Taxman10
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Post by Taxman10 on Jun 24, 2011 9:04:04 GMT -5
He has done an overnight at this friend's before, and has done a few night with gramma. He has absolutely no separation anxiety. Zib, she's a single mom, so she's the only parent. DH has no logical reason to oppose it, and has admitted it. He just says he's not comfortable with DS going that far away for that long. DH is admittedly a homebody. DS doesn't know about it, but knowing the friend, he will soon. The friend comes up with lots of "plans" and then informs DS, and then his mother, and then me. The friend and DS are so excited about whatever plan they have, it's hard to tell them no. I'll work on DH. perhaps some type of "job" for DH would help convince him.... back on topic, I'd be a little apprehensive of a 5 y/o going away too; but no I don't have a logical reason....good luck!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2011 9:08:37 GMT -5
I'd let him go, especially since you know and trust the people he's traveling with and your DS has a track record of overnights away with no problems. I assume your friend has a cell phone and maybe you could agree to have DS call a few times during the trip, so DH could see how he's doing.
Cutting your kids loose from the nest is a slow process and the clues should come from them. You don't want DH to be one of those parents who insists on being patched in via cell phone when DS is up at college talking with his advisor about next semester's classes. I personally think that if the child is up for it, sleeping away from home, seeing new places and learning to trust people outside of the immediate family are all very good things.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 24, 2011 9:15:58 GMT -5
Why doesn't he go? Your son and DH could stay in one room, his friend and mom in another. That would be the best of both worlds. Or your DH and son meet them at the park/beach for the day and then leave, no staying the night? LOL. We actually are going to vacation in a different spot with this family on a different date.
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crockpottin
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Post by crockpottin on Jun 24, 2011 9:23:29 GMT -5
If you can convince DH to let DS go, I'd do it. At the boarding school I teach at, we have one or two kids (high schoolers) freak out every September because it's the first time they've been away from their parents, ever. It would have been better for those kids if their parents had let them do some sleepovers and that kind of thing. It's a good life skill to learn.
As a side note, my freaked out students do eventually calm down, so I'm sure your DS won't be scarred for life if he didn't do this trip-I just think it's probably easier to learn to do this when you're younger vs. when you're 14 & your mind is already whacked out due to teen hormones.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2011 9:29:50 GMT -5
My brother and sister are 9 and 8 and my parents do it for them all the time. they each get to bring a friend when they go out, on vacation, etc.
it always make the trip more fun for the both of them. my brother and sister while they are close tend to drive each other crazy, so with each of them having a friend there it keep the fights to a minimum and make the trip more relaxing for my parents (not having to be braking up fights/arguments all day long)
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 24, 2011 9:33:26 GMT -5
My brother and sister are 9 and 8 and my parents do it for them all the time. they each get to bring a friend when they go out, on vacation, etc. it always make the trip more fun for the both of them. my brother and sister while they are close tend to drive each other crazy, so with each of them having a friend there it keep the fights to a minimum and make the trip more relaxing for my parents (not having to be braking up fights/arguments all day long) I used to go on vacation with my bff every summer...but I didn't start until 14....but we did have a blast!
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jun 24, 2011 9:35:40 GMT -5
I'd tend to think that 5yo is a little young, but that does depend on the kid. You've had good experiences with the other family as well as overnight experiences, so your son can probably handle it.
So I suppose the question really becomes: what do you have to do to convince DH. Do you have to buy his vote through a favor? Do you have to out-argue him through logic? Or is this going to be one of those "hill to die on" type fights where you just have to win through force or attrition?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 24, 2011 9:42:32 GMT -5
I'd tend to think that 5yo is a little young, but that does depend on the kid. You've had good experiences with the other family as well as overnight experiences, so your son can probably handle it. So I suppose the question really becomes: what do you have to do to convince DH. Do you have to buy his vote through a favor? Do you have to out-argue him through logic? Or is this going to be one of those "hill to die on" type fights where you just have to win through force or attrition? I tried logic last night. Epic Fail. Favors won't work in this situation. I'll try logic again. It won't be a hill to die on, so to speak. DS will have other opportunities.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Jun 24, 2011 9:45:50 GMT -5
Swamp I'd take a pass on this one. Two nights away is more than I'd feel comfortable with. Especially because they'll be in an unfamiliar place to sleep(as opposed to his friend's home). Taking what are probably two active boys to a large amusement park in summer(school's out, lots of teenagers and other unsupervised kids) isn't what I'd call an inspired decision. I'd probably be ok with a day trip but two nights, 3 hours away....nah, not the best idea. JMHO.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Jun 24, 2011 9:49:51 GMT -5
Cutting your kids loose from the nest is a slow process and the clues should come from them. You don't want DH to be one of those parents who insists on being patched in via cell phone when DS is up at college talking with his adviser about next semester's classes. Oh for the love of God! Making a decision to keep a 5 yo home from an overnight trip to interfering in an 18 yo's college experience? Gimme a break. I don't think that Swamp's DS is at some increased risk of neurosis if he is kept home from two days at Six Flag over whatever...
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 24, 2011 9:57:53 GMT -5
God, Swamp, this week I just rejected sending both of my toddlers to my sister's house for tonight and Sat. night. Granted, her DD2 has lice, they've gutted their kitchen and my DD doesn't know her super well and I figured if we did send them, she'd be coping with a hysterical 3 year old at some point during the night...
I don't know that I'd be comfortable with 2 nights away. Can you guys compromise and go pick up DS after 1 night?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 24, 2011 10:01:27 GMT -5
::Can you guys compromise and go pick up DS after 1 night?::
DS would have a meltdown if I dragged him away from the fun and his friend is staying, lol!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 24, 2011 10:02:54 GMT -5
::Can you guys compromise and go pick up DS after 1 night?:: DS would have a meltdown if I dragged him away from the fun and his friend is staying, lol! then can you take him up for night 2?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 24, 2011 10:03:34 GMT -5
::Can you guys compromise and go pick up DS after 1 night?:: DS would have a meltdown if I dragged him away from the fun and his friend is staying, lol! then can you take him up for night 2? I dunno, depends on the work schedules.............
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Jun 24, 2011 10:04:20 GMT -5
we gave notarized medical authorizations to broth grandparents in the off chance something should happen to DS when we were not there to authorize care.
This is always a good idea. I carry authorizations for my g'kids and have had to use it once. It really smoothed out matters in the ER.
Swamp, I'd urge your DH to reconsider. 1) Three days isn't that long for a 6 yr/old 2) Going away from home for a few days can build independence. 3) It sounds like your DH (unintentionally) tends to smother the kid....
(When I was 5, I spent the summer with relatives while my mother stayed with a seriously ill sister - I had a GREAT time. They spoiled me rotten)
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 24, 2011 10:05:06 GMT -5
then can you take him up for night 2? I dunno, depends on the work schedules............. MIght be worth juggling them if it lets this work out.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2011 10:06:00 GMT -5
Swamp I'd take a pass on this one. Two nights away is more than I'd feel comfortable with. Especially because they'll be in an unfamiliar place to sleep(as opposed to his friend's home). Taking what are probably two active boys to a large amusement park in summer(school's out, lots of teenagers and other unsupervised kids) isn't what I'd call an inspired decision. I'd probably be ok with a day trip but two nights, 3 hours away....nah, not the best idea. JMHO. so I guess people with twins don't take their kids anywhere until they're at some magical age? I don't know about you, but my kids always behave better for other people than they do for me.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 24, 2011 10:07:56 GMT -5
Swamp, I'd urge your DH to reconsider. 1) Three days isn't that long for a 6 yr/old 2) Going away from home for a few days can build independence. 3) It sounds like your DH (unintentionally) tends to smother the kid.... I'm telling DH Gramma said it was OK.
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Post by pig on Jun 24, 2011 10:11:13 GMT -5
Interesting read.
Why do you put that under my text? I have no doubt I'm a better parent than you.
Swamp the person who said if your DH doesn't want him to go then you shouldn't let him go isn't implying that his opinion is more important than yours. If you're married you need to respect how your partner feels it's called compromise.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Jun 24, 2011 10:11:29 GMT -5
Swamp, I'd urge your DH to reconsider. 1) Three days isn't that long for a 6 yr/old 2) Going away from home for a few days can build independence. 3) It sounds like your DH (unintentionally) tends to smother the kid.... I'm telling DH Gramma said it was OK. LOL... My experience at 5. I had lived in Texas. My aunt was seriously ill, so my mother sent me to stay with relatives (that I did not know) in Ohio. She sent my sister somewhere else. My relatives loved my southern accent, but the neighborhood kids teased me about it. The relatives were older and just treated me like royalty. All I remember is what a great time I had. I DO think this is an opportunity for your son to have a taste of an adventure away from Mom and Dad. Most likely he'll be having such a good time that he will be on his best behavior. Honestly, I think that folks that feel that two nights away from home is too much for a 6 y/o are being overly protective. No wonder some kids grow up afraid to try new experiences. They've never been given the opportunity.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 24, 2011 10:15:57 GMT -5
Interesting read. Why do you put that under my text? I have no doubt I'm a better parent than you. Swamp the person who said if your DH doesn't want him to go then you shouldn't let him go isn't implying that his opinion is more important than yours. If you're married you need to respect how your partner feels it's called compromise. I'm all for compromise, but the statement was DH doesn't want it to happen so it shouldn't. Why is compromise in this situation giving in to my husband? I probably will give on this because it really isn't that big of a deal. It's not compromise, though.
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Post by pig on Jun 24, 2011 10:18:15 GMT -5
Why is compromise in this situation giving in to my husband? I probably will give on this because it really isn't that big of a deal.
You just answered your own question. It's not a big deal so let it go. And it most certainly is a compromise because the next time something comes up that you want but he doesn't you say I gave into you on not letting him go so now you're going to let me do this.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 24, 2011 10:22:12 GMT -5
The kid knows this kid and they are friends. You know his mom and she's a NURSE, for pete's sake. I sent DD to Indiana and she really only knew her Grandmother but still went over to various other relatives to spend the night or nights and to get to know her cousins better. There's still another child left at home, right? Not that I'm saying the heir and the spare but it isn't like you get a break from child rearing. LET THE KID GO and tell DH to grow up himself. Good grief. Usually it's the moms who can't cut the apron strings.
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Post by pig on Jun 24, 2011 10:23:20 GMT -5
You know his mom and she's a NURSE Yes because we know all nurses are good people like the "angel of death" And they should call you rightsideof30 I like the way you think ma'am.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 24, 2011 10:24:20 GMT -5
It isn't a hill to die on but shame on your DH for not letting his own child experience some fun because HE has issues.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Jun 24, 2011 10:26:47 GMT -5
Swamp I'd take a pass on this one. Two nights away is more than I'd feel comfortable with. Especially because they'll be in an unfamiliar place to sleep(as opposed to his friend's home). Taking what are probably two active boys to a large amusement park in summer(school's out, lots of teenagers and other unsupervised kids) isn't what I'd call an inspired decision. I'd probably be ok with a day trip but two nights, 3 hours away....nah, not the best idea. JMHO. so I guess people with twins don't take their kids anywhere until they're at some magical age? I don't know about you, but my kids always behave better for other people than they do for me. I really don't GARA what parents with twins do. You want to get into a pissing contest....knock yourself out. I was referring to someone, besides a parent/grandparent/family member/guardian.....(have I covered enough to satisfy the PC police?) taking a young child out of town, for two nights, to a large and busy venue. I also, if you read carefully I included the acronym JMHO. The real issue is the individual judgment and comfort level of the parents...Swamp and her husband feel differently. She was seeking support for her position here but in the end has to come to a decision with her husband. Of course my kids act better for other people, especially their clients and business partners....
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Post by pig on Jun 24, 2011 10:27:49 GMT -5
because HE has issues. There are people here who wouldn't let the child go so do we all have issues? Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean they have "issues". Do you argue a lot with your husband?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 24, 2011 10:28:42 GMT -5
"Honestly, I think that folks that feel that two nights away from home is too much for a 6 y/o are being overly protective. No wonder some kids grow up afraid to try new experiences. They've never been given the opportunity. "
GG, it really depends on your kid. Some kids adapt much more easily than others to new places/new faces. My DD doesn't. Heck, she freaks out when all the family is over. She knows all of them on varying levels but having 30 people at the house causes her to get clingy and scared.
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Mrs. Dinero
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Post by Mrs. Dinero on Jun 24, 2011 10:31:14 GMT -5
I've struggled with this before and decided not to let them go. If something happened, I would never forgive myself for talking my husband into it. (It was my parents taking them to sisters 3 hours away. Dad is 70 and his driving is not what it was). Hopefully, your hubby will let him go somewhere soon. Why not go with them? Sounds fun!
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Jun 24, 2011 10:31:31 GMT -5
It isn't a hill to die on but shame on your DH for not letting his own child experience some fun because HE has issues. I am astounded at the level of fear of some of these posts. When do you stop holding your child's hand?
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