to do a little tummy tuck, which is really what I would love, and maybe a boob job as breastfeeding shrunk my boobs to a pre-pubescent size ! But oh well... I just use nicely padded bras (see below for more). amazon - plan as much as you can, but also anticipate that unexpected things will come up and just go with it. You may use up more sick days than planned due to all day nausea, or spending money on clothes that don't have you sweating up a storm or running fans/ or ac more (because you will feel like an oven), or buying a little more takeout because you need to eat something that you can keep down and you don't have whatever it is at home. Or buying a bunch of non-underwire bras to replace your entire bra collection because you can no longer stand to wear underwires anymore... Weird stuff. Test out the 'baby budget' before baby actually arrives (daycare, formula, diapers, etc.) and save all that extra for the anything that comes up. Another item to consider that might be useful -- a reclining, rocking LazyBoy chair. Didn't get the glider chair as those are hard on my knees, but oh that Lazy Boy was awesome for getting some sleep with the baby who wouldn't nap unless on top of you! And I wasn't really thinking we needed it (DH's purchase), but I was sold on it in a few weeks. Oh, don't forget about the Mommy shirt trick. A used shirt as the baby's blanket was great when baby was a couple of months old and sleeping better. Jess HMessage #75 - 09/07/07 08:19 PMJust wanted to chime in about the prenatal vitamins. I am on prescription ones, NatalCare GT tablets, which haven't upset my system at all (and I've been on them for over a year and a half- since we first started trying). I have a pretty sensitive stomach, etc., so I would recommend trying them if you've had issues with the other kinds. I think that the reason many doctors recommend prenatal vitamins as opposed to the Women's One-A-Day types are because they have more than the 100% folic acid and iron, because you need more than enough for you since it is supposed to be for the baby. But, I'm not a doctor, so don't quote me on it- that was just my understanding of the difference. Now if only my pregnancy would give me cravings for fresh fruits and veggies instead of pizza, we would be in great shape! MittenKittenMessage #76 - 09/07/07 09:01 PMHi All, I also am expecting unexpectly (BC failed.) Around the end of April. (Boos_mom, I will trade places with you ) Anyways thought we were done as we have a 4 year old, 16 month old and I have a 10 year old step son. Oh well sometimes life has other plans. A great book I read while I was pregnant with my first is "the Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" A pretty realistic book funny also. Prenatals: I believe the non prenatal vitamins only have 400 units of Folic Acid, the prenatals have 800. So that is why prenatals are recommended. But some is better then none. I didn't do a prenatal before I was pregnant but just a regular vitamin and my kids are fine. Changing table: IMO a waste of money. We used the floor and or put a changing pad on a dresser. Also note baby wipe warmers are not recommended as they promote bacterial growth in the wipes. Also more then likely you will get a TON of stuff at baby showers, in fact tell people NOT to buy you baby clothes or tell them to buy you clothes for when the baby is 6 months, 12 months etc. You kind find them keep at stores on clearance (buy a year in advance.) thrift stores and garage sales. I agree with the other posters the most important things for us were: Pak N Play (used the basinet piece for the first 2 months in our bedroom so didn't need a basinet.) Crib, stroller/carseat combo, Bobby, bouncer, baby swing (this was a LIFE SAVER for both our sons.) DIAPERS. No one uses cloth around here and no daycares I knew of would so we used disposable. MittenKittenMessage #77 - 09/07/07 09:08 PMIf I may give some advice from what I have learned. Breastfeeding will help you loose the weight, pumping however did not for me. My first son refused to breast feed so I pumped the entire first year of his life. Also make sure you attempt to breastfeed within the first hour after birth. With my first I had a new nurse and they didn't have me do so, I wonder to this day if that is why he had such a hard time. My second they had me try soon after birth and he NEVER took a bottle. Also when the baby sleeps don't wake him/her if you don't have to. They will wake when they truly need something. Make sure to have a spare set of crib sheets and mattress pads, when baby blows a diaper in the middle of the night you NEED these. Urpies, we found that cloth diapers worked the best. Crib Bumpers/Quilts and all that really cute stuff is a waste of money, if you want it fine, but be aware you can't use it and the quilt will be hanging on the wall. Blanket Sleepers as previously mentioned are a necessity. Babies after awhile will not stay wrapped in a blanket and here in Minnesota it gets cold. This way they stay nice and warm. Hope this helps opedMessage #78 - 09/07/07 11:33 PMBreastfeeding will help you loose the weight, pumping however did not for me. My first son refused to breast feed so I pumped the entire first year of his life. Also make sure you attempt to breastfeed within the first hour after birth. Breastfeeding will help until the last few pounds.... your body will retain a few as 'reserve' for the work it has to do breastfeeding. I didn't learn this until after i had kids, but try to breastfeed as soon as the child is born... before you are both cleaned up... aparently there have been studies... cases... whatever... and even if a child is born in an emergency, alone, and the mother passes out, the child can by smell find the breast to nurse... however, as soon as that initial "scent bond" for want of a better term, is broken, then it is broken... not that you can't nurse after that of coarse, but it is apparently easier to establish in those first few minutes before everyone gets a bath... something to think about for the birth plan. when baby blows a diaper in the middle of the night you NEED these LMAO... And hats off to you for pumping for an entire year mittenkitten... my daughter couldn't latch on and i only managed to give her 6 weeks of exclusive breast milk and then tapered off... i don't think she got any after 6 months. Of coarse she was my second and pumping with a toddler and infant was pretty challenging... kudos to you though.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:06:34 GMT -5
rusty86Message #79 - 09/08/07 12:02 AMThe books What to Expect when you are Expecting...then the one for the First Year and then the Toddler Years were great for me....They answered a lot of questions for me and made me not feel so dumb along the way.... Too bad they didn't continue the series...sometimes I could use the reassurance that these stages too shall pass! livingalmostlargeMessage #80 - 09/09/07 12:54 PMI'm with my bro and SIL this weekend and their son. My brother every night does bath time, his solo bonding time with David. Anyway my mom is here too and commented, how nice it is that men are becoming hands-on and involved parents. Yep parenting by that generation was solely the women's responsibility. dakota4600Message #81 - 09/11/07 03:24 PMSomeone mentioned getting disability. I looked into after our wedding and every agent I talked to said that it wouldn't cover pregnancy related time off. Even if I was ordered to go on bedrest. Just curious what kind of insurance you have? Jess HMessage #82 - 09/11/07 03:45 PMhey dakota, I know my employer-provided disability insurance covers 6 weeks for a normal birth and 8 weeks for a C-section, but I'm not sure if independent insurance policies also cover pregnancy. It would also cover if you couldn't work due to doctor-ordered bedrest. Ours is through Metlife, if that helps. It's a nice benefit, too bad I won't be working here after about another 6 weeks- will be moving out-of-state for DH's new job. debtinheritorMessage #83 - 09/11/07 04:20 PMdebtinheritor - you forgot: the plastic surgeon to do a little tummy tuck, which is really what I would love, and maybe a boob job as breastfeeding shrunk my boobs to a pre-pubescent size ! But oh well... I just use nicely padded bras (see below for more). boos_mom - my SIL got a boob job after having her 3 kids. Breastfeeding left her with less than she had in high school, to the point where she didn't need a bra, so she got a bonus at work 2 years ago and talked to my brother about it, and decided to get a boob job. I think it's great, it makes her feel better about herself! I myself would be happy if when I have kids and breastfeed (hopefully) that they make mine shrink some!! lol I take Women's One-a-Day vitamins now, so I guess when I see the dr. next I should ask about prenatal vitamins. I'm due to see her in January, which is when we're going to start trying, so that will work. The Reflector - WIRMessage #84 - 09/11/07 05:16 PMDebtinheritor, go ahead and call your doctor so they can go ahead and prescribe the prenatal vitamins now. It's actually more important to take them in the 3 months before you get pregnant than later in your pregnancy (at least that's what my doctor told me). The sleep sacks really are worth it. Also there were some swaddling blankets with velcro that I used a lot for the first couple of months, I think they were by Kidappotamus. I really needed the velcro because I am apparently really bad at swaddling, DD could work her way out of regular blankets in 5 seconds and then would start screaming! I think they sell them at BabiesRUS. I have finally gotten my appetite back, but all I want is junk food and cold cuts! At least I have stabilized our grocery bill a bit, thanks for all the advice on that. I try to keep my grocery bill to $80 per week, this week I was at $83 so not nearly as bad as the last few weeks.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:06:58 GMT -5
boos_momMessage #85 - 09/11/07 06:59 PMdakota -- the group (personal) disability insurance I can buy through my employer also would not cover pregnancy/recovery time. However, the state TDI disability coverage that my employer HAS to buy for the employees would cover the physical recovery time IF I qualified for it in terms of having less than a given amount of sick leave accumulated. But, if I have more than the given amount, even if it doesn't cover the full six-weeks of recovery time, then I'd still have to take leave without pay or use my vacation time. I have a question for you parents of school aged children. What is a normal wardrobe? How many outfits/pieces of clothes for school, going out and play time do you buy for your kids? Do you have enough for 2 weeks worth of clothes? How often do you have to replace clothes due to growth spurts? rusty86Message #86 - 09/11/07 07:04 PM have a question for you parents of school aged children. What is a normal wardrobe? How many outfits/pieces of clothes for school, going out and play time do you buy for your kids? Do you have enough for 2 weeks worth of clothes? How often do you have to replace clothes due to growth spurts? This changes for me all the time as my son gets older and grows...he is 7 now and very active, rough and tumble... Generally we end up buying a pair of sneakers every 2-3 months - mostly because they have holes in them and just aren't acceptable....I get them at Kohls or Target on sale. He wears them almost every day to school because he either has gym or is out on the playground at least 2 times a day plus playing at home....we have given up on Nice sneakers vs play sneakers because he grows out of them so fast. Clothing....he probably has about 4 pairs of sweats that he wears to school and out to play (since he is outside so much it is hard to distinguish from "play clothes" since they all get filthy every day. He has about 2 pairs of jeans and 2 pairs of "nicer sweats" - nylon or lined, and 1 pair of khakis....Then about 7 nice shirts to wear out and about 15+ t shirts. He has more sweats mostly because if I get pants to fit his waist they are way too long and it gets frustrating so sweats are more manageable for him and his lifestyle..... Now I purchase as he needs them with growth spurts, but generally try to get through the school year and into shorts for the summer if I can help it and deal with the new sizes in September. He may have a little more or less in shirts and stuff...his bday is in Oct and then with Xmas my family will get him some clothes as well...I tell them to go a size up from where he is or if he really needs a replacement of something I give his current size..... Am I 30 AlreadyMessage #87 - 09/11/07 08:05 PMI really needed the velcro because I am apparently really bad at swaddling, DD could work her way out of regular blankets in 5 seconds and then would start screaming! I've watched those nurses and I've tried and tried but to no avail, I can't get the swaddling thing down myself lol. What is a normal wardrobe? How many outfits/pieces of clothes for school, going out and play time do you buy for your kids? I have 2 sons so the mix and matching of their clothes is pretty easy. Although I wish there was more of a variety of girls clothes than boys. I mean the girls get like 75% of the store sometimes lol. Anywho, I buy shorts, jeans, sweats, t-shirts, polos and long sleeve items. Between recess for my soon to be 11 year old and the tumbling around at daycare for my 3 year old, that's all they need. I'm grew up with kids dressing up for parties and special school functions. But where I live now they don't dress kids up at all! For my ds's graduation there were quite a few kids that looked as if there was nothing special going on. Even most of the parents looked as if they were dragged away from yard work to attend. I'm grew up with kids dressing up for parties and special school functions. But now I think the only dress up outfit I bought was for the oldest ds for his graduation. He probably wont even fit it next year so if there is something else that comes up, I'll buy it then. I've been to a few weddings in the last few years where children weren't invited so that's yet another function I don't buy dress up clothing for. Heather953Message #88 - 09/11/07 09:42 PMToday, I was at work. I was putting a transaction thru and the woman was umming and awwing over a medium or large sized top. I said, "Well, the medium fits very well." And she replied, "Yes, but I'm pregnant." So I suggested, "Go for the large and it will give you room to grow." She said, "Well, I only have 2 months left." I almost fell over because she didn't look pregnant (there was a small budge when her belly was exposed taking off the sweater), and apparently, all of her three other pregnancies were the same. She couldn't have been any bigger than a size 8. Imagine how much money you'd save if your dress size didn't change during pregnancy! anne81Message #89 - 09/11/07 10:52 PM Imagine how much money you'd save if your dress size didn't change during pregnancy! Scary! Do you think she's a bit of a weight freak?+ azure skyMessage #90 - 09/12/07 01:26 AMThank you all for the thread! I have been lurking on this one. I think DH and I will start trying in March, and I just started taking prenatal vitamins yesterday (no problems with those yet, fingers crossed....). I have been trying to soak up the wisdom on this board
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:07:12 GMT -5
Susan in TexasMessage #91 - 09/12/07 02:56 AMBoos mom, Good to hear from you again! My sons' school has a uniform, so I have five days' worth of khaki shorts or long trouser, depending on the weather, plus six days' worth of uniforn shirts. The school has us send an extra with the little ones in case of accidents. We have two church outfits and one "good" outift, plus assorted t-shirts and shorts for weekends. Three pairs of shoes: tennis shoes, loafers and sandals. Coats, lighter jackets and swimsuits for each. I should note that this is what I am willing to buy; we always end up with more because we have generous relatives, whether by means of hand-me-downs or retail shopping. But that is what I think they NEED. boos_momMessage #92 - 09/12/07 07:26 AMHi Susan! Nice to see you, too. I still remember your advice from my early thread. We did decide to try for another one. We'll see how that goes! Thanks for the feedback on older kids' clothing needs. DD gets rather filthy at preschool now (she manages to get dirt into her panty every day, so imagine what the outer clothes look like), so I have a ton of play clothes for her so I can space out my laundry days a little further apart (since I have a HE washer and can put a lot of clothes in to make a full load). Of course, I doubt she'll go through major growth spurts since we're all rather vertically-challenged, but I don't want to have excess clothes that she never uses. I would love to have uniforms at school, but I don't think our district elementary has one. So much simpler and less likely to cause 'tween angst'. If no uniforms, I think the 'less is more' approach will be the first I will try. AmI30 - I have bought a fair amount of nicer clothes for DD for dressing up for going out and parties. Unfortunately because girls have such a wide variety of styles and outfits, I've been sucked in and bought things (even if on clearance) that we haven't exactly used enough yet... I'm not that 'girly' but I wish I had gotten to play with the dolls more when I was little. Might've saved me some money now! So, instead of buying myself any clothes (last I got was a couple of blouses at the thrift store and before that was my maternity clothes), I buy the kid some of the cute outfits that I find. At least bigger kids' clothing doesn't look quite so cute, so there's hope yet. RE: the 'small' lady at 7 months. Too bad you can't see her at 9 months. I think I really 'popped' after 7 months. That's when the baby really starts to get bigger. Most of the people in my office didn't find out I was preggers til I was about 6 months along and that was from overhearing my co-worker rather than 'seeing' it. I didn't gain too much weight the first 2 trimesters, thanks to the praying to the porcelain god, but I sure looked very pregnant by 9 months. And, the prenatals were best taken right before bed (not after dinner) as that was the least likely time I would throw up. I am rather nervous about getting pregnant again. They say it's either worse or better. I don't think I can take worse... Any opinions on how your subsequent pregnancies and/or births went? Susan in TexasMessage #93 - 09/12/07 03:15 PMBoo's Mom, I'll have to go look up that advice . Thanks! It's always nice when people remember what you write/say! Subsequent pregnancy was similar to the first in many ways. There's a big "but" here, though. The first was an exception in that twins are a complicated pregnancy, so even though it was very healthy by the standards of a twin pregnancy--I carried them to 37 weeks with no bedrest for me and no NICU for them--I did have some health issues that had to be managed. IdAngel, I hope you're reading this one! I rested when I was tired, which was most of the time, and never pushed myself physically. I also got astonishingly fat, even with the advice of a nutritionist. I didn't mind the fat, though, when my smaller son weighed only 5 pounds five ounces; what would have happened to him if I had focused on keeping myself thin? It's too scary to think about for long. Here's where my pregnancies were more similar. I was sick for the standard 12 weeks with my (single) daughter vs 16 weeks with the boys, but "sick" felt pretty much the same. My friends who vomited at the drop of a hat also did it with each pregnancy, so I don't think that changes much, unfortunately. I also gained, adjusting for my starting weight and the weight of two babies vs one, about the same amount of weight. The other thing that almost all of us have experienced is that you start showing almost right away. The baby "pops" at about the same time, but you will probably find you need maternity clothes a lot earlier. You may not look pregnant to anyone else, but the difference in your comfort is drastic. At least you'll be getting your money's worth from them! Good luck. And Holly, Reflector, and everyone else...CONGRATULATIONS! anne81Message #94 - 09/12/07 04:45 PMThe other thing that almost all of us have experienced is that you start showing almost right away. That's what I've noticed with one of my friends. With her first baby she didn't show for months. With her second baby we were having lunch and I looked at her and said "you're pregnant." We argued back and forth, she took the test, and it turns out she was only five weeks along. She didn't get much bigger for awhile, but it was obvious pretty quickly. _Formerly_ ABFMessage #95 - 09/12/07 05:24 PMI've been lurking on this thread ( I think I may be getting the first faint strains of baby fever... this is the first time I've said it out loud because it scares the BEJEZUZ outta me, and I couldn't have said it to anyone but an "anonymous" board, so don't tell!!! ) and thought I'd post my question about children's clothing. My mom had a ton of stuff as I was growing up (work clothes, nice-going-out clothes, a couple of FANCY things, and a lot of around-the-house stuff) and looking back, I wonder if that's why I think it's so normal that I have so much clothing as well. Anyone have any thoughts on this, if the parents' wardrobes impact the child's perception of "enough" as an adult??? Any opinions on how your subsequent pregnancies and/or births went? Caveat: not my pregnancies, but those of family/friends. All my cousins (and my mom said it happened to her too) "popped" earlier AND felt/looked pregnant earlier. One friend said the early-pregnancy exhaustion was much worse with her second. My mom said labor for my younger sister was easier and faster than with me (she only has the two of us). With her second baby we were having lunch and I looked at her and said "you're pregnant." We argued back and forth, she took the test, and it turns out she was only five weeks along. She didn't get much bigger for awhile, but it was obvious pretty quickly. Holy cow, anne! That's amazing. You must be really perceptive!!! Am I 30 AlreadyMessage #96 - 09/12/07 05:48 PMScary! Do you think she's a bit of a weight freak? It can happen. My first pregnancy was the hardest. I only gained 17lbs and the doctors thought I was starving myself. Totally not the case. I did have nausea throughout the 9 months though. It was to the point where they told me to put down the milk and pick up the milkshakes (what a perk) lol. So to answer Boo's question about the differences here they are: Preg. #1: Age-19 Total weight gained-17 Ds's weight-8lbs 6oz. Total time in labor-13 long hours. It was natural, no pain killers and I thought that was going to be the end of me! Preg. #2: Age-27 Total weight gained-39lbs Ds's weight-9lbs 13oz. Total time in labor-9 hours. Same as above (natural, no pain killers) but it was ALOT easier this time around. I worked up until 2 days before the birth. I didn't tell the ex until almost 2 hours later that I was in labor. He was the nervous type.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:07:36 GMT -5
anne81Message #97 - 09/12/07 05:56 PMHoly cow, anne! That's amazing. You must be really perceptive!!! Thanks but - my friend is really slender. All of the sudden she had a little tummy and every time she bent over I was staring at her boobs! LOL! I'm straight - and I still couldn't stop looking. boos_momMessage #98 - 09/12/07 06:31 PMMy friend at work was on her second pregnancy and I commented to her how she was showing a lot for being so early (even with the showing earlier phenomenon). Turned out she was having twins! Anne, I agree that the boobs get the most noticeable changes early on. And for us less endowed folks, that would be easy to notice. [btw, did anyone see Christina Aguilera's picture on the gossip page? She looks like she's wearing Madonna's cone bras! Wow! Duh, she's pregnant.] ABF - I do think your parents' wardrobes (and everything else) probably skew your idea of 'normal'. So, yes my mom is a hoarder so I work on trying not to overbuy or keep extra stuff, but it doesn't always work. So, that's why I had to ask because I know my normal is not normal. I'm glad I'm not the only one though! And don't worry, if the baby fever is just starting, it may take a while to reach a high pitch (or you could just zoom up there in no time). Good time to do a reassessment of your future goals though! Amazon HunterMessage #99 - 09/12/07 08:36 PMAm I 30, I wanted to know how difficult it was to go through natural child birth. Maybe you could email me the answer as it isn't really appropriate for this board. I am contemplating the options for when we start trying to have a baby and, frankly, epidural scares the **** out of me. Thanks [ mailto:amazonhunter81@yahoo.com] amazonhunter81@yahoo.com AH Heather953Message #100 - 09/12/07 10:51 PMAnne81, I hope she wasn't a weight freak for the baby's sake but you never know. Amazon, I'm the exact opposite - the idea of popping out a kid without pain killers scares the **** outta me! Actually, having children scares me - I mean, those are people who are very impressionable with everything. One wrong move and they're in therapy until they're ready to have their own children. Hrm...lol anne81Message #101 - 09/12/07 11:09 PMI went to Old Navy today to return something and swung by the maternity section. They had amazing stuff on clearance! I got two of those extra long tank tops for 3.99 each. They also had capri sweats and full length sweats for 9.99. I picked up a few of the things I saw my pregnant friends live in. Amazon HunterMessage #102 - 09/14/07 11:44 PMHeather953, I wasn't saying without pain killers, just not an epidural. When it comes time though, I think I will try without and reserve the right to change my mind. Question: Does anyone use cloth diapers and are they worth the amount of savings vs. inconvenience of having to constantly wash them?
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:07:50 GMT -5
ylm23Message #103 - 09/16/07 06:06 PMwe're not using cloth (long story) but we looked into it and it didn't seem that bad. first, they have all kinds now, some are fitted like disposables and even have velcro so they are easy to use. The way to make it easy from what I heard is to get solid stuff into the toilet then the diaper in a pail with water and some detergent and just let the diapers pile up in there for the day or so and then do the load of laundry. also, about the showing ... I was showing by the 5th month but really popped some time in the 7th (I'm in my 9th now, she's ready to come any time). I know a woman having her 2nd child, due 4 months after me and our bellies are pretty close to the same size! And I am not a weight freak at all, in fact I've been baking a bit too often lately . amazonhunter - i plan to try for a no-drugs child birth, i'll let you know how it goes (if it goes, I am leaving the door open for anything). Amazon HunterMessage #104 - 09/17/07 10:06 PMThanks for the info. I think that the advice here will help some in my financial planning for baby. MP DunleaveyMessage #105 - 09/17/07 11:22 PMTerrific thread, everyone. I hope it keeps current for all the expectant mothers-to-be. Congratulations to all who are expecting and delivering, too. My son will have his first birthday in a couple of weeks, and this gives me the opportunity to reflect back on the hidden costs that surprised me. First of all, food--for him!! I breast-fed exclusively for three months, part-time for nine, and would have thought that meant I wasn't shopping for the kid. BUT--breast-feeding was tough. In the beginning it was almost impossible. My health insurance plan didn't cover a lactation consultant, so the several sessions I had with one were paid for out of pocket--quite a few hundred dollars when all was said and done. Then--formula. For anyone who even supplements breast-feeding with formula, those cans of Enfamil and Similac--to say nothing of organic varieties--are EXPENSIVE. After my little guy weaned we figured we were spending almost $20 a week just feeding him--a figure large enough to throw into the budget, for sure. Now he's on cow's milk and even though he's drinking organic we're feeling less of a pinch. And don't turn down hand-me-downs. Kids get dirty--you'll be amazed how many clothes they go through. boos_momMessage #106 - 09/18/07 03:29 AMLuckily, we have a Mother's Milk organization, non-profit, and free! They did say you could donate voluntarily, but I guess most folks do not as the nurse was surprised when I did drop in a check. I think a lot of the consultants volunteer their time when they are not working as nurses at a hospital, so it's a low-cost operation. But, it was absolutely the best thing for an anxious, first-time mother. I went a couple of times as we did have a feeding problem in the 2nd week as well. For little babies, you can have 10 diaper changes a day or more, so that's 10 opportunities for accidents, so I did have a bunch of onesies. Being in the potty training stage, washing out the training panties is a pain, so I can't imagine doing it for 10 cloth diapers a day. If you have a diaper service, that might be easier, but then how do you know how clean the diapers really are? And, if you do it yourself, you need to have really hot water, so your water heater would use more electricity. re: drugs, I was open to going all natural or having the epidural. However, I didn't anticipate the pitossin (due to a ruptured bag), so that may have impacted the process of going all natural. All I know is that when the contractions are barely 5 seconds apart and the nurse said it would be another 3 hours or so before actual pushing, I said "Give it to me!" If I didn't take it, I wouldn't have the strength to push for 1.5 hours and probably would've needed a c-section to get the baby out as I was ready to pass out after my last push. So it really depends on each individual delivery and person. Good luck, amazon! I'll still try for natural next time if it's possible. MittenKittenMessage #107 - 09/18/07 03:42 AMEpidural ALL the way for me. When asked what my birth plan was by the nurses I answered Epirdural ASAP. They laughed and said "good birth plan." Especially with my second. Had back labor and could barely speak when I got into the birthing room. After the Epidural things were MUCH better. When it came time to push I could feel the pressure to push but not the pain. I use store brand disposable diapers. However DO invest in the reusable swimmers, much cheaper and work great. With my 4 year old we did use brand name diapers at night as he would wet through the store brand ones. I nursed my youngest exclusively (he was unable to take a bottle.) So no formula. The 4 year old I pumped for a year, as he refused to nurse (figured it would put him to sleep and he didn't want to sleep.) Some formula but not a lot. I also qualified for WIC so that helped. Babyfood is EXPENSIVE. ended up making it for the youngest. Will make it for this one also. When I would go to the store for babyfood only and it cost me $20 it was time to change habits opedMessage #108 - 09/18/07 04:06 AMI never had the epideral option... both times i stalled out around 4 cm... they won't give you an epideral that early because there is no gaging how many hours (or days) it will keep up... afterwards i seem to shoot right to 8 and then quickly on to 10... bypassing any chance to get one. I'm not really sorry. I didn't really want an epideral... the second time i was really ready for some morphine though... pretty much demanded it... said you are not sending me home again, you are giving me a bed and something to let me sleep... (at least one nurse didn't believe i was in labor, as i had been in 3 times in 36 hours and was still at 3 cm)... i still remember drifting off, it was the best feeling ever and although i did not sleep the entire 4 hours they said i would, and actually woke up about half an hour later with that urge to pee which is not really an urge to pee (i was at 8 cm)... i think having that half hour was just enough to get me through ... but then the end was really short both times...
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:08:14 GMT -5
Susan in Texas Message #109 - 09/18/07 04:30 AM
Amazon,
I agree with you on fear of epidurals. Even so, I've had two. The best advice I can give is not to put yourself in a position where you can't get anesthesia if you need it. I was induced with my boys and it hurt indescribably; I can only agree with the author who said there comes a time when you will take an epidural even if they tell you it will be administered through your eyeballs. My doctor and I had agreed on Demerol; turns out it makes me stoned but does little to ease pain. The epidural was an outright gift from God at that point.
With my daughter I labored at home for several hours, taking a walk with DH and our sons and even eating dinner out on our patio. I got up to walk around, stretch and breathe deeply every few minutes, but the pain really was not that bad. However, once I got to the hospital, around 8:30 PM, I asked for an epidural so that I could nap if this went on all night. I could have waited, really, but I wanted the person fiddling with my spinal cord to be AWAKE. Other mom friends of mine report the same experience; that is, it wasn't that it hurt so much, it's more that pain wears you out, and at some point you have to rest so you can face the pain again. I should add that pain doesn't just stop after the baby is born. There are reasons why you shouldn't leave the hospital for at least 48 hours....
Pain relief is a good thing to talk to your doctor about beforehand. Do your research, ask questions, decide what you want to do and confirm it with your doctor. The important thing is that if you decide you need pain relief after all, don't feel like you somehow "failed" childbirth. Walking out of the hospital in one piece and with a healthy baby are the important things.
Good luck!
1sttime2bedebtfree Message #110 - 09/18/07 05:21 AM
Great thread. I just read the whole 10 pages at once, so forgive me that I don't remember specific names/questions.
We have a ds who will be 7 in a few months that came at 34 weeks (under 4 lbs.) because I had preeclampsia. Spent 14 days in NICU and didn't BF well at all. I made it one month with him. I wanted new things with him for the experience of it, but ended up getting hand me downs and I was and am thrilled with the tiny amount of money we spent. I had a c-sect. with him and the dr. fee, anesthesia fee, hospital fee and operating room fee (not including the surgical asst. who billed seperately) are things to think of. We pd. $250 for the dr, $650 for anesthesia, 30 copay for the asst and 150 a day to $1000 out of pocket maximum for mine and ds's NICU stay. If you are in a position of needing to stay and/or your baby is in NICU ask to speak to a medical social worker. They will check your insurance plans and give you the details of what you will have to pay. All while you are recovering. All hospitals should have them (also lactation specialists or check with your pediatricians office for free) and if your hospital has a NICU, they will Definately get in touch with you.
Our DD was born at 29 weeks and was under 2 lbs and just turned 1! I was a repeat c-sect. and went home after 2 days. She stayed for 7 wks and qualified for social security insurance that acted like a secondary policy to our primary ins. because she was so early and so little, she was classified as having a disability. For those of you having twins and facing the threat of NICU stay and possible early delivery, keep that in mind. It was the difference between paying $350,000 and $7500 for us. Yowzers huh?
We received as hand me downs for my dd the following: boppy, swing, bassinet(because she was a preemie I didn't want to leave her in her own room when she came home), jumperoo, pack and play and clothes for the first 12 months. We only purchased a carseat/stroller combo, playmat and my mom bought her a crib (we chose a cheap $100 crib from walmart that works just great).
DD received exclusive breastmilk for 2 months then went to Enfacare (high calorie formula) This is where being frugal in the major purchases helped us...each 12 oz can was $13. That was about 185 per month for 6 months. AGHHH. We use Target brand diapers (for size 3 it is $13.79 for 104). they are similar to huggies and are .13 per diaper, buy wipes in bulk. If you are pregnant now, get on the similac and enfamil registries online so they start sending you $10, $7, $5, etc off checks for formula when you deliver just in case you need them.
I don't feel like we spend that much money on her, though with the 5 years of trying, and 7 miscarriages we did rack up the medical bills for DD.
We did use the pee on a stick ovulation sticks. Walmart, target, generic brands. If you get the same result 2 months in a row, you are probably on a set cycle. I would be day 14 no matter if I was a 28 day cycle or a 34 day cylce. I began to learn my "symptoms" that coincided with a positive stick result.
As for the vitamins, I couldn't tolerate them with either of my kids. I took folic acid pills that you can find in the vitamin section (folate) making sure it was 800 per day minimum (specialist recommended for getting and sustaining a pregnancy). Your body flushes out extra as I was told. I also took children's chewables in the adult dosage.
As for differences in pregnancies, I was not sick AT ALL in the beginning with my DS and I was SOOOO naseaus with my DD for 12 weeks. I got preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome with DS and wasn't sick at all with my DD, but she was IUGR(intra uterine growth restricted.) I did get uncomfortable sooner with all my 8 pregnancies after my DS. The boobs were sore and would grow, and then shrink back...boob job does sound good about now...LOL. K, Sorry to ramble, but there were 10 pages of questions. Hope to help someone! BTW, both of my kids are healthy as a horse and on their growth charts and totally normal now. Stubborn and
Jess H Message #111 - 09/18/07 01:09 PM
question about maternity clothes for all experienced moms
As my pregnancy progresses, I am starting to wonder when people typically need to start wearing maternity clothes. I am a little over 9 weeks along now, and everything fits fine (haven't gained any weight yet), but I am hoping to be able to hold off on buying any new clothes until after we have our big move out of state- at that point I will be about 15 weeks along.
I know that everyone starts showing at different times, but I was just wondering what all of you found during your pregnancies. A little info about me: I am 24 and this is my first pregnancy. I am 5 feet tall and weight about 111. I have an average build (not super-skinny, but not "big"), and am somewhat fit- not a lot of extra fat.
Also, once I do need maternity clothes, what were some essential pieces you couldn't live without? I don't want to buy tons of stuff I'm only going to be wearing for a few months.
oped Message #112 - 09/18/07 01:19 PM
First pregnancy I didn't wear any maternity clothes at all until maybe the 5th month... the second pregnancy i think i started wearing them the 2nd... not only got bigger faster, but was so nauseous i couldn't stand anything to be even the slightest bit snug against my skin... It is so hard to tell and this is such a variable thing, but as you aren't very tall, i would think you are more likely to carry 'out'... maybe needing them sooner... but as the first ones usually take longer to 'show' i would think it is not unreasonable that you can make it to 15 weeks at least... try some tricks like not buttoning pants just zipping them and using a rubber band to loop the button together, wearing long shirts... Essentials will again depend on many things, primarily your job... do you require a professional wardrobe and will you be expected not to slack even in your 8-9th month?...
htownsoonergal Message #113 - 09/18/07 04:41 PM
Jess H-
I'm now 22 weeks along (I've gained 8 pounds so far) and just went this past weekend to pick up a few things. I bought maternity jeans for casual Fridays and the weekends and they are wonderful, well worth the money if you wear jeans often. I also picked up some larger bras and underwear. For work, I purchased the belly bands, which are great b/c you can leave your normal work pants unbuttoned and put the band over them and you have instant maternity pants without much cost. After work and on the weekends I live in yoga pants and those long breathable cotton tank tops.
The Reflector - WIR Message #114 - 09/18/07 04:51 PM
Jess H, it sounds like we're close to the same build. I'm 5 feet even and before I got pregnant with DD I weighed about 117. I wore the same size clothes until I was about 3 months and then started using the "cheats" oped was talking about - the rubber band around the button and button hole, long shirts coupled with stretchy camis over unbuttoned pants, stretchy skirts . . . my mom finally bought me some maternity pants and they felt soooooo good! I didn't really show until I was about 5 months and at 6 months some people still couldn't quite tell I was pregnant even though I certainly thought it was pretty darn obvious!
On the epidural front, make sure to call your insurance to make sure it's covered. It didn't happen to me but I heard stories about it not being covered under certain plans and then the new mom getting the bill from the hospital later. Other than that, I say go for it. My mom had 4 kids with no pain meds and I thought I could too. I've dealt with chronic and acute back pain so I figured that I used to working through pain. That was before I was in the hospital 2 hours after my water broke, had continual painful contractions with no breaks between and was only 2cm dilated! I was also throwing up and having trouble breathing. I asked for the epidural which I got about 1/2 hour later. It didn't hurt at all, maybe because I was otherwise in so much pain. After that I still felt the contractions but they didn't hurt. It was such a relief! The only possibly bad thing about the epidural is that it slowed my labor and 12 hours after my water broke they started me on pitocin. Altogether I was in labor for about 16 hours and pushed for 15 minutes. After the epidural I was able to relax, watch TV, doze a little bit . . . also I was completely surprised to have a very calm and peaceful birth experience. I think I imagined something out of a movie or TV show with lots of screaming.
This time I'm asking for an epidural as soon as they wheel me in the door! The only side effect I had was a mild headache for about a week and I'll take that over the pain I was having during labor any day! Still, what worked for me might not work for everyone. Everyone should consider all the options with their doctor.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:08:28 GMT -5
ylm23Message #115 - 09/18/07 05:00 PMjess H. - my height and build are almost exactly the same as yours. I am at 37w with my first pregnancy. I started wearing maternity clothing around the 17th week and was out of regular clothes entirely by 19 weeks. what to buy depends a lot on weather, working, etc. i am not working and in a hot weather place. my maternity wardrobe (and i wear EVERYTHING) is: 2 pr shorts, 2 pr capris, 2 pr yoga pants, 1 pr jeans that can cuff to capris, 1 pr black pants, 2 sundresses, 2 dressier dresses (i had semi formal events to attend. one of the dresses isn't actually maternity so i can wear it afterwards too, but is cut to accomodate a bump!) 4 tank tops, 3 casual but dressier tops, 3 solid tshirts, 3 dressy tops, 2 bathing suits (we have a pool and I have been in it every day the last 2-3 months). i also supplement with DH's boxers and old Tshirts. there is very little in terms of maternity petitie clothing and a lot of it is still too long, so you will have to get your pants hemmed. i was lucky to be pregnant in the summer so could stick with shorts and capris. boos_momMessage #116 - 10/02/07 07:40 AMHalloween - how much do you spend for costumes, candy to pass out, goodie bags for schoolmates? My mom bought a cheap small fairy wing, headband, wand and tutu set 2 years ago. We used the wings and wand last year as well. I think the set was $7 at a sundries store that sells stuff that they get from other stores/manufacturers for a discount. We don't pass out candy as we are usually going to someone else's home for TorT'in. For preschool, we're supposed to bring 10 items for the school parade (no costumes though), and I may or may not make goodie bags this year - usually a drink and a snack and a little toy, which might cost a $3 or more. The house we usually go to also has a bunch of children whose parents usually give us a goodie bag for our child. One goodie bag had a McD's $5 g.c. plus other snacks. It's kind of similar to the Easter goodie bag dilemma. I don't like buying junky toys and candy for kids, but I feel bad that we don't get the other children things when their parents buy stuff for our child. What do you folks do for Halloween and Easter, and how much do you spend on those filling the bags/baskets? rusty86Message #117 - 10/02/07 02:33 PMI wore my maternity clothes till they fell apart....didn't buy a whole lot. My first pregnancy I got through 4 months...but with some of my elastic work skirts paired with my husbands dress shirts and some scarves I got my another month without a whole lot of maternity wear for work. I was able to wear his shirts (he is a tall XL guy) and sweats and lounge pants at home for most of my pregnancy...he wasn't so thrilled with that but I was comfortable.. I found that as I got to months 8 and 9 that all the "pouch" pants were constricting an uncomfortable so for my second pregnancy I relied more on the maternity elastic banded skirts and pants. I did have to invest in shoes though....my feet "grew" one full size and to a wide size as well....after my pregnancy I had to donate all my shoes and buy new.... Jess HMessage #118 - 10/02/07 03:11 PMThanks for the maternity clothes info! I am just over 11 weeks now, and I already have a bump! I think it's because I don't usually carry any extra weight on my stomach area (just on my fat arms and thighs). At first I thought it was in my head, but I saw my mom this weekend and she noticed it too. My pants are getting a little tight, and I have found some of my work shirts aren't going to be able to be worn until after the baby is here. I am guessing I will have to get some new things (at least a couple pairs of pants) before we move in 4 weeks. I visited with a friend who is about my size this weekend, and she had a baby last spring. She gave me some info on what she really liked, and where she got cheap stuff. I just don't want to drop tons of money on things I will only wear for a few months! boos_momMessage #119 - 11/11/07 05:34 PMpssssstttt -- I just took the pregnancy test this morning and it was + !!!!! Hooray! (Plus, I never had a + stick test before, as first pregnancy was confirmed via the blood test, not the stick test. So that was really exciting!!!!) I've been off the b.c. for 10 months or so, so we are absolutely thrilled! Just had to celebrate here, as we probably won't start telling immediate family until I go to the OB (going to schedule it on Tuesday afternoon). This Friday, I had just set up the ING subaccount to start saving the 2nd childcare payment into our monthly budget (even though it hadn't been confirmed by a test), which would cover the unpaid portion of my maternity leave. Now, I need to call the HDCP that didn't have space for us the first time because I called "too late" for an infant slot. (The sitter we did use last time is no longer doing home care.) Will do this probably after we pass the 3 month mark. (I'm a little superstitious.) Can anyone recommend good children's stories to help prepare Boo about the impending little sibling? I'm sure there are lots out there, but wanted to get some opinions on what others have read and found very helpful. Thank you! p.s. I may disappear for a while as well, since my first pregnancy I got motion sick all the time through the 20th week, and particularly when I was on the computer! livingalmostlargeMessage #120 - 11/11/07 08:33 PMCongratulations Boosmom. Wow!
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:08:52 GMT -5
The Angry BurgherMessage #121 - 11/12/07 07:49 AMJust throwing in some thoughts from a proud first time Dad of a 7 week old baby! I'm 36, wife 40. We really "got serious" about having kids when she was 36 and ended up with fertility issues that came down to - at the time - injections at @ 10k a month, "guaranteed "to be pregnant by the 3rd month, 50% likely chance of multiples, no costs insurance covered - the idea of both wiping out all savings, going into debt and then having a good chance of multiple kids seemed like a poor choice and we declined going forward. Part of the wife's infertility dealt with issues that needed to be treated anyway, and suprise, 3 years later, I get a call in October, 2006 while out of town on biz., that all levels seem to now be in balance and the Dr. now thinks there will no problem conceiving. Having for the most part given up on the concept, I tell DH that's great. In January, I have my younger brother come out and do some remodeling on our house that turns out into a 10 week project (I figured 4 at the most), but new floors does seem to get my DH's romance up. In March she tells me she is expecting. I don't believe the home test. Then she says the Dr. office confirmed, I'm not really sold on their test. Then we have an ultrasound - that alien IS mine! Long story short, although the fall is busy, it so far has worked out fine, because the wife isn't working at a time when I get a bonus that more than covers her salary, she got a disability payment, and with DH at home more - she's spent less than half her normal monthly expenditures the past 2 months which has actually meant substantial savings since the newborn! boos_momMessage #122 - 11/18/07 07:39 AMOkay, this one falls under parenting, but it's mainly a VENT. DH told me that his niece asked her parent (DH's sibling) for an iPod video for Christmas. This kid just turned 6 years old a few months ago. And, the kicker is, they are going to get "just" the new video Nano for her. It costs $150! DH's sibling has the old iPod video, but apparently the niece wants her own. I couldn't believe it when he said they would get it for her, but told her that she's "only" getting one present then. I spend a max of $50 on my child's Christmas or birthday present, and that is a lot to me since she doesn't "need" anything! Anyway, DH's sibling and spouse are not exactly the models for financial responsibility, so I really don't understand why they are going to spend that kind of money that they ought to be saving for the next "oops" baby they're having. I know I was thrilled when I got a ~$30 walkman for Christmas, and I must've been 10 years old or so at the time (and didn't ask for it). Of course, do they even make walkmen any more? MittenKittenMessage #123 - 11/18/07 11:11 PMBoos_mom: Congrats!!!!!!!!! That is very exciting. Also Angry: Congrats on your new baby. I have heard giving a child a doll to explain kind of helps. My DS#1 was NOT fun when I had DS#2 and he was 3 at the time. boos_momMessage #124 - 11/21/07 06:10 PMmittenkitten - thanks, and thanks for the tip! I will definitely have to try that out. I figure I won't really start trying to prepare Boo til my tummy is a little larger. But, yes, that age is tough as is. Did anyone do that Chinese Pregnancy Calendar? Was it accurate for you? It was correct for my first one. I'm hoping it's correct for this one. MittenKittenMessage #125 - 11/30/07 06:55 PMbump mrslynchMessage #126 - 11/30/07 07:52 PMi used the chinese calendar. it was right for me, wrong for my sister. i have a question for all of those with children who walk--my daughter (almost 1) has just begun walking and i need to get her some shoes. i've heard good things about robeez, but i have no information about any other brands. any suggestions on stores, brands, etc?
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:09:06 GMT -5
SaraJoMessage #127 - 11/30/07 10:26 PMMom of a 3 1/2 yo dd and 7 mo ds here. *Here are some of our baby 'must-haves': changing table (changing on the floor hurt my back too much), bouncy seat, exersaucer, baby moniter (so dd and I can play outside while baby sleeps), and Pump in Style breastpump. All good, good stuff. The list of 'nice-to-haves' is longer and I'll post it if anyone is interested. *Maternity clothes I couldn't have done without (I work in a business casual office): 1 pr jeans that looked great one me, 1 pr okay jeans to knock around the house in, black courdory pants, brown dress pants, white button-down shirt, long cardigan-type sweater, long-sleeved knit shirts, one dressy dress to wear to a funeral. I wore dresses the first time I was pregnant, but not so much the second time--dealing with pantyhose bites the big one when you can't reach your feet. I didn't buy maternity underwear. Low-rise bikinis worked just fine. In the last couple months when I was absolutely huge (the kind of huge that makes people gasp when they look at pictures) I couldn't wear underwire bras. My belly pushed the underwires up and out of position. Sheesh. *Epidural vs. natural. I went natural the first time because we didn't get to the hospital in time to get the drugs. The second time I had the epidural, but absolutely hated it. I was in so much pain that they gave me a massive amount of the drugs and then I couldn't feel anything--not even the contractions. That meant that I couldn't push as effectively. Plus, I couldn't change positions without help. And the machines and anesthesiologist took up so much room that my DH couldn't be right up by my side. Plus, because of the huge dose they gave me, I still couldn't use my legs three hours later. Give me a quick, natural labor like I had the first time. Sara boos_momMessage #128 - 12/01/07 07:17 AMmrslynch - most baby boutiques sell robeez. there's also pedipeds, which seemed to be really comfortable and cushiony, perhaps a little more appropriate for once they've been walking for a bit. i suppose the special thing about the robeez type shoes is that the baby can still grip and feel the surface beneath the feet, so it helps with adjusting to walking over naturally uneven surfaces and allows baby to use the feet to grip the floor and push off with the feet. the thing about the baby boutique kinds of shoes is that they are pricier. robeez and pedipeds etc. usually cost $25 and up around here. sometimes you can find a sale for closer to $20, but that is not too frequent. we used the robeez with the first kid and probably will reuse the shoes for this next one, since they aren't really worn out yet. the epidural is a little tricky. first dosage administered was perfect, numbed the pain but i could still feel my body. then, because the anesthesiologist was going home for the day, i got a second dose which made me feel totally numb and unable to move anything. however, by the time i was ready to start pushing, the dosage had worn off enough so that i could feel the pressure of the contractions again and could push (still took 1.5 hours to get the kid out). and by the time i delivered, the last of the dosage had worn off so i could move again fully once i delivered. it might be advisable for sensitive folks to request a smaller dosage at first and then up it as necessary. i'm excited. we get to go to the 1st ultrasound on monday! it's truly amazing to see that little baby on the screen for the first time! for those who have had "morning" (hah, i wish) sickness, what "cures" have you found worked for you? i noticed the eating Pedialyte Popsicles and ginger chicken sometimes helps. i also had a Jamba Juice the other day, and the slushiness seemed to help. eating becomes such a chore when you're pregnant and not feeling well! MittenKittenMessage #129 - 12/03/07 04:51 AMFrom what they told me at the shoe store Robeez are not good once they are actually walking. Stride Rite shoes are great. They provide the support they need and will allow their feet to breathe. I have used them for both my kids first shoes. Although walking without any shoes is preferable as it helps the feet develop mrslynchMessage #130 - 12/03/07 01:13 PMthanks for the info about the shoes. we bought her a couple of different types, so we're figuring out what works best for her. we let her walk around in socks and barefoot at home, and we did at daycare, but now that she's almost out of the baby room, that doesn't exactly work anymore. i've heard mixed reviews about the robeez, so we got her a pair, but we're trying sneakers first. again, thanks for the input! dakota4600Message #131 - 12/03/07 02:16 PMJust have to share we go for our level 2 u/s today, so we will get to count fingers and toes and see our little one, maybe for the last time before it is born. Based on my test results I'm no longer high risk (Just an older egg ), so the level 2 is the last scheduled u/s that I will have. I'm not complaining, I have a friend who is at 21 weeks and has to go every 2 weeks to a high risk OB and has a u/s everytime believe me I don't want that, her stress level is through the roof. I don't know if you commonly have one in the 3 trimester or not. MittenKittenMessage #132 - 12/03/07 10:14 PMDakota: Congrats! Most only have one normal ultrasound. I know I only had 1 with each of my other boys. When I scheduled mine for a level 2 they told me they will be testing a new machine so it is going to be in 3D. Should be interesting since the others make them look like aliens LOL!
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:09:30 GMT -5
dakota4600Message #133 - 12/03/07 11:46 PMThe baby is healthy and it is a BOY! Yeah! We aren't telling any of our family or friends that we are having a boy. We are just saying that it is a healthy human baby. I'm so excited!!! DebtFreeBy40Message #134 - 12/04/07 04:33 PMboos_mom: i agree that an iPod of ANY kind is too much for a 6yr old. my sister asked the mother of her godchild what she wanted for xmas (she's 7) and the mother stated an iPod...I told my sister to let her parents do that b/c a 7yr old does not need an iPod unless it's made by leap frog or fisher price!!! congratulations to all the mommies(and daddies) to be and all the new mommies(and daddies)!!!!! Susan in TexasMessage #135 - 12/04/07 05:03 PMAmen to the iPod. I just got a 4GB Nano. My 5-year-old thinks it's beyond cool and asked for one for Christmas. I told him absolutely not, and moved the "nursery" CD player to his bedside table. There. Now he has a "music player," as he calls it. His dad dug him up a pair of old headphones to go with it. I also pointed out that mom and dad do not have a music player in their room, so he has something we don't. He's a little disappointed, but he knows that The Parents Have Spoken. As for the shoes, we were very happy with the knockoff soft shoes from Target, rather than the more expensive Pedipeds or Robeez. They're in little baskets at the end caps of the childrens' shoe aisles. They were soft leather with a rubber bottom that protected DD's feet but allowed her enough freedom of movement to find her own balance as she learned to walk. Congratulations to everyone! Sheila in CaliMessage #136 - 12/04/07 05:10 PMMy 2 cents on the Ipod debate for Kids - My 9 yr old ds has one (the shuffle). My DH and I both have one as well. Both of our hook in to our vehicles and play through the stereo system. I have a docking station in my office to listen to music during the day. We all three work out and like to listen to music while we do so (but not the same music). We went with the Ipod for him because we already owned a lot of the music he likes on I-tunes and it is much easier to update and reload the things when all the software is the same. If you have no other Ipods than you are right- generic is perfectly fine. But to mix a generic and an Ipod is kind of a headache if you have more than one MP3 player in the house. Susan in TexasMessage #137 - 12/04/07 07:06 PMSpending, I got a Walkman when I was nine and I think there is a difference between younger and older kids. I said no to the iPod because DS wanted what he saw other people doing, but didn't understand what it does, have a use for it or even like listening to music much. If he know what he wanted to use it for, that would be different. He is, for instance, getting an inexpensive digital camera because I'm tired of him filling my memory card with pictures of feet and doorknobs! Sheila in CaliMessage #138 - 12/04/07 07:32 PMSusan- makes sense with the Ipod I missed the part where you mentioned your DS was only 5. Sorry I read your post too quickly. My DH and I have had one since the 1st generation and we travel a lot so it is nice to have. DS is a huge fan of music (currently Irish Punk) and very particular. We try to get him in to some of our music and he isn't always a fan. I laughed at your digital camera story- we gave our DS an old inexpensive one we had for the same reason. Now he has his own file on the computer for his photos and manipulates them in the photoshop type program.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:09:44 GMT -5
SullyKittyMessage #139 - 12/05/07 08:46 PMDF and I are getting married this June and we are in the VERY beginning stages of talking about having children. My concern is that I am plus size woman. I know that there is a taboo about plus size pregnancies. I was just wondering if anyone out there has gone through a plus size pregnancy and if they have any wisdom to pass along. I eat healthy things, just too much of it. We are also starting to exercise so we can get healthier. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! reasonableopinionMessage #140 - 12/07/07 12:33 AMDear Boos Mom- Well I have been pregnant 11 times and have nine kids (2 in heaven from miscarriage) However when I was desperate to be pregnant here is what I did ( I also needed boys and the Doctor told me this..) Take Guifenisen (you know over the counter expectorant) for a month. Have a helping of your Hubby every day! for said month. I did this and had twin boys! The first boys I ever had after several girls! reasonableopinionMessage #141 - 12/07/07 12:55 AMHi ALL you Moms and Dads- Congratulations! Life will never be the same again! But you know that! About all this computer junk, Ipods and the like NO if you want intelligent children they need stimulation from natural things like hugs, nature walks, LOTS and LOTS of talking and observation "Look Johnny! What kind of a leaf do you think that is?", no smoke or drink, healthy food, touch, touch, touch. Hold them! Don't spoil them but let them know they are the apple of your eye and you want the best for them even if you have to sacrifice to be with them. Children are a life's vocation not a side bet or an afterthought. Remember they will too soon be adults and when they are teenagers they will tell you who you really are not who you think you are SO love them now and you won't have any trouble later. Tie those heart strings through shared experiences, DO LIFE WITH THEM. Enjoy being parents thoroughly and enjoy being married, let go of whatever you have to to build a happy, healthy, home and marriage for your children. A healthy functional family is worth more than the finest gold or fortune. There are lots of good resources out there and many churches host parenting and family life classes for free! Study it like your life depends on it. I mean this with all my heart, I have 9 kids from 3-23 yrs old. and a husband who adores me. I read up on being a mom like I'm earning a Phd. I wish you all the very, very best with your "treasures" from heaven. p.s. When my babies were screaming at 4 a.m. I used to comfort myself by saying to myself "Well at least their breathing that's a good thing!" LOL livingalmostlargeMessage #142 - 12/07/07 05:18 AMActually I have to respectfully disagree reasonableopinion. There is nothing wrong with ipods, computers, etc. DH and I came out fine, but what is important is time with your child, whatever it may be. Not vegging out in front of the TV, but if it's reading online, looking at things on the internet, listening to music together, learning a language from tape, reading, gardening, cooking, cleaning, etc. It's the time spent with the child. DH and I both had computers, video games, etc. We also travelled with our parents, we had opportunities to see different cultures, ways of living. It's okay to have electronics and toys. As long as you spend time with them. I recall playing for hours dolls with my mom. And DH had tons of fun with legos with his dad and train sets. We both also spent time on computers and video games with our parents. And listening to music. My mom and I till today watch movies at the theater. We bond over popcorn and soda. She was a single mom and trust me a buck for the two of us once a week was a lot. But I still remember seeing some movies at 5. By the way my mom drank and smoke during her pregnancy. I am a graduate student and had close to perfect SATs, skipped 2 grades and finished college at 20. The best thing was the time she spent with me. I even went to work with her nights, falling alseep in a hospital. Being an involved parent is what drives your children. Doing homework, talking, sharing time with them. My mom is not athletic, nor a great cook. And I have to say I have poor eating habits in some ways because of her (ie Soda drinking). However, she contributed endless amounts of time. So I guess it's not such a big deal about buying the ipod or other toys. If you want to make it a learning experience, say using saved allowances fine. Or use it to explain the value of expensive toys great. But just because you buy your child the toy doesn't make them spoiled. It's how it's used and applied. And the values you've already instilled in your child. mrslynchMessage #143 - 12/07/07 02:17 PMsullykitty--while it may be more difficult to conceive being plus size, no where is it written that you cannot have a baby if you're overweight. as long as you're healthy, the baby, and you, will be fine. depending on how overweight you are, you might be monitored a little more closely and you may have to follow a special diet. also, it is possible to lose weight while you're pregnant and as long as it isn't hurting the baby, that is OK, too. when i was pregnant, one of the nurses told me that they had a patient who lost 50 pounds while she was pregnant and the baby was fine. btw, my sister is extremely overweight and she's 8 months pregnant with a very healthy baby. reasonableopinion--i, too, have to respectfully disagree with many of your comments. i second jn527-1 and would like to add that as parents, it is our responsibility to expose our children to many different things, especially with a balance. there is nothing wrong with using the internet or toys as long as books or playing outdoors are given equal emphasis. i guess the bottom line, for me anyway, is that we will all do what we feel is best for our children and should not, and cannot, force others to adopt our philosophies. whether that's not exposing them to technology or forgetting that there's a world for them beyond a computer screen, it's our decisions as parents as to what our children should/shouldn't be exposed to, no one else's. rather than judging, we need to encourage and support other parents as we all know what a difficult job parenting is. i also would like to know--why did you need boys? i don't understand needing a particular sex. if a child is a gift from g-d, shouldn't he be the one to decide what sex it is? SullyKittyMessage #144 - 12/11/07 04:20 PMThanks for your comments MrsLynch. It gets discouraging whenever you talk about having kids and people look at you like you are crazy and say you have to lose lots of weight. Thanks again.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:10:08 GMT -5
Holly SmithMessage #145 - 12/11/07 04:34 PMIt gets discouraging whenever you talk about having kids and people look at you like you are crazy and say you have to lose lots of weight. Being overweight isn't a risk factor in and of itself, but a risk factor for other risk factors. IOW, it's indirect. I am overweight and almost 20 weeks pregnant now. My weight hasn't changed in several weeks, and I lost nine pounds before that. So I am currently nine pounds below where I was when I got pregnant. The trick is to eat as healthy as you can, and I would count calories. You'd be surprised how many calories some things have. I was calorie-counting for a few months before I got pregnant, so it was easy to switch over. I don't really eat more than I did before, but you can sure see the weight distribution changing on me. Since I'm not gaining weight, but my abdomen and chest are getting bigger, my arms, legs, and face are getting smaller. Be sure and get lots of exercise! My OB said I don't need to worry about gaining weight until 20 weeks. Even then, it's not a big issue unless the baby is showing smaller than normal. My target gain is 15 pounds, but that's 24 pounds from where I'm at now b/c I'm currently at a net loss. I'm hoping it will just be 15 pounds from this point instead, or less, as long as I get a healthy baby too. Sheila in CaliMessage #146 - 12/11/07 04:42 PMI would have to also respectfully disagree with reasonableopinion. It is all about balance. My DS has the tv on constantly in the background while he is drawing, building with his legos etc. He rarely actually focuses on it but mostly listens to it while he is playing. Some days it is on cartoons but more often than not it is on the history channel or something like that. There are times he will learn something on tv (like about the Titanic or something) and then goggle it to find out more. He is in the gifted class at school and they do a lot of on line research. He loves music and has an ipod. He also stages his own concerts and writes his own music. I resent the implication that my DS will not be intelligent because of an ipod or a computer game. He is classified as gifted yet has the tv, wii, xbox, hand held games etc. We let him choose. Given the choice on a long car ride he frequently reads rather than play a game. Because we don't force him he love to read. We do enjoy nature too. We go hiking several times a month (sometimes we listen to our ipods and enjoy the scenary). My dear brother tried to go the way of the my kids will never watch tv, never be spanked, never eat non-organic foods. As a result the kids are unable to amuse themselves because mommy and daddy were always in there face, when the tv is on they are in a trance and their favorite food is McDonalds (scream for it every time they pass a restaurant). BTW they are 7 and 8 years only - not toddlers. cran.vodkaMessage #147 - 12/11/07 05:05 PMHi Ladies! I just stumbled upon this thread and have skimmed the past 13 pages. Congratulations to everyone who is pregnant! We will be trying to conceive after we get married in the fall of 2008. Don’t know how that will play out since I am 39 and will have just turned 40 after we get married. I’m currently taking prenatal vitamins under the recommendation of my OB and she is suggesting trying sooner than later. Hmmm, not quite what I wanted to hear and I’m sure she’s probably right. I know there are more women having late pregnancies and I’m curious to know how many on this board are in their late 30’s to early 40’s who are trying. I’m trying to come to terms that I may never conceive even though we would love to have a child. livingalmostlargeMessage #148 - 12/11/07 07:03 PMI am also a tiny bit on the heavy side. I am going to try and get pregnant at the upper end of the healthy BMI. I think it's okay. Right now I'd love to try and lose weight however and get to a BMI of 21 or 22 and that way I'm in top shape when pregnant. But if I'm not well then it's also alright (so the ob/gyn told me). Being overweight is bad because it could be a symptom of PCOS. And this makes getting pregnant difficult. If you lose 10-20 lbs it could stimular hormone production and make it easier to conceive. And thus it is suggested if you are overweight to lose weight because then you can conceieve easier (if you have trouble). Also being overweight makes it more likely to have gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. So it's just lowering your risk. Plus I talked to a couple of doulas it's easier to have natural childbirth if you are in good shape. So it's better, but NOT necessary to lose weight. I just want to be in peak condition. I want to try a natural water birth. So I think if I work out more and start getting into yoga/pilates I'm more likely to acheive that. Plus I think my current weight gain does have something to do with PCOS so it will be easier to conceive if I lose a few lbs. mrslynchMessage #149 - 12/11/07 07:41 PMjn527--more power to you if you want to try a natural birth. just bear in mind that labor does not always go as planned and you may need a plan B. i hadn't planned on a c-section, but had to have one anyway. once my baby's heartrate started to drop whenever i had a contraction, it kind of became a no-brainer (and i couldn't finish passing her through the birth canal no matter how hard i tried. and i tried for 2 hours). i want to add that there's way too much focus on weight as it pertains to pregnancy. we, as women, are so obsessed with what we weigh before we get pregnant, how much we gain when we are, and we're made to feel guilty if we gain too much (or too little) or if we're too fat or too thin (which, btw, i am not) when we're trying to get pregnant, that we forget what's important. weight is not; bringing a happy, healthy baby into the world is. pregnancy is such a hard/exciting/fascinating time, and too much of that is thrown away because of an obsession with weight. ok, i'm stepping off my soapbox now. Amazon HunterMessage #150 - 12/11/07 07:49 PMmrslynch, I am not pregnant yet and while I agree with your comments about the over-emphasis on weight, I think it is still pretty important. You should not stress yourself overly much, but it can still affect the health of you or your child. I'm at a pretty comfortable weight for me, but I have problems with my joints that will be greatly affected by weight gain. My goal is to lose about 10 more pounds before we start trying because I REALLY want to be able to walk when all is said and done. IMHO, over-emphasis is just as bad as ignoring the issue altogether. Being overweight can help create many problems for the mother and child, so I think it is important to pay attention to. However, I agree that those who freak out over gaining an extra pound or two are probably going overboard. For me, extra weight on my frame after a pregnancy will make it difficult for me to get around and walk. Not to be a dissenter, just mentioning the weight issue from the perspective of someone who can see long-term effects of excessive weight gain. AH
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:10:22 GMT -5
mrslynchMessage #151 - 12/11/07 08:26 PMto clarify, there's a difference between obsessing over weight for vanity and obsessing over weight for legitimate health concerns (being able to walk, for example). if there's a reason to pay very close attention to your weight during pregnancy, then that's what you have to do. if you're doing it because you're afraid to gain more than 5 pounds while pregnant, then, imho, your priorities are a bit off. sometimes women gain a tremendous amount of weight during pregnancy even though they're eating healthy, exercising, etc (this happened to me) and other women gain almost no weight even though all they eat are milkshakes and fries (this happened to a friend of mine); a lot of it has to do with how your body responds to the pregnancy, how much water you're retaining...a variety of reasons. and i think it's absurd to obsess over weight when you're putting your body through the stress of just being pregnant; i think it's even more absurd when women are made to feel guilty because of a large weight gain or made to feel guilty or that they shouldn't even try to have kids until they lose weight. i also want to clarify that my opinions on weight pretty much pertain to pregnancy only. weight, when ttc or pregnancy is not involved, is an entirely different discussion. in that respect, i am just as guilty as anyone as being obsessed. livingalmostlargeMessage #152 - 12/11/07 08:35 PMYep, I don't think you should obsess. I think however, that PCOS is becoming very common and its usually linked to being overweight. On the baby center board, multiple women suggest loosing some weight to help conception. I am hopeful of a natural birth, but it's okay if it doesn't happen. I'd just like to increase the odds. 3s Enough For MeMessage #153 - 12/11/07 08:48 PMI am hopeful of a natural birth, but it's okay if it doesn't happen. I'd just like to increase the odds. I also wanted a natural birth but DS #1 was breech and I ended up having a c-section. I chose not to do the inversion since he was full breech(head under my ribs) and because it's done in the operating room in case there is a problem and they needed to do an emergency c-section. I figured a controlled surgery would be safer and didn't want to put the baby into any unneccesary stress. With DS #2 I was planning on a VBAC but during early labor the baby's heart rate kept dropping really low even with minor contractions so off to the operating room I went again. It turns out he had a true knot in his cord and most likely would have died if I didn't do the c-section. Of course with baby #3 I had no choice and her birth was scheduled. I also got my tubes died after her delivery. So I ended up with 3 c-sections! Not how I originally "planned" my deliveries but I'm ok with it. It's great you are planning for a natural birth but that you are also open to whatever happens when the time comes. You can make all the plans in the world but in the end you never really now what will happen until you are giving birth. Holly SmithMessage #154 - 12/11/07 09:19 PMI think that overall health has a lot more to do with fertility and healthy pregnancy than weight necessarily does. Sure, I was quite overweight when I got pregnant, but I was also exercising at least an hour every day and eating a very healthy diet. Some people ask me if my cycles were irregular because I was overweight and I just looked at them funny. People also tell me a lot of **** about how I might gain too much weight (I've lost nine pounds so far) and how I've got to remember to eat vegetables and fruits as well as junk food. I would take this from my doctor (who knows me well enough to know that these are non-issues) but most people who say stuff like this to me don't necessarily exercise or eat healthy-- who are they to lecture me? Amazon HunterMessage #155 - 12/11/07 09:31 PMMrslynch, I completely agree with what you are saying. I'm sorry if it seemed like I was challenging you. That wasn't my intention. I completely agree with not obsessing for vanity sake. I think this original line of conversation came up because a nice lady was inquiring about getting pregnant while overweight. I was commenting from the standpoint that "they" (the ubiquitous they) say that it is more difficult to get pregnant when overweight and it can help some other problems along. While this isn't necessarily the case with everyone, I think of weight loss or gain as an important health issue for me, not for everyone else. Sorry for the confusion. AH Amazon HunterMessage #156 - 12/11/07 09:39 PMHolly Smith, I love it when people who don't know you feel free to comment about your life choices. That's a riot. In a similar situation, when I got my disability rating from the VA, I told some of my co-workers. I was pretty excited about it. One of my co-workers said, "Well, it's better to be healthy." I think I almost punched him. Of course I know it's better to be healthy. I would trade my check in a minute to never have to deal with these problems. Hmmm... what do I choose? Extra money or being able to run and play with my kids??? Difficult question. I think I'll take the money. It's worth the pain.... Yeah right. I remember on one of these boards when a woman said something jokingly about being pregnant and stressed out because her family was driving her crazy. Someone else responded to the effect of "Please don't drink to ease your stress. It will hurt the baby...." and preceeded to lecture about the dangers of drinking. The OP was like "I don't even drink, but thanks for suggesting that I'll become an alcoholic now that I'm pregnant." Funny. BTW, congrats on being healthy (even if you aren't the so-called "perfect" weight)! Eating healthy and exercising is hard to do. Keep up the good work. AH
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:13:19 GMT -5
sjk279Message #169 - 01/04/08 03:51 PMboos_mom, I think you're perfectly normal! My friend went in for her first fetal heartbeat test, the tech couldn't find the heartbeat no matter what, my friend was on the point of tears when the doctor came in and whisked her to the ultrasound room. Guess the baby was in a very odd position but the ultrasound showed a growing baby. Also, how did any of you cope with wanting a baby so bad, but not being able to try for a variety of reasons? (health, financial, etc) I know that my "go for it" date is early summer due to health reasons, but having a baby is all that I can think about. Anyone have any coping tips for me? Congrats to all of the mommies and mommies-to-be out there. I'm storing all of the info that I've seen on here for future use. SullyKittyMessage #170 - 01/04/08 05:36 PMMy baby clock is ticking, sjk! It's all I think about most of the time. DF and I will be married in June and we are hoping to start trying a year from now. We have a lot health and financial issues that need to be resolved. I really have the baby fever. I have been reading a lot of material on getting pregnant and being healthy before you get pregnant. At least it feels like I'm doing something for the baby cause. Hope this helps a little! Talk2Me2Message #171 - 01/04/08 06:30 PMHi everyone~ Congrats to our new and upcoming Mamas!! My own are 4 and 8, but I also have run a preschool/childcare for 8+ years. I have a couple of tips that I've learned that might help some of you: When you purchase a stroller, you may really want to consider the ones with the largest wheels. I have Graco strollers, a one seater with a car seat and a two seater. The larger wheels are WAY easier to maneuver if you are walking around the neighborhood sidewalks. The smaller wheels are more suited for walking around malls or other even surfaces. Also, try to walk behind a stroller and think about how much you have to bend to push it. A friend with a large umbrella stroller said her back would ache pushing the stroller for too long. As for saving money while not working: invest in a small binder notebook that fits into your purse. Make a price book to track store prices and sales. In the time that I was home after our first came along, I had way more time than money and it is more of an advantage than often realized. You have time to track sales, cook from scratch and learn all sorts of ways to save money. I learned to cook, can, sew and craft along with reading every book I could on saving money from the library. I slept when my little one did and when she was up, I sat her on the counter in her baby carrier and chatted away to her while I made food from scratch. It seemed to keep us both entertained! For pre-pregnant mamas, I would highly recommend doing some cooking for your freezer! Package up as much variety as you can in small portions so that hubby and the kids can eat when you don't feel up to it. Holly SmithMessage #172 - 01/04/08 06:36 PMFor pre-pregnant mamas, I would highly recommend doing some cooking for your freezer! Package up as much variety as you can in small portions so that hubby and the kids can eat when you don't feel up to it. I've got an easier solution-- ask hubby to cook for once. He's got two hands. My DH actually does the majority of the cooking in our house. He likes it. Holly SmithMessage #173 - 01/04/08 06:38 PMAlso, how did any of you cope with wanting a baby so bad, but not being able to try for a variety of reasons? I had a list of things I had to get done before I could try for children. For about three years, I was wanting to have a child but my list was not completed. I spent a lot of time with my nieces and nephews, as well as my volunteer work with Girl Scouts. It's given me a lot of practical child-care experiences as well. sjk279Message #174 - 01/04/08 10:27 PMThanks to all of you ladies for your words of encouragement! I had a bad week after a friend was griping about how she got pregnant "too soon" and will miss a lot of overtime since she will be on maternity leave during tax season. (uh, duh, as soon as you're off bc you're fertile!) You are all right, I can focus on me, making sure I keep exercising and eating right, and getting some parenting experience with my nieces and nephews.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:13:33 GMT -5
dakota4600Message #175 - 01/04/08 10:39 PMSjk - I had baby fever bad too. I focused on getting my weight down and eating better pre-pregnancy so that the baby had a healthy home to move into when it was time. We got our nursery outfitted mostly over Christmas. My SIL bought our crib (over my strong objections, she really couldn't afford it, but we could. When DH tried to explain to her why we didn't want her to she started crying and he caved.), my parents got us a high chair and his parents got us the crib bedding we wanted. We bought the recliner for the room. I figure we will get his sister really nice presents for the next couple years and invite her over for dinner a lot to even things up. Yes I have a problem accepting expensive gifts from someone who I don't think can afford them. The stuff from our parents I have no problem with and if one of them had offered to buy the crib I would have happily accepted. Holly - DH is not a cook, but we are working on several simple dishes that he can throw together when I'm not up for cooking. Plus my girlfriends and I are going to to to Social SUppers in April and stock our freezer for the first couple weeks, when neither of us can see straight from lack of sleep. btvsrcksMessage #176 - 01/04/08 10:58 PMI'd like to make a few comments on PCOS here since I have had it for a long while (had my first cyst burst at 13 years old) You do not have to be fat to have PCOS. PCOS makes it difficult to lose weight for some, it is true. But for some the exact opposite can happen. You can look like a boy (thin, no curves at all). If you have PCOS, losing weight may be the answer, but more importantly you should see an endocrinologist right away because the real problem is testosterone, an over abundance of it. The other symptoms are also very unpleasant, with facial hair and baldness occuring in many cases. Not to mention the effect of testosterone on the baby (no hard data on this yet.) Losing weight doesn't mean you miraculously stop having PCOS. It relieves symtoms, and CAN help with ttc. But it isn't a guarantee. It isn't even a 'most' situation. When I was 13 I wasn't fat in any way. I had barely had a period. All of a sudden I had horrific abdominal pain and was taken to the ER. They didn't know what PCOS really was at the time, so they didn't do a single hormone test. I wasn't fat and had zero symptoms at that time. But I was informed that a cyst on my ovary had burst, and that I should be fine, it is a 'random occurence' (no joke). I didn't get diagnosed until I was 22 and had a huge weight gain, from 150 (normal for my height) to 180 in 3 months with no change in eating habits. I also had irregular periods and I found this article on irregular periods in a magazine and thought I might have hypothyroidism (I do by the way)... Anyway, the doctor I saw said 'umm.. you may have something else' and went back to my old charts. Apparently I had a high testosterone level from the time I was 13. It was right there in my chart, highlighted in red but no doctor ever mentioned it to my mother or myself. If you suspect you have PCOS get to an endocrinologist right away. Do not wait. You do not have to live with the symptoms, and you can increase your pregnancy odds greatly. Even without losing weight. I just wanted to correct those that say if you lose weight you get rid of your PCOS. You definitely don't, and PCOS isn't only about weight gain. boos_momMessage #177 - 01/04/08 11:13 PMsjk - Although I didn't really have major baby fever in the beginning, it did take about a year to actually conceive the first time, and 10 months this time, so I was getting anxious by the time we found out we were pregnant. What I would tell myself is that things will fall into place at the "right" time and if it doesn't happen right now, then it may be a little later. (This is hard for a "planner", like myself, to endure, because I am so used to being able to direct my actions.) So, this time around, perhaps I did speed up the process by a few months by using those ovulation sticks because the next month after I first used it, we got pregnant. Of course, if we weren't preggers after a year of trying, we would have asked to see a fertility specialist to see if there were issues with either of us. So, in the meantime, to help alleviate your baby fever, you could start tracking your periods and maybe go off of BC by March (but still use other forms of contraception) so that by the time you're "ready to go", you could get pregnant right away. Plus, also try spending some special, quality time with your SO in the meantime, do things that you will not be able to do when a little comes along. Take overnight trips, sleep in late, have lazy days together -- anything that you think will not be very feasible once you have a child. And definitely, offer your childcaring services to mothers of young ones. They will love you and hopefully return the favor when it's your turn! Good luck! MittenKittenMessage #178 - 01/10/08 08:54 PMJust a caution on the going off BC plan if you are on the pill. Some people (like myself) are EXTREMELY fertile. So if you do go off the pill just make sure you are ready for any surprises. DS#1 was conceived the month we went off the pill while using condoms. DS#2 was concieved the month we decided to start "trying" and DD expected this April is a surprise and a condom baby. (I couldn't use the pill as I was still nursing and DF hadn't had his surgery yet.) Any one here had to deal with your child being bullied at school? My 4 year old is having a problem at preschool. Things seem to be okay right now but I am worried and have enrolled him in karate. My guy is on the young side in addition to being small of course the bully turned 5 right after preschool started AND is a foot taller and two to three times my guys weight. ARG! MittenKittenMessage #179 - 01/10/08 09:02 PMBoos_mom: Are you high risk? I know a lot of people, myself included only get the one ultrasound at around 20 weeks. Ours was more intensive since I just hit the age of 35. Measured lots of her bones, checked in detail how her heart was beating, measured her spine, nose, counted toes and fingers. Checked my placenta and a lot of her organs. The other two kids ultrasounds were nothing like this one was. They checked the spine, looked at a few other things, made sure all looked okay and off you went. boos_momMessage #180 - 01/10/08 10:26 PMAre you high risk? I know a lot of people, myself included only get the one ultrasound at around 20 weeks. It may be that the medical community here is a little different than yours or our medical insurance covers more. First child, I had 2 ultrasounds, one around 8 weeks, and the second around 18ish weeks, both conducted by technicians at a radiology unit. Was not even 30 years old at that time. This time, I'm early 30s, and got 1 ultrasound at the OB's office at about 8 weeks, this 2nd one at about 12 weeks was at a specialist, and will do the 3rd follow-up ultrasound at about 17 weeeks at the specialist's. OB did not say I am high risk, but maybe she refers all patients over 30. I'll ask her at the next visit. My impression from when she first talked about the integrated screening was that it's basically now a standard procedure that expectant moms go through to help with assessing risks and possible issues in the pregnancy. The 2nd ultrasound definitely did measure all those things you had and the space/fluid between the skin and ?spine? as they said it can help predict whether baby will have Down's, as well as doing the maternal blood serum tests to help measure something to help predict possible spinal deformities and maybe a couple more disabilities/diseases (forgive me, my brain is so not working today). We have excellent medical insurance, so I'll have to see what if any the cost will be for the integrated screening u/s and blood tests. Last time, the 8 week ultrasound was done at the hospital radiology unit and the bill would've been $1000+, but we didn't have to pay anything at all. Yes, if you're going off of the pill earlier than wanting to get pregnant, then one does need to be careful in choosing alternative methods. Mitten, maybe you guys need stronger condoms! Or maybe he's Superman with strong little guys!
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:13:58 GMT -5
Sheila in CaliMessage #181 - 01/10/08 10:37 PMMittenkitten: You reminded me of my older brother. He and his wife used condoms as birth control, stopped and got pregnant with #1 very quickly -like within two weeks or so. So after #1 is born and SIL and bro resume normal activities she is very soon pregnant with #2. Apparently my cheap brother didn't realize that even condoms have expiration dates and failed to replace the box from pre- #1. He is a biology professor at a major university and spends a portion of the first class every semester telling the students about condoms and their expiration dates. He considers it his own private Public Service Announcement. MittenKittenMessage #182 - 01/11/08 12:15 AMThe box was new with DS#1 and not expired for DD. Just WAY too fertile LOL. I figure this one was just meant to be and DS#1 was meant to be 9 months early. Makes you realize you aren't always in control of your life. Of course with 2 plus a stepson I already had that one figured out. DeetwoMessage #183 - 01/11/08 12:46 AMsjk I sympathize. I think my bio clock is starting to kick into overdrive, plus everyone i know is popping out kids it seems! I'm 28 so i guess i'm at that age. I'm also trying to prioritize and figure out timing, financing, etc. I don't think i am ready to be a mom, but who is, right? And I want to travel, but that doesn't mix well with either babies or pregnancy, and is expensive! I'm trying to sqeeze one last big trip (Greece!!) in before I cave to the pressure from DH, bets from friends (apparently the latest bet on who's preggo next has me winning) etc, and I've only been married 10 months! For me there is a lot of anxiety around the decision, worries over age, number of children, expenses, declining fertility, career success (I did not go to school for 8 years to loose out cause i get preggo too early on in the career before I'm established), travel limitations (I find having a dog socially restrictive, what about a kid?!?!) And yet, I love kids, I want 3 or 4 (I think?), but growing up in a daycare, i have a unique understanding of how much work and life changes they really entail. livingalmostlargeMessage #184 - 01/11/08 03:21 AMDepends on your reasons. Everytime I look at a super cute baby and my hormones go into overdrive, I remember that I have to cook, clean, grocery shop alone. DH works and goes to night school. Um, then I think I'm beat from my work full time so how will I manage a kid? Then I hand the kid back and say, just 1 more year. Lakshmi_ffMessage #185 - 01/11/08 11:53 PMFor those of you who planned your pregnancy, how did you know that you and your DH were ready to be parents? MittenKittenMessage #186 - 01/12/08 01:03 AMSince DS#1 was only early, we went off the pill so we could start trying about the time we had him LOL. I wanted to start when I was around 30, had a house, had some savings and had done some traveling. We went on our dream trip in 2002 to Australia so the time just seemed right. I wanted to have my kids between 30 and be done by 35 (I will still accomplish this). My goal is that the youngest should be close to being out of the house when we turned 55 and should definately be out by the time we turn 60. Else they will be paying rent .
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