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Post by pig on Jun 23, 2011 12:17:08 GMT -5
I would like to elicit thoughts on an issue from you moms out there.
My wife told me this morning that our son, who is 8 years old, feels that the daycare he's going to is not a good fit for him.
The day care he currently goes to is mostly little kids 5 and under so there really isn't anyone his age for him to play with. Now, during the school year it's not really an issue as he's only at day care for about 10 minutes before I can get him. However, during the summer he's there all day.
Now my wife wants to put him into a different daycare with kids more his age. My issue is that the day care he is in now is run by friends of ours and they are good and also cheap.
He's obviously too young to stay home alone. However, he's only going to be in day care for what?.....3 more years? I don't think it's worth the extra money it's going to cost us to move him. But, if he's the one that brought it up it is clearly an issue in his little mind.
What are your thoughts? Thanks.
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Post by pig on Jun 23, 2011 12:23:31 GMT -5
Yes, moving him for only part of the year wouldn't be an option as they have a pretty long waiting list. But, you think it is worth it, thanks for the input.
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Post by pig on Jun 23, 2011 12:47:39 GMT -5
If you can't move him for the summers, could you throw a couple of weeks of some type of summer camp in there. That may be enough to get him through.
I'm glad you brought this up. My wife actually suggested that we send him to his grandmothers for a couple of weeks during the summer as he has cousins there around his age. Do you think that would be enough?
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 23, 2011 12:53:25 GMT -5
I only have a 1 year old, so you can ignore me if you want but I think if your son brought it up, you definitely should do something about it.
Would it be possible to do both the grandparents house for a couple weeks (presumably free) and then another camp for another couple weeks, maybe staggered? I know our town has some day camp type stuff that parks and rec dept does. It isn't all summer, maybe 6 weeks, but you sign up for 1 week at a time. So maybe you could do one week in July, one week in August, plus two weeks with g-parents, or something like that? See how it goes. If he still complains then maybe next summer consider an all new daycare for the remaining two years
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Post by pig on Jun 23, 2011 13:03:14 GMT -5
so you can ignore me if you want
Never. All advice and input is appreciated.
"Would it be possible to do both the grandparents house for a couple weeks (presumably free) and then another camp"
Well he only has one grand parent capable of taking care of him (others are dead or are too old). Day camp is something I could check into I guess I know there is one near us.
Thanks to both of you, it may seem like a simple question but one I've never had to face before so I had never really thought about it and it's not exactly my strong point but you've both given me some stuff to have ready when we talk about it tonight.
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saveinla
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Post by saveinla on Jun 23, 2011 13:07:47 GMT -5
When my son was younger, we also had an option of free daycare that my work provided for 10 days a year. Even though he went to summer camp most of the weeks, on the weeks of July 4th and a couple other weeks, I would not have him go to camp, but have him to to the free daycare 2 days a week and then stay with friends or family 2 or 3 days for a change. If not, I would take a day off and do some fun things with him - go to the zoo or park or a movie etc.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 23, 2011 13:16:52 GMT -5
Pig, do you belong to a church? Around here, there's Vacation Bible Schools all over the place. They usually run 1 week - so you could probably run most of the summer at different churches, if that was your cup of tea...
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Post by pig on Jun 23, 2011 13:23:59 GMT -5
Yes, well my wife does and she goes to the services with him. However, he's really a home body and would not want to be away from home unless he could come home in the evenings.
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singlemomky
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Post by singlemomky on Jun 23, 2011 14:28:32 GMT -5
If you have a YMCA near you they probably have summer camps. My son who is 7 attends the Y program all summer long and we use their before/after care during the school year. You can sign up for 1 week intervals during the summer and at least here in Kentucky - they do up to 3 field trips per week so there are a lot of experiences and a lot to keep them busy.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Jun 23, 2011 14:41:55 GMT -5
Pig, you know I've got a lot of love for you, so I ask this in all sincerity: Are you serious with this question?
If you are serious, I would move him. A child that age is old enough to have some input into a situation like that.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 23, 2011 14:53:16 GMT -5
I would move him.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 23, 2011 14:56:30 GMT -5
I'd move him. You won't have daycare costs for very much longer so if you can absorb the costs I'd move him.
When I was in daycare there were lots of activities for "school aged" kids as we were called and there was a big enough group to make it worthwhile. We used to take regular trips to the public swimming pool ever summer.
I would have gone insane if I had had to endure watching Barney, playing sing-a-long and nap time with the kindergarteners/pre-schoolers and not only that, but not even have someone my own age to roll my eyes at.
I'd find him a daycare that has more kids his own age.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 23, 2011 15:02:21 GMT -5
If you can afford it, and he asked for it, I'd move him.
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dakota4600
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Post by dakota4600 on Jun 23, 2011 15:10:56 GMT -5
As a mom, I say move him or find other things to do some weeks. I have a 3 year old in a place that does 2.5-6 ages and even that span has a great difference in abilities and they tend to play with those closest to their age. I'm guessing he is really bored and a little lonely. This summer my niece who is 9 needed things to do, so her parents signed her up for different camps. Now they have the luxury of having my dad being retired and able to take her on days when she has nothing. But this summer she is doing art classes, photography classes, drama camp and a sports camp. Some of them are only for a few hours a day, but the others are 9-5 type deals. When I was growing up we usually went to YMCA camp for a few weeks each summer.
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mizbear
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Post by mizbear on Jun 23, 2011 20:30:40 GMT -5
You can throw out my views if you want- I am not a Mom- I'm an Aunt, but I do all the childcare....
I would say move him or look for affordable alternatives for the summer- such as daycamps, daytime VBS (if that's your family's belief), spending time with relatives, etc. I know my nieces (10 & 12) would go nuts stuck at a daycare where the average age was 5. Because of the laws, there are parents trying to find daycare for 12 year olds here. Are there any teens or college students that babysit in your area? Summer jobs are not in as plentiful supply as they used to be with the economy. And a good babysitter (refer to them as something else- I have always maintained with my nieces that they need adult supervision- not a babysitter) is hard to find. Check with the daycare and elementary teaching programs- they may have people looking for jobs. Is there an older cousin who would be willing to babysit? I bring this up simply because I was 14 when all but one of my cousins were 7 on down to infant. I very rarely sat for any but one of them, but we had fun- and he felt like a "big kid".
As someone who was always the oldest or a latchkey- except in high school, I know how bad it sucks to be the oldest and have to not do something becase of the little kids- and my grandmother was our sitter.
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MittenKitten
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Post by MittenKitten on Jun 23, 2011 22:02:32 GMT -5
Move him. I have 3 kids and a stepson, ages 14, 8, 5 and 3. Most schools have an afterschool and summer program for kids. Here they have many field trips and it sounds like a blast.
I thinks kids his age really need to be around kids the same age. Imagine if at work they forced you to be with some really stupid people all summer, I would imagine it would be hard to take and in many ways would be the same for your son. The only difference is the younger kids at daycare have a chance to grow and mature later.... It seems like a whole summer of daycare with young kids would be exceedingly boring and tedious with no escape.
My 8 YO is home with me for the summer but has many friends in the neighborhood and my niece who is 4 months older then him has and will be over often. I also have him enrolled in one session of YMCA daycamp and swim lessons.
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Post by pig on Jun 24, 2011 7:49:28 GMT -5
"Piggy, daycare for an 8-year-old?" What do you do with your 8 year old leave him home alone? "Are you serious with this question?" Yes. Why would I post it otherwise? You may feel he should have a say in the matter but I'm not so sure that's why I posted it.....to elicit opinions. Seems like most think something should be done. Thanks for all the suggestions! We did not get a chance to talk about it last night but should tonight.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2011 8:23:09 GMT -5
If his current daycare wasn't full, you could try to recruit one of his school friends so that he would have some age-appropriate interaction, but otherwise, I would move him.
With other kids his age, he is more likely to participate in activities that reinforce what he learned in school the past year so he doesn't forget stuff (even if they are educational activities, per se). In the current scenario, he is getting reinforcement of the lessons he learned in kindergarten.
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Post by pig on Jun 24, 2011 8:30:57 GMT -5
At what age did you let your kid come directly home after school? My son is extremely mature yet gets scared easily so it's not even an option yet.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 24, 2011 8:35:27 GMT -5
I had this same problem when DS was younger. I would look for either A- a different daycare situation with more kids his age or B- some camps or activities for him to do during the summer. At 8 and in elementary school there is a huge gap between your DS and the younger, not yet in school, kids at his current daycare.
Summer is nearly 1/3 over so I would probably leave him where he is if you can supplement in some time with his grandma and cousins and some summer camps or activities. Maybe plan for a different daycare situation for next summer.
My son is 13, he has two cousins (12 and 11) but they live 5 hours away. He has 5 cousins in town that he sees regularly but the oldest of them is 6. He entertains them when he has to but it makes for a long day if he is stuck at my mom and dad's surrounded by the little kids.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 24, 2011 8:42:20 GMT -5
Dr Pig- your 2nd question. When DS was 9 we let him start coming home alone after school. We lived a block from school and there were no streets for him to cross plus a bunch of other kids walking in the same direction. I worked about 5 miles from home. He had to call the minute he got home and he was alone for about an hour. Would have waited longer but his home daycare lady had a baby and opened a pre school across town. Sorry- but I refused to pay for her 13 year old son to baby sit my kid and hold a "fight club" for kids in the backyard at the same time.
Had a teenage baby-sitter that summer but the following year- when he was 10 (and going into the 4th grade) we started letting him stay home alone. But we signed him up for a bunch of day camps and things to keep him busy.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 24, 2011 8:53:39 GMT -5
I was 12 when my parents let be home alone because that's the age where I can legally be left alone. Part of it was we have/had a group of VERY nosy neighbors who loved nothing more than to report on kids in the neighborhood.
I don't know what the consequences would have been, but my parents weren't taking the chance that they'd be turned in by nosy Nancy across the street. So they did everything by the book.
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Post by pig on Jun 24, 2011 9:20:22 GMT -5
Is there really a law that says a child must be 12 before he can legally stay home alone? I mean I'm sure there is for infants etc but now you have me wondering/worried because I think he'd be able to in a year or two.
Thanks Sheila!
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mizbear
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Post by mizbear on Jun 24, 2011 9:37:42 GMT -5
Dr. Pig- Most states do have laws now. I was 8/9 when I first started going home alone- with my younger brother in tow- because my grandmother was too ill to watch us after school. Luckily, we lived in the housing complex my father was maintenance man/supervisor of. We could call the rental office or raise him on a CB radio if there was a problem. When my parents started their own business, my grandmother was well enough again to watch us, but during the summer we usually went with them on the delivery route. We had a sitter of some sort until I was in 8th grade and I took my first non-family babysitting job. Bt we were also living in a much smaller town then and I had learned that I could get my back up against bullies and strangers. If I was further away than across the street babysitting and my parents weren't home, my younger brother (2 years younger) usually had to tag along with me.
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mommax4
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Post by mommax4 on Jun 24, 2011 9:40:30 GMT -5
Dr Pig-yes there really are laws regarding the age kids can be left alone at home, depending on which state you live in. Here's a link that lists them by state. www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm BTW, I agree with the other moms, that he's probably bored and would benefit from either day-camp/visiting relatives or finding a daycare arrangement with more kids his age. You mention he's a home-body, you may want to look into hiring a high-school age (or college age if there's one of those near you) next summer. They are often looking for jobs for over the summer only. A site like sittercity.com usually has done some pre-screening as well.
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Post by pig on Jun 24, 2011 9:44:09 GMT -5
Thanks for the link, for my state it says "none" I'll bring up the summer day camp idea to the wife as that seems to satisfy most of my concernes and his needs. It will hinge on wether or not we can keep our spot with them during the school year. Of course, my wife, may have other ideas. I might just have her read this thread.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jun 24, 2011 9:57:02 GMT -5
Is there really a law that says a child must be 12 before he can legally stay home alone? I mean I'm sure there is for infants etc but now you have me wondering/worried because I think he'd be able to in a year or two. Thanks Sheila! Most have a law that children too young can't be left alone without adequate supervision. What is either too young or adequate supervision is open for debate though. It really depends on the child's maturity level IMO. My DD I started leaving home alone for a few minutes at a time between 9 and 10. It started out with her being in the backyard and me in the house or vice versa and worked up to me going to the corner WaWa for milk. By the time she was in 4th grade if I was running late after school she would be inside having let herself in with the key and have a snack. My son is 8 and I am not sure he will be mature enough when he goes to college. As far as daycare I would find someplace else for him to go this summer. Just tell your friends that he seems to be the only boy his age and he is bored. If it is a good daycare like you said then they will probably already seen that and not be surprised at all. Most places around here do allow you to skip the summer and still hold the kids place for the school year. Something to ask them about.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 24, 2011 10:56:41 GMT -5
Dr Pig- not sure what options you have in your area. We have a lot of sports programs through the Y in our town, a very active community ed program, and the local university. Through our community ed department there are day trips the kids can sign up for. They all have to wear matching t-shirts so they can be easily identified and have plenty of chaperons. They go to the movies, water parks, zoo, etc. Flat daily fee plus you pack a lunch. The Y offers summer sports camps and regular week long camps. and the University has a bunch of educational camps. Engineering, robotics, math, etc.
DS currently does summer tennis 4 mornings a week and will do a survival camp (compass reading, hiking, camping, etc) for a week and two separate engineering camps at the university. Of course it is important to note that I have a very flexible work schedule that allows me to leave to drive him places and the survival camp and engineering camps are 8 hour a day camps.
The day trips he did when he was younger are normally all day- drop kid off between 7:30 and 8:00am and they return for the day around 4:30.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 25, 2011 20:24:57 GMT -5
Vacation Bible School isn't overnight.
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mourningcloak
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Post by mourningcloak on Jun 26, 2011 8:52:57 GMT -5
My son is in a similar situation. There are the daycare owner's two sons, a boy who is occasionally there, and she did just add twins that are the only kids around my son's age. She's divorced so her sons are often with their father, especially during their school breaks. I live 4 hours from my hometown so my son spends a good part of his summer there between attending the church camp I grew up with and then splitting the time between his grandmothers and his father. During the school year he loves being the big helper, but during the summer I think he would get bored to tears if he had to spend all day every day with all the little ones at the day care. For the school year does your son participate in any activities that give him the chance to interact with kids his age? He may be more interesting in the interaction with other children than in moving daycares. Cub Scouts, sports, arts of any type, whatever most interests your child. "My son is 8 and I am not sure he will be mature enough when he goes to college" Love this line 973beachbum! My son is 9 and I feel the same way. For my son it isn't a lack of maturity but his inability to control his impulsiveness from his ADHD after his meds had worn off. He'd "forget" not to answer the door or wouldn't be able to wait to try out his new toy or whatever and would end up locking himself out of the condo building knowing him! I'm trying to figure out what options to work out for him when he does turn 12 and shouldn't be in daycare anymore
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